Got Bad Feelings?

One of the most asked questions I get from LOA savvy folks are what to do with negative feelings. We know we get what we vibrate, so if we're immersed in something negative, how do we get out of it?

Answer: stop trying to get out of it.

Feel your feelings.

They're not as scary as they might seem.

I'm not saying revel in them, or stay stuck in them. I'm just saying we aren't going to be able to avoid feeling them by ignoring them or wishing them away. It's okay to feel them. That's actually a rich part of the human experience, don't you think?

You're irritated at your sister for changing the family's holiday plans? That's okay. Be irritated. So what? Once you let yourself be irritated, it's much easier to get over it. It's trying NOT to be irritated that keeps you stuck in it.

You're mad at the boss for shortchanging you on the raise he promised? It is what it is. If you're mad, be mad. And then you'll be able to leave mad behind sooner rather than later.

It's not that you approach your less-than-fabulous feelings with the AGENDA of ridding yourself of them, rather that's just a beautiful side benefit that those negative feelings are more easily released after you accept them.

Weird, huh?

Well, it's not that weird. What we resist, persists. So don't be afraid of your negative emotions.

When I let myself entertain thoughts of revenge against that neighbor I struggled for weeks with, that actually felt better. (A LOT better. It feels awful to feel powerless, but revenge - now that gave me access to feelings of power again.) That feeling of revenge eventually gave me access to choose other feelings, like peace and appreciation. But if I had sworn off all negative feelings - oh man, I hate to think where I'd still be with him.

Where does deliberate creation fit in all this? In our conscious choice to feel what we feel. And then making deliberate movement up the emotional scale as we're ready to.

When I had Shadow euthanized, I felt sad. I didn't try talking myself out of it, although I did remind myself I didn't need to be sad for him. I let myself be sad for me. It's amazing how much more quickly I move through grief now that I know to let myself feel it. Instead of trying to pretend it's okay or wishing the pain away or doing everything possible to avoid thoughts of my favorite cat, I just feel sad.

So I felt sad.

And then ... I didn't.

Instead of dealing with buried grief that I'm afraid would just bring me more things to grieve over, I honored what I felt. That allowed me to move on to appreciation and love for what great company he was for those 18.5 years. As I find my way to thoughts that feel better, I welcome those. No need to dwell in something that doesn't feel great when there are other options available.

But until those other options become available - in fact, what ALLOWS them to become available - is feeling what's up for you now.

So here's to your fabulous feelings, including the revenge and anger and despair and all the other wicked ones. Let go of your judgment and fear of them, and enjoy playing with the full deck.

(Unless of course judgment or fear is what's up for you. ha In that case, enjoy them too!)

What We Resist

Yesterday afternoon I thought some of us might get a kick out of this story. My girlfriend was selling shoes at the Greek Festival this weekend and I offered to help her man the booth.

She has an amazing array of shoes, the kind you can't help but ooh and ahh over. Nothing practical here - it's all glitter and glam. From flats to pumps to clogs to wedges to boots and sandals - she has it all. Some were sparkly, some had lacy straps, some were made of shiny satin, some had such pointy heels they were an engineering wonder - and honestly, you can't help but touch them. They're just fun!

She had one particularly appealing pair of shoes with fur trim that made everyone smile when they saw them. Most passersby would stop, look, laugh and then actually pet them. (Especially the men - go figure!)

I thought it was cute and a good draw; my girlfriend was annoyed that people were handling her merchandise.

So she made up a "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH!" sign and just as she placed it next to the irrestistible fur-trimmed shoe, two women approached with a yellow lab by their side.

You know me, as soon as a dog is on the scene, I forget everything else.

But pretty soon I was smiling to realize the law of attraction was proving itself in quick action once again. This was a seeing-eye dog for one of the ladies, whose owner promptly began shopping by handling every shoe on display while her friend described the colors to her.

I had to laugh that as soon my girlfriend took action to stop people from touching her merchandise (resistance), she attracted a situation that delivered more of what she didn't want.

She wasn't really in a mood for an LOA lesson, I thought, so I was proud to not say anything. Well, to her anyway. I knew the rest of us would get a kick out of it!

And of course, I realize she's mirroring exactly what many of us do every day without realizing it. She knows how this stuff works - so do we. Yet how often do we unconsciously slip into "resist" mode?

Not that I would encourage us to look for resistance, since we get what we look for. But maybe a good focus is on what we're allowing, and where we have more opportunities to relax and flow, and on a greater level.

With that said I'm going to go "flow" an article for my editor. Happy day, everyone!

I'm Not Making This Up!

That's what I said to myself in the shower this morning, as I wondered why I would send my new partner copies of two critical emails I received about our joint call last night.

I know better than to pass along anything negative, and yet I didn't miss a beat on it. Amy wrote back saying something to the effect of: I really don't need to see these. Where are you conflicted?

Which made me wonder why I passed them along. What came up was a feeling of justification: "I TOLD you, Amy! I'm not making this up!"

Oh really, Jeannette? You're not making it up? If it's not you, who is it?

In sorting out the energy behind it, I became clear I wasn't completely comfortable with her promotion skills. Plain and simple. Doesn't make me, her, or the strategies right or wrong. It's just how I feel about it.

And that feeling ... well, we all know what that attracts. I'm not comfortable; I attract more to match that. People who aren't comfortable. Me receiving emails that aren't comfortable. Me making Amy uncomfortable. (Or trying to.)

So then my mind goes to justification.

I wanted her to know "I'm not making this up!" People don't appreciate being marketed to this way! It isn't just ME that isn't down with traditional selling strategies. We've got to do it DIFFERENT! We've got to leave these old "rules" behind! This is OLD STUFF. It DOESN'T WORK!

But guess what? I AM making this up. Every bit of it. There isn't a single thing I'm not responsible for creating. (Hard core, I know, but I believe it to be true.)

So while Amy's having a perfectly effective preview call (we only had four slots left by the time the call ended), I'm having very subtle mixed feelings which attracts the type of emails that I hardly EVER receive. The only time I've received anything like that was back when I partnered with Jen Blackert. (Who is still up to fun stuff, I might add. I just signed up for her preview call.)

What have I learned here?

I am making this up. I'm making up that people aren't comfortable with this style of marketing. I'm the one making up that it will turn some folks off. I'm the one making up that it will risk my reputation. I'm making it up. All of it.

If that's the case (which it is), how 'bout I make something else up?

All right, now I'm getting somewhere.

How about I make up that folks get who I am and what I'm about - it doesn't matter the words or the colors or the partners I use. People get me. Plain and simple. (I LIKE that.)

How about I make up that Amy brings incredibly valuable technical and marketing expertise to the table. (Which she does.) That she's not a marketing handicap, but an asset. How about I make up that I get wonderful feedback from here on out?

(Truth be told, just in the time I started writing this I've received three "raving" emails about last night's call. That's how quickly the Universe can respond to energy shift.)

So, all right, I'm making it up. I get it now.

Which leads to my next question ... what are YOU making up? Is it serving you, or can you see room for improvement?

A worthy question, I discovered in this morning's shower. :)

Law of Attraction and Aging

"You're not getting any younger, you know."

Ahem.

These words probably make the top ten list of "How to Spoil Sunday with Your Girlfriend."

I said to Russ, "Look, these are words you should never say to ANY woman you want to sleep with, let alone the one who doesn't believe in aging."

"You don't believe in aging?" He said it more than asked it. Like he was confirming just how crazy his girlfriend was.

"Well, I'm trying NOT to. That's my point. Hearing it from you doesn't help. I want to escape that old mentality. I want to grow younger and get healthier and better looking every day."

"'Old mentality,'" he repeats. "Honey, aging is a fact." (As if I were an eight year old that he was breaking the news to about the Tooth Fairy.) "It's what happens. You can't stop it. You can't stop time."

Well, with any hope of a friendly romantic encounter shot to smithereens, I let him have it.

"All right, let's go over this again." And I ran him through the principles of deliberate creation a-frickin-gain. We get what we think about. There are no rules out there. There are no limitations. If we can imagine it, we can have it. There isn't any reason we should be aging, other than that the whole of society has bought into it, and I'm opting out.

"You're opting out of aging," he says, not even trying to mask the laughter in his voice.

"Yeah, I am. And I guarantee I'm not doing it so I can hang out with some decrepit old guy, so I would rethink my position on this, if I were you."

I tell him I'm not the only one thinking this. That others are on board with this same idea. LOTS of others. I don't know how many, but I know I'm not alone. I've been trained by one of them. (Ron Zeller, who is a stand for ageless living. His wife, who is known as Ninja Grandma. Not to mention all the yogis who are known for good health in the upper echelons of birthdays.)

And while I'm telling him that, I'm thinking of the enormous vibrational escrow of all those people all those years who desperately wanted good health and great looks in their later years. Oh yeah, I'm tapping into THAT party!

So, Russ agrees not to argue with my beliefs, and swears I will never again hear him say, "You're not getting any younger."

As he's making breakfast (making fun of my brown $4 cage-free eggs and rice milk), I find two emails in my in-box related to law of attraction and aging. Or anti-aging, I should say. Thank you, Universe, for backing me up!

I march out of the office with news of the two articles that were waiting for me this morning. "I am not alone," I repeat to him with conviction.

"That's nice, honey." He's clearly made peace with having a crazy girlfriend.

And I'm gearing up for making peace with having a 30 year old boyfriend in my last years of life. Maybe he could have an accent, too. Olive skin. Gorgeous smile. (We'll see who has the last laugh, Mr. Smart Guy.)

Just to nail this vibration down, I'm thinking about turning 27 this year. I've turned 27 a couple of times now, and have enjoyed it every time. It's a good year. I thought about earlier twenties, but they seemed a little shallow. 30's seemed a little heavier. So I'm going with carefree, optimistic, fabulously healthy and fit, got-my-whole-life-ahead-of-me 27.

I really really like my girlfriend's girlfriend who doesn't know how old she is (really, she doesn't know! She doesn't keep track!), and my former coach who would flat out lie (and feel great about it) when someone asked her age. I'm letting go of what it "means" to age as well. It doesn't mean anything; it's not who I am; and I just get better with every day that passes.

That's what I'm manifesting with the law of attraction. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it. Because I know it's possible. And I pick it. Period.

Yes, it might feel like a stretch today, but as I spend more time with it, and more time with articles and people lined up with it, it'll become more and more mine. Watch me go!

PS - here's a link to those two articles I mentioned. We're SO turning the "rules" upside down!

Law of Attraction and Lousy Spouses?

The other day I read a law of attraction-related article that said "If your spouse is a louse, chances you are too."

That feels like a harsh way to put it, but the point is a valid one.

We get what we vibrate.

I mentioned this article in a session with my relationship coach (yes, I brought in the big guns a month or so ago), and asked her take on it. Like any good coach, she put the spotlight right back on me. "What do you think about it?"

Well, I pondered, it makes me wonder what the way I think about Russ says about me.

"What do you think about Russ?"

Sometimes I want to wring her neck for what she makes me look at! (Like any good coach often inspires in clients.) But she's also a retired Air Force Colonel (who else could handle me?), so I wouldn't really want to take her on.

What I think about Russ, it turns out, is every thing (I think) I'm not that I supposedly, probably long to be. (Disinterested in personal development and self-growth, satisfied with my mundane lot in life, unambitious, disrespectful of health, reserved in expressing love, etc.)

So I saw these things I would never allow myself to be, embodied in my partner. Mm hmm.

What I resist, persists. In my partner?! lol

Wow, is this just another big lesson in allowing? In relaxing? In giving up any "pushing against"?

Maybe.

How would that feel to give up the resistance? To be okay with the fact that Russ is content working an unfulfilling corporate job? To be at peace with knowing he's going to eat white bread his whole life? To honor that his happiness level is just fine for him? To get okay with him not telling his family he loves them the way I know he does?

Or even better, to acknowledge that I am ALSO these things. As I release the resistance - the push against, I find peace. Shoot, I eat what some would think of as unhealthy. I don't tell my whole family I love them. I AM Russ! Oh my gosh. No wonder he frustrates me so much.

As Byron Katie says, "We live with our best teachers."

This month I celebrate a one year anniversary with my best teacher. This post is making me wistful to think of all the teaching opportunities I broke up with over the years. Thank God the teachers didn't give up on me! lol

It almost feels like on my anniversary I should sent a present to all my ex-boyfriends.

And maybe give a present to myself: the gift of peace. It's okay, isn't it Lorenzo? Silly me, I forgot again for a second there. (Patting myself on the head now; I'm okay, you're okay.)

It's always okay. I got it. :)

AND STILL - I hear Abraham saying how much easier it is to get a gourmet meal at a nice restaurant instead of trying to manifest one at a dive. And on the other hand, their recent quote: "We would like you to understand that every person on the planet has the potential to thrill you beyond description and cause you despair beyond description. It just depends on what part of them is most activated in you."

I'm chewing on this still ... In peace. Knowing it's all okay. Right now. Today. :)

Zo Life Wisdom

River raft trip leader Lorenzo (known as "Zo" by everyone on the river), said there are three key things to remember in the rapids:

1. Don't panic
2. Hold on
3. Have fun

Here's how that goes:

When we're in the boat in the rapids, first of all, don't panic. Some people do. He told us not to. It doesn't enhance enjoyment for anyone. Second, hold on. It keeps you in the boat, having a safe ride. Last, have fun - that's what we're here for, after all!

Zo said if we forget the second instruction, and we let go, and are ejected from the boat, same 3 things apply:

Remember, don't panic. (From an LOA perspective, I'm sure that first instruction could be better worded. But, in the heat of the moment, it probably works.)

You're out of the boat. Don't panic. It's okay. Keep your head, maintain your cool. Everything's fine.

That's good instruction in life, too, isn't it? You lost your job. It's okay! Your girlfriend broke off the engagement. You'll be fine! The doctor just gave you a diagnosis that doesn't sound good. Don't panic. It all works out.

Second instruction: hold on. Lorenzo told us to hold on to our life jacket, it'll keep our head above water. Air is good.

This makes sense in life, too: hold on. You know what works for you in life, right? Hold on to that. Whether it's your watercolor hobby, your workouts that keep you sane, yoga that keeps you grounded, your Starbucks latte that makes life worth living. Hold on to what's working for you.

Third instruction: have fun. You're in the water, and you're in the rapids. And you're in for the ride of your life!! Enjoy!

When it seems like life's going to hell in a handbasket, have some fun! lol There's something to enjoy here, I'm positive. Look for it, and appreciate it. When my beloved best friend retriever Sophie died last year, right on the heels of losing my even bigger best friend chow Kita, I took a deep breath and fostered some puppies. (Two of whom are my newest family members.)

When my guy makes his exit, I get to flirt with strange men again! When the boss tried to fire me, I relished the thought of being free. It's what gave real life and inspiration to my fantasies of starting a coaching practice.

There's a way to enjoy the ride. When we have our attention pointed in that direction, it's inevitable that we will. So, remember to have fun! : )

Lorenzo, who thought I'd find my mentor on the river?

It's Okay

Just rolling into town after a four day river raft trip down Cataract Canyon on the Colorado River out of southern Utah. Wow! What an experience!!

As I get back to the computer to catch up on client emails, I wanted to share one of my favorite teachings from Trip Leader Lorenzo (aka "Zo").

We got our safety speech morning of day two, after floating flat water the prior day. It was chock full of life wisdom, which I can hardly wait to share - but my favorite was how we were guided to remember/realize that we are okay. Already. And always.

Our wise guide said if we end up in the water, the first thing he's going to do is make eye contact with us and ask the question "Are you okay?" Since we won't be able to hear each other (because the rapids are LOUD), he'll ask the question by patting the top of his head with his hand. "Are you okay?"

That's our cue to answer "Yes, I'm okay," which we also give by patting the top of our heads.

So he pats his head (asking, "Okay?") and I pat my head (answering affirmatively, "Okay").

Our guide went on to give us the distress signal, and some tips on when to use it.

He said if you've just been thrown out of the boat, and an oar hit you hard in the neck on your way out, and while under water you took on a mouthful of water and scraped your leg on the rope, which you're pretty sure is bleeding, and you're really really really scared, Lorenzo reminds us, "You're definitely, positively OKAY!"

The wisdom of this practically brings me to tears.

Even when you think it's bad, you're really okay. You're here! You're alive!! And you're now in for the ride of your life!! Because surely there's no better way to run the rapids than in your life vest!! Ha!! (I SO believe that!)

Lorenzo says that not only will our stories will be the best, but we'll also be up close and getting real familiar with Nature, in all her glory - and man, are WE OKAY!!! What could BE more okay??

I can't imagine!!

Why people run rapids ... it's clear to me now. The part where we just float on quiet, flat water ... ? That part is nice and peaceful and everything, but it gets kind of boring after a day or so.

Those rapids, though?! WOW! First time you hear those coming up around the corner!! Woo hoooo hooooooo!!!!!! Now THAT'S exciting!

It's the same reason we're here, living these lives, facing these challenges, isn't it? Getting our hearts broken, birthing our projects and our works of art, experiencing the full range of emotions from anger and joy and depression and revenge and hope and all the rest - living life full out!

Because it's FUN!!! We love it!! Even when we've been hit in the throat, and we're cold and not in the boat, and getting tossed about in the stream - which just wants to spit us back to the top to take another big breath for our next big ride anyway - even when it looks not so bad, guess what? We're OKAY!!!!

What could be better?

We picked a fabulous ride, didn't we?!

And we're okay. I'm okay. You're okay. We're here! Doing our thing!! Having the time of our lives!!

Wow, doesn't it just make you want to go climb something, fly somewhere, build something, or love someone?

It does me. And I'm sending that love to you. Along with the reminder that it's all okay.

I'm okay. You're okay.

And if I ever forget, I'll remember Zo patting his head, reminding me of it. I'm okay. He's okay. It's all okay.

Thank you, Lorenzo. : )

What We Really Want

On the heels of exploring what we "need," I'm now thinking about "want" and the true essence of desire. What is it we really want?

I suspect we don't really want what we think we want. When we say we want a certain amount of money, or a particular number on the scale, or a loving partner in our life - that's not what we really want. Is it?

What we want, I believe, is the feeling we think that thing will give us.

Bottom line, we want to feel good. And we think having financial freedom or a beautiful body or true love - or whatever we set our sights on - will take us there.

Which it may. But it's not what we really want. Because if I got the guy and didn't enjoy it, I'd feel ripped off. If I landed financial freedom but didn't feel the high I thought that would bring, I'd be disappointed. If I reached my weight goal but still didn't feel good in this body - I missed the true target, right?

What if I cut out the "middle man" and went straight for the true essence of my desire: which I'm arguing is feeling good .. ? What would change?

Hmm. Maybe everything.

Maybe I'd stop focusing on creating a toned, swimsuit-ready body for this month's river trip, and instead relax and enjoy these weeks leading up to it more.

Maybe instead of working to get these rabbits adopted out, I'd appreciate having them here more than I am.

Maybe instead of straightening out my relationship and knowing where it's going and what it is, I'd just appreciate the quirks of it.

Seems like my "feel good" is strongly associated with appreciating "what is" now.

Hmm.

Kinda takes the pressure off. Feels kinda good.

I could be onto something here. : )

What Do You Need?

Fun question to explore, isn't it? "What do I need?"

What does it feel like to "need" something? Whether it's better sleep, someone to return our call, a dog to stop barking .. what does it feel like to "need" it?

Doesn't it feel like your peace of mind or happiness was put on hold while you entertain this energy of "needing"?

What if we didn't need anything? And where does the belief that we need anything come from?

Surely we don't. Like some things, sure. Desire lots of stuff, absolutely. But need it? I'm not convinced.

Even oxygen, water, food, shelter ... I mean, I don't really need those things, right? Because who I am isn't this body. My survival isn't at risk. Ever. At least, not who I REALLY am.

When I look at it in the calm moments, it's clear that the energy of "need" doesn't serve me. It prevents the 100% allowing energy to be present.

But I'll tell you what - when 3 o'clock rolls around and I'm out of chocolate, I may very well have a different perspective on what I (think I) need.

Maybe this afternoon I'll approach it differently. Maybe I'll recognize I don't need a seratonin fix; maybe I'll recognize I want one enough to go get it. And I can be peaceful in the process.

Hmm. Maybe. :)

Looking at "Gone Wrong"

Does it serve us to look for why something went wrong? I suspect some would say it doesn't, because it keeps us stuck in the vibration of "gone wrong," but I think there may be occasions when it's helpful to understand where something came from in order to learn from and/or break loose from it.

I'm thinking of my former LOA coach who, when I asked why she was sick for three days straight, answered, "Don't know, don't care, movin' on." I was stumped that she would have been a match to severe sickness, and even more stumped that she wouldn't talk about it.

Then I realized it's because she didn't want to vibrate it any more. Duh.

But that approach doesn't always work for everyone in every situation. And is it possible we miss valuable info from it? I suspect so.

For example, I learned a lot from my temporarily disabled refrigerator and dryer over the last year. I got that info by asking "why?" When something's amiss in my body, one of my favorite exercises is asking the body part what message it has for me. I've gotten FABULOUS life direction from this little 5' 9" masterpiece of mine. That info also came from looking into "why?"

Looking at an ended relationship in hindsight gave me lots of good info, I think. Or did it keep me in "ended relationship" vibration? Man, maybe both!!

I just read about Greta's stolen car in June's Catalyst Magazine, and I'm sure there's something to be learned there as well. (May just be that her car took the vacation she was needing herself, which she did indeed award herself shortly thereafter.)

I'm also thinking of a dear friend who had a big presentation scheduled, and allowed himself to get completely sidetracked after experiencing a near miss accident the night before. The near miss shifted his focus so dramatically that he wasn't able to enjoy his successful presentation, and still wasn't himself days later. He's still talking about the accident that didn't happen, and although I started it - now he's talking about why he's talking about it.

So it seems to me there can be helpful information in looking at things "gone wrong," to a certain extent. We don't want to dwell in a vibration that represents a "don't want" longer than is useful. The question them becomes how much is useful?

Maybe it's possible to look at what happened without getting in the vibration of it. I mean, could I look at my ended relationship without vibrating "ended relationship"? Rather, vibrating "curious about events that transpired"? I think so.

But, I could be wrong. Guaranteed I'll be paying attention to the vibe next time I'm inspired to spend time analyzing something "gone wrong."

Our Role in Co-Creating

This is a topic I rarely broach. Feels kind of voo-doo-ey to some, including me sometimes. But it's undeniable, so here it is.

Those new to deliberate creation sooner or later ask how much effect, if any, they can have on someone else. After all, we can't vibrate FOR someone else, so how much can we REALLY create our own reality, if that reality involves someone else, and that someone else might want something else?

Well, you might be surprised.

But the fact is you're already doing it. Just not deliberately most of the time.

I expect my boyfriend to be mad because my ex is here helping clean bunny cages, and sure enough, he is. (At least I also expected him to leave me the chocolate devotion ice cream from Coldstone before he drove home in a huff. Got even more mad when I didn't get upset that he was upset, which I also expected him to do. That was NOT deliberate creation. That was crappy default creation on my part.)

People live up to and down to our expectations all day long.

As we anticipate our boss being contradictory and unsympathetic, we create her that way. When we imagine her as understanding and helpful, we come to work to find a whole new person in the boss' chair.

Doubt it? Put it to the test.

Expecting your neighbor to be nosy, uncompromising or annoying? Give something else a try and see how they change. Wishing your spouse weren't so stubborn about not wanting to go with your suggestion? Imagine them open instead of closed, and then get open YOURSELF. It allows for miracles.

Have you ever noticed yourself reacting strangely or out of character with someone in a particular situation? Likely you were experiencing the effect of their intentions. "I don't know what came over me!" we'll say, genuinely perplexed.

Those who have worked with me heard about when I first learned law of attraction, my boyfriend at the time didn't miss a beat in implementing it himself. Within days of my first deliberate creation "miracle" (Jeff's adoption), I realized I was having WAY more sex than usual. I mean a LOT more. After the third day I thought, "This isn't like me! What's going on?" I immediately realized my astute beau was also a quick study of LOA.

I told him to stop because it wasn't ethical.

That didn't scare him.

So I told him to stop because if he kept manifesting that I was super-interested in sex, he would very likely drive me into the arms of someone else, because I was now dead set against sex with him.

The fact is that our vibrations affect those we interact with. When we become more deliberate about the energy we flow, it shows. (And whether or not it's ethical to manifest certain things for others is not anyone else's call to make, contrary to what I said to my guy years ago.)

My advice: check in on your expectations of others, and make sure they're in alignment with what you want.

Anyone Missing the Meal for the Scraps?

My 18 year old black cat eats a special canned food to support healthy liver function. Because he's the only one who gets it, everyone in the house thinks Shadow's getting a huge treat. So when the can's empty, I give it to chow pup Koda Bear to lick clean. It's one of his favorite treats!

Which now means one of Koda's favorite pasttimes is licking cans. So much so that I decided he deserved his own canned food. Anyone who likes anything that much should get more of it, right?

Here's how this goes down: I open a can of Nature's Variety wet dog food (it's good stuff: organic, human grade beef, no preservatives), I fill up his bowl with the wet food, but all he has eyes for is the empty can.

He's an absolute nut for that can! Even with the food bowl right in front of him brimming with the REAL deal, his focus is locked on that empty can.

Sometimes I put the can on the counter so he'll find the food. But all he does is sit on the ground staring at the counter, while the cats eat his food. Sometimes I put the can right next to the bowl, so he'll at least be pointed in the direction of the GOOD stuff. But he goes for the can first, scooping it up in his mouth and running to the back door with tail waving so he can be let out to enjoy his treat in peace.

This has gone on for some time now. Even when he gets his nose in the bowl he still turns to the can. (Which makes me think how chows aren't known for being particularly bright.) And then I wonder what he's reflecting to ME.

Do I do the same thing? Miss the good stuff because I've become so conditioned to scraps? Have I trained myself to not even see desserts on the menu, because I'm used to keeping them off limits? Do I not even recognize the opportunity or resource right in front of me because I'm used to doing things the hard way, on my own?

I think I have a pretty good nose for the "gourmet meal" - but how would I know if I'm not seeing it in certain situations? Out of routine, do I just accept that some things are the way they are, and the sooner I accept it the better? Did I pass up the opportunity of a lifetime, because I'm used to second best?

I don't know. But you better believe Koda's teaching me to look. I'll let you know if I discover any gourmet meals. As always, would love to hear your thoughts/experiences.

Guess Who Mowed?

Remember my neighbor from my April 9 post? The one I had not much good to say about until I realized he offered me the gift of discovering peace within? Well, guess who mowed my lawn this weekend?

Yeah, he did. (!!) He also doesn't sleep in the tent any more, I haven't seen his girlfriend or heard a fight in forever, and now has a job he goes to every day.

And even more ... someone told him his motorcycle disturbs my bunnies (I'm fostering nine for Bunny Bunch), so he shuts his bike off as he gets close to home and coasts in the driveway. Bunnies don't even flick an ear his way. I'm kind of in love with this guy now!

How did I get so lucky to have a neighbor this great? I have a suspicion. I cleaned up my vibe. Universe answered it. That simple.

Man, it's good to understand vibrations, and even more - to implement that knowledge!

Who are you?

Question on mind this afternoon: Who are you? When you're introducing yourself to someone new, how do you sum yourself up?

I just hung up with the most delightful woman in Georgia who inspired me to question how I talk and think about myself. In her intro she said, "I'm a 62 year old teacher who's had two strokes." Turns out she's an enthusiastic and passionate business woman with a strong love of God. There was nothing 62 about her, or teacher, or strokes. That's not who she is. That might be what she's doing (or did), but not remotely who she is.

So that struck me as an interesting way to identify yourself. Age, occupation, medical status.

Yes, I know it makes a difference in who we're talking to, what the context is, etc.

(Or does it?)

Over the weekend I met a great guy who introduced himself as a former stockbroker who got tired of making money off people. And another guy who introduced himself as a caretaker of two Brittany Spaniels whose obsession with paragliding made for enormous relationship challenges. And a woman who introduced herself by stating the neighborhood she lived in.

How do you think about yourself? What do you tell other people when you want to give them an idea of who you are? And how careful are you in manipulating their assessment of you?

I realized my intro varies greatly depending on who I'm talking to. What does THAT say? That I'm making judgments or assumptions about you, what your interest level is, how much I care to reveal, etc. And that's perfectly fine, I guess. But am I shortchanging you? Or more importantly, myself? Perhaps creating myself to be who I'm introducing myself as?

How can that NOT be the case, when my word creates my world?

I mean, who I REALLY think I am isn't something I've ever said to anyone, let alone in an intro upon first meeting. (Lover of Life. I can't imagine a better way to sum it up.) But others hear "I'm an Attraction Coach," "a dog lover," "a refugee from the corporate world," "happily divorced," "a foster mom," "writer," etc.

How limiting is it to respond out of social conventions?

What if instead I said, "I'm an explorer of the joys of planet earth," or "an adventurer in our time/space illusion," or ... oh, I've got it: "I'm here for a good time." I think that's it! I'm going with it. I'll report back my experience with it. lol (Could be the last time my boyfriend introduces me to anyone!)

I expect how I talk about myself, especially when it's out of alignment with how I think about myself, will change something. Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

My Wild Siamese

Last month the local animal shelter asked me to foster a very pregnant feral (wild) cat. This beautiful Siamese mom now has six healthy and thriving kittens. Which I am DYING to play with now that they're starting to walk and play! They are SO cute!

But their mom has other ideas. She doesn't want me anywhere near her or her babies. Last night she let me know she was serious, and I walked away with several bleeding scratches.

So this morning I'm looking at this ferocious mom, and her darling kittens (one of whom is already hissing, too), and realizing if they hang out with her too long they won't be adoptable.

Then I think about how that happens to us, too. How when we hang out with certain kinds of people, we pick up their traits, which become ingrained within. That we sometimes carry for life.

You know, we show up here on our birthday, knowing everything's cool and it's a friendly Universe and all, and then along the way we learn to hiss and bite and scratch and defend.

But what I like about us is that we have the ability to change. I haven't had much luck taming feral cats in my 15 years of animal rescue. I actually don't even try any more if they're over 4 months old. But no matter how old WE are, there is always hope for change.

I talk with 70+ year old clients who are learning for the first time in their lives how to trust. I meet with 40+ year old executives who are realizing there's more love out there than they've been letting in. Not to mention my 20+ year old clients who are breaking new ground on their own.

We are such a fascinating species, capable of SO much! When we find ourselves somewhere we don't want to be, we're not stuck. We're not doomed. We can change. In fact, we ARE changing!

And surely, since we humans are so smart, I can figure out how to tame these kitties without upsetting mom and taking on any more scars. lol

Here's to changing the habits that don't serve us; releasing the patterns that keep us from the love and excitement and joy that await us, so we can live the lives we had in mind when we signed up for this go-round on Planet Earth.

Lessons from the Scale

One of my favorite lessons this year is being taught me by my scale.

I never owned a scale until my best friend bought me a makeup mirror for Christmas years ago (which is like gifting me with earrings - I'll simply NEVER use it), so I returned it and came home with a scale instead.

It used to stay in the basement, but my boyfriend likes to check in on his weight regularly, so I brought it upstairs for him. And of course, I now find myself on it more than I used to.

You know Abraham's advice to only take measurements when you're sure you'll like what you see, right? Yeah, I follow that. It's just too easy to be deflated by disappointing numbers.

Well, after a couple weeks of standing on it now and again, I discovered that if I moved the scale just a few inches, I got a COMPLETELY different number. You'd laugh if you saw me pushing that thing all over the kitchen floor finding the highest and the lowest numbers. It was ridiculous.

(Well, it still is. I do it every time.)

At first I didn't know what to make of it, but then I started getting frustrated. How was I supposed to know what I weighed?? I mean, I haven't been to a doctor in years, and even if I remembered what they weighed me in at - that was with clothes on and after eating. (Do I sound neurotic about accurate weight? Yeah.)

So how do I know how much I weigh?? What if I've been wrong all these years? How will I ever know my true weight?

And as I asked those questions, I then thought "Wow, what if I didn't ever know?" And ... this is a mind blower ... "What if it didn't matter??"

What if I had no idea what different numbers "meant"? For that matter, what if I didn't know my size? Or my measurements? Or how much money I made? Or how old I was?

What if I could live completely free from the meaning of the numbers in my life?

Wow ... what if ... huh?

(I say "YES!")

So maybe it starts with that scale going back to the basement. Or better yet, in the giveaway box.

Or maybe I just keep it in the skinny spot. lol

I don't know! Like I said, I'm still learning this lesson.

In the meantime, go ahead and ask me how old I am. I think I can have fun with that one. (hee hee)

How to Get Fired

Earlier this week I finally got around to reading a couple articles in the latest issue of "Choice" magazine (professional coaching trade journal). This issue was dedicated to handling difficult clients, and the article I read was about different ways to handle the ending of a coaching relationship.

Author Melanie DewBerry-Jones' opening sentence of the article talks about how just as she was finishing writing this article (about clients leaving), a client called to end their coaching relationship.

My first thought was "Helloooo - what do you think's gonna happen when you write an article about getting fired?"

You know where this is going, don't you?

I hadn't even finished the whole article, but my second session for the day was with someone who told me she's "done." lol

Hellloooooo!! What do you THINK'S gonna happen when you read an article about getting fired?

I crack myself UP!

So ... thought it was worth mentioning so we can all be more deliberate and intentional about what we read/vibrate.

Happy Thursday to y'all!

PS - for those of you who listened to my audio postcard mailed out late last night, NO, you are not the difficult client I referenced. lol My inbox has almost as many former clients writing to say "was it me?" as I had requests to join the High Demand class I was promoting. No, it wasn't you. (Next time I'll ask permission to use a name instead of just the story.) But you guys are really cute thinking you were such difficult clients! lol YOU crack me up!

Rhonda and Katie

If you're familiar with Byron Katie's Work, you may have wondered how (or whether) the Inquiry process works with the Law of Attraction.

I myself use Katie's process personally and with clients as a tool for releasing thoughts that keep us stuck in a vibrational pattern that doesn't serve. (If you're not familiar with her questions, it's basically to question your painful thought with 1) is it true? 2) can you know that it's true? 3) how do you feel when you think that thought? and 4) who would you be if you couldn't think that thought?)

Katie's recent post about the Secret is more focused on the movie than the Law of Attraction itself, it seems. But it inspired me to offer my two cents' worth on how the Work and LOA fit together.

Along with Sedona Method, EFT, ho'oponopono and various other release techniques, I believe The Work has the potential to help us free ourselves from thoughts that generate lower vibrations within us. As we use whatever technique best suits us to release these negative thoughts, we can more easily embrace thoughts (i.e. a new vibration) more in alignment with the good things we've been wanting.

I'm wondering if Katie doesn't do a lot of deliberate creation, because she's more focused on accepting reality than creating it. As Abraham would say, there is great power in making peace with what is, but that seems to me just the first step. So much more is possible for us when we embrace our creative powers!!

Yes, the habit of not fighting against reality is surely a peaceful one. And THEN ... I'm going to usher in a reality that really floats my boat. I mean, I am. I don't know what anyone else wants to do - but that's where I'm headed next. And that doesn't mean I don't accept reality. It just means I have fun molding it, all the while perfectly accepting (okay, not perfectly - but that's where Katie's help comes in) what is present now.

I think Rhonda and Katie make a pretty good combination.

And I'm open (as Katie might say) to other perspectives. Your thoughts?

Sweeties Who Contra-Manifest

My sweetie thinks I tend to make him look bad when I write about him, so he deserves a mention for the mini-miracle he pulled off Friday night. He was 2 and a half hours late for our dinner/movie date because he decided to get 18 rounds of golf in after work.

Is it 18 rounds? Or is one round 18 holes? I don't know.

Anyway - he was late. Significantly late. He prepped me for it, told me hours in advance, but I was still a little .. mm, put off. (Now if I were writing about HIM, I might use stronger languaging about how mad he would have been. But it's me, so I'm calling it just a mild "put off." Which I think is mostly accurate. Sort of.)

By the time he showed up, I KNEW the restaurants would be busy (30 minute waits are typical in downtown Salt Lake on Fridays & Saturdays) and I'm not a big fan of waiting. And I also KNEW the movie would be sold out because it was opening weekend, and a busy theater. So I knew we were screwed.

But look at this guy ignore me ...

He said it was going to be just FINE. In fact, HE knew that there would be reserved seating, so we could pick up movie tickets before we found a quick bite to eat.

Well sure, I said, we can get a quick bite to eat - we can grab some junk food in a heartbeat, but that's not what I had in mind for food. I wanted something healthier than that.

Plus, I said I wasn't so sure they had reserved seating at this theater.

So here I am counter-manifesting the good stuff he's trying to pull off. All because I'm put off that he's 2.5 hours late for our date.

Okay, let's face it, I was more than put off. I was ticked off and wanting to make it all worse to prove to him what a bad idea it is to be 2.5 hours late.

But he's doing a great job of ignoring me. He can see me being all kinds of contrary, but he's not giving up. He keeps his good vibe going.

(This is embarrassing! lol)

He does what he's seen me do plenty of times ... keeping attention on what he WANTS instead of what he DOESN'T want.

He reiterates, so Universe hears him loud and clear - and me too, that there WILL be reserved seating, and we'll easily find good food to eat before dinner.

Then we get stuck in a big long line of traffic to even pull into the complex. (For locals, we were headed to Gateway and got stuck in a line of traffic on the 4th South off ramp.)

So now I'm SURE our night is ruined. I hope that golf was worth it, buddy. Because now we have to pick between dinner or a movie - there's no way we can do both. And frankly, I was looking forward to both. My night's pretty much ruined, so that means his is too.

And I remind him, if he tries to take me to a movie without food in my stomach, I am going to be ORNERY by the end, because I am not a happy camper when I am hungry, which I am guaranteed to be by the end of this show. And there is nothing remotely healthy we can grab quick. So now what?

(Am I a fun date or what?!)

He's not phased. He's seen me do this enough times to know how this miracle stuff works.

He says out loud again: "We'll pick up reserved seating tickets, we'll find good food, it'll all work out perfectly." As we're stuck in a long line of s-l-o-w moving traffic.

When we finally pull in to parking, it's backed up even there, and he suggests I run out to buy the tickets while he parks. "I don't think so," I say, without even offering a reason. (Normally, I'm the antsy one jumping out before he even slows down to score tickets before it sells out. But I'm being contrary tonight.)

That would bring most men right to my level (BAD mood) in a hurry. But not this guy.

Long story short, too late for that perhaps - but turns out the seating is not only reserved, but we get our choice of prime time seats. I pick out my favorite place to sit - two thirds up and right in the center.

"I told you they'd have reserve seating," he whispers sweetly to me. He doesn't even rub it in. Well, let's see him pull off the food miracle.

Which he did. CPK had a line out the door and no seating at the bar, but Rumbi's had NO line and open tables. And I like the veggie & tofu bowl with brown rice and Bali Island sauce. Which I haven't had in a while. I order the chocolate cake to go with it. That helps my mood in a hurry.

We enjoyed a leisurely fairly healthy dinner (at least mine was - yes, chocolate is healthy in MY world) - and had enough time before the previews even started for my date to point out how everything worked out just fine, despite my lack of cooperation.

You're right, honey. You are a Miracle Manifestor. Maybe next time you can manifest getting your golf in AND being on time for our date. : )


OR, maybe the bigger miracle could be ME not getting phased because you're late due to golfing, or at least getting on board with a good night when I've got such good help to make it happen. Sure do love you. : )

Dad's Miracle Diet

So my dad stopped by this afternoon after returning from his trip to Oregon, and mentioned that although he gained a few pounds while away, they were quickly dropping as he returned to his regular diet. (Basically high protein and low sugar.) He thinks he's found the answer to maintaining ideal weight - a high protein diet.

I mentioned that his high protein diet works because he believes it works. It isn't the protein or the low sugar that's magic, it's HIM that's magic. When we do what we believe will work, we're golden!

Which he proved by adding that mom's also losing weight on HER eating plan, which is basically the exact opposite of his. (Lots of fruit and veggies.) It's working for her because she believed it would (or might).

Knowing this gives us two options: we can either check in on our current beliefs and do what's in alignment with them, OR we can adjust our beliefs to match our current actions - to get the results we want.

For example, if I believed my daily chocolate habit was keeping me from my ideal weight, then I could either give up chocolate OR I could adjust my belief. (Years ago I went with the latter. Chocolate is worth the effort to adjust my belief system - at least it is for ME.)

So are you acting in alignment with your beliefs? Not just on the topic of health, but in all areas of life? It might be a big clue as to where you can tweak things and get immediate results.

Like, if I believed I needed a hot shot resume in order to get the job I've got my eye on, I could either go to work on putting that resume together, OR I could adjust my belief that a great resume is required to get the position.

If I believed I had to give up my habit of independence in order to experience a successful relationship, then I can either change my independent ways, OR I could adopt a belief that independence and a fabulous relationship actually go GREAT together. Right?

I'd love to hear your experiences on this topic so others can benefit from what you've learned and experienced as well!

PS - I gotta congratulate Dad on finding his way to a belief about exercise that I really admire. He studies under some former Mr. America who promotes a 12 minute daily exercise routing to stay in tip top shape. 12 minutes?! Now THAT'S a belief headed in the right direction, if you ask me! lol