Manifesting Space

Last week between client sessions I had a quick minute to post an article online (it was on Thought Vs. Action, if you'd like a look-see) before I ran to a couple different stores for people food, dog food, cat food and paper. As I was driving along trying to decide what I had time for, what was most important and thinking of the article that didn't get properly edited, I felt tension creeping in.

Awareness of the tension was my red flag to release it and remember all is well. No need to be tense. But it kept creeping back in. Three times I remember consciously releasing tension, before I finally checked in as to where it was coming from. A general feeling of being rushed was behind it.

By then I'd kind of lost patience with myself. After all, I had work to do.

So we get to the first store (the dogs came with), pick up the dog and cat food along with a couple treats, no time to chat with the owner, barely time to pet the store chihuauhua on the way out.

We're on the road again and I'm deciding what I have time for next. Paper or people food, I don't have time for both. It probably has to be paper cause that'll be quicker. And I better not get distracted by any fun colored stuff - because I know I have a tendency to be drawn to colored paper, pens, folders .. it's like a magnet. No time for fun, though. We have to be efficient!

Which is the thought I was holding when my cute little car got slammed in the rear end by a woman who didn't know the rest of us were stopped.

Now, I haven't been in an accident since I was 18 (when I was also rear-ended by a girl watching cute boys on the corner). That's over 20 years of a virtually perfect driving record. This is something that simply doesn't happen to me.

And here it was happening to me. Deep breath. New priorities. Everyone okay? Yeah. Two sheriffs and a tow truck driver saw it happen and were on the scene immediately. The woman who hit us was very nice. Luckily enough I didn't hit the car in front of me, and no one hit her. Both cars were driveable (after cute tow truck guy pulled my bumper off the rear tire).

We took care of business and I headed home late for my next client session. Before my next one started, I had 15 minutes to reflect.

What had I been feeling that put me in alignment with a wreck? Albeit a very minor wreck that actually wasn't that bad an experience, it still isn't the sort of thing I thought I was lined up with.

I remember feeling tension on the drive and trying to release it several times. I realized the tension came from trying to do too much in too little time, and the thought came up that I "need more space in my life."

More space, indeed. That's exactly what the other driver got cited for not allowing between our cars. I need more space. More breathing room. I'm cramming too much in. I need to relax in lots of ways - errands, client work, in myself.

So that was my "thank you, Universe" moment where I could see the gift of my fender bender. A message that I couldn't ignore to take this space thing seriously. I've been talking to my coach about it for a while now, and only made superficial improvements. Time to show I mean business.

You better believe next time I walk through the dog food store I'm going to hear all about the owner's fun weekend, pet the store dog AND store cat before I go. I'm indulging my "feel good" at the office supply store next time, shopping for whatever I'm drawn to. I'll remember there's always plenty of time for everything important, and I'll also appreciate all the drivers who keep their safe distance.

I'm also newly committed to keeping a smaller client roster and booking more "me" time in every day - not just every week.

I share that here because I know as I say so, I'm much more likely to live up to it. Thank you for hearing me.

If anyone has any messages from the Universe you care to share with the rest of us so we don't have to get slammed in our own rear end, I welcome hearing them!

Lessons from Storm Chasing

Oh my gosh, I just got hooked into watching four straight hours of Storm Chasers on Discovery Channel, where three teams of experts spent six weeks of prime time tornado season trying to place themselves in harm's way to gather data and capture never before seen footage of tornadoes.

Although the researchers were able to gather data here and there in narrow misses with various storms, the filmmaker needed to experience a direct tornado "intercept" in order to get the shot he wanted.

You can imagine how tricky it is to predict where a tornado will travel, in order to place your reinforced tank on a road in perfect timing to get in the middle of the action.

Day after day these teams chase various promising storm systems, and day after day they come up empty. After six weeks of narrow misses, their morale is taking a big toll. On the LAST day of storm season, they head out with little energy for the project that they were once so enthusiastic about.

What really got my attention was on the start of their last desperate morning, the filmmaker walks his crew through a visualization of encountering a tornado. He asks them to imagine a beautifully forming storm system, dark clouds, a nice funnel, debris collecting underneath, winds picking up speed ... all indications of conditions for the much-anticipated tornado interception.

(I was wondering when they would use their creative powers to get what they wanted!)

Long story short, they FINALLY, after six weeks of chasing storms, actually experience a direct intercept. They got their very cool TIV (tornado intercept vehicle) in the right place at the right time and the tornado passes directly over them.

Mission accomplished? Almost. Although they intercepted the tornado (actually two in one day, after six weeks of NOTHING!), it wasn't the dramatic film experience they were after.

Their story offered a couple learning opportunities:

1 - PERSISTENCE. These guys didn't quit. Without a lot to go on, and even though they were running on fumes at the end, they stayed committed to their dream. The filmmaker had been chasing storms for over eight years, and this was the closest he'd been. Although he didn't get his "money shot," he said he'll gear up for next year, and the year after that, and the year after that if he has to.

How often do we give up before we get what we want? Universe rewards commitment.

2 - ACCURATE TARGET. Their visualization was great for conjuring up a tornado and putting them in the right place at the right time. But what they really wanted, apparently, was to also get impressive film footage of it. All they got on this last day was dusty frames of a lot of debris being blown about. Not exactly what they wanted. Maybe their next visualization will include THAT last part, I hope.

How often have we done the same thing? Thinking we're locked on exactly what we want, only to discover after getting it that we left something key out. I know I have.

So here's what my four hours of goofing off with Discovery Channel lent me tonight. Let's make sure we're clear about what we truly want up front, call in our manifesting powers early on in our endeavor (rather than after we get desperate), and remember our commitment throughout the journey.

With that being said, I'm dedicating the rest of my weekend to a review of my business and personal goals, just to make sure they're complete and on target, and renewing my commitment if I find it's lapsed at all.

Happy weekend, everyone!

How to Get Paid Using Law of Attraction

Someone owes you money or is slow to pay? While it's easy to blame the other for the situation, that energy isn't likely to help you get the money you're due. Use the Law of Attraction to let the payday in.

First of all, it couldn't have happened if you weren't aligned to it. You played a role in this co-creation. That doesn't make you bad or wrong, it just is what it is. Don't use it as a reason to feel bad, but rather as a way to lift resentment that might be present toward the debtor. After all, they're the ones that got sucked into your "I didn't get paid" or "I got shafted" vibe. (Maybe they deserve some sympathy too, huh?)

How to remedy the circumstances so the money's flowing in? Simple: shift the energy. Specifically, shift YOUR energy. You've got to change how you feel before you can get what you want.

There are a variety of ways we feel when someone's not giving us what we think we earned: upset, angry, resentful, fearful, victimized, resigned, ungrateful, etc. And we know what that energy attracts, right? More reason to feel that way. So that doesn't work.

We've all been down that road to know it.

Before someone can pay us, we have to feel a way that's aligned to that result. Which could be a variety of feelings - different for each of us. For me personally, getting paid what someone owes feels like relief. Relief of those bad feelings I was trying not to flow while they owed me money!

The work is to feel this way BEFORE they pay you. I know it can be tricky, but think of it as good deliberate creation practice. They're giving you an opportunity to flex your manifesting muscle! It helps to find new thoughts that allow for new feelings. Get creative in finding which ones work for you.

While I'm noticing someone still owes me money, and growing more irritated with every week that passes without payment, or even word from them that they intend to pay, I'm flowing energy that keeps that payday in the future. In this way I'm responsible for the delayed payment.

To bring that payday to the present, I have to feel NOW how I would feel then. So I can practice feelings of relief; that "FINALLY!" feeling. I imagine the feeling of a clean slate again. Maybe running "It's about TIME!" through my head or "Thank GOD" I can give this up now.

As I give this up NOW, I open the door to getting paid.

Also, as you flow this newly aligned vibration, check in on whether it feels good to take any particular action. Like sending a reminder invoice, making a call, or asking them to sign a promissory note.

If you take any action, make sure it feels good and do it with the feel good "I just got paid" or at least "I'm on way to being paid" energy - not the "pissed off I'm still not paid" energy. It makes all the difference in the world!

It also helps to release your attachment to receiving the money. If you find your way to knowing you'll be fine either way, that helps let the money in too. Easier said than done, I know, but it works if you can get there. (You have to really mean it for it to work, not just saying the words. The Universe knows the difference.)

I've had luck in the past with this forgiveness exercise that Connie Domino's "Develop Irresistible Attraction" offered from Catherine Ponder:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder

Holding the person you wish to forgive in your mind, state your affirmation of forgiveness something like this:

“I forgive you completely and freely, I loose you and let you go. So, as far as I’m concerned, the incident that happened between us is finished forever. I wish the best for you, I wish for you your highest good, and I hold you in the light. I am free and you are free, and all again is well between us. Peace be with you.”

You might have to read it a time or two before you feel a shift, but stick with it. That shift is what releases your attachment to getting paid, which is very likely exactly what allows you to let the money in.

I myself am having a hard time on releasing attachment to a particularly large sum that I'm owed (not by a client), so I know getting to forgiveness is easier said than done. And if it doesn't feel good to go there, don't! We know how this works ... find your feel good wherever it is, and that's what'll let the money in.

Here's to a happy payday for us all!

Liberate from Limiting Beliefs

How many of us are carrying limiting beliefs? In my experience, virtually everyone. (Hey, is that another one? They're everywhere!)

The more important question is not so much do you have limiting beliefs (since we all do), but do you know what they are? What are the thoughts that keep you from getting what you want? And what are you doing with those thoughts/beliefs?

Last week Martha Beck shared with me her belief that the reason most western approaches fail (whether in medicine or therapeutic counseling) is that we try to add in the solution before we subtract out the problem.

Not everyone would agree on that; but when you're talking to Oprah's life coach who pretty much only works with royalty and celebrities, you don't argue. (At $350 an hour, you just pay attention!)

Martha tells me that our work is to identify and dissolve the "crap" beliefs (her technical term). She walked me through her process to show how it works. It was such a simple and cool procedure I wanted to share it so you could do the same:

1. Look at an area of dissatisfaction in your personal life. Underneath every dissatisfaction is a false belief. If something's making us unhappy, it's because we're believing a lie.

Here was my dissatisfaction: my boyfriend doesn't like it when Joe sits on the couch. (Joe being my 74 pound pit bull sweetheart.)

2. Ask why that's a problem. And then repeat that question four more times or so. Eventually you'll get to a core belief that's the source of your struggle. (Coaches come in handy here, because if you get slippery on yourself a coach won't let you squirm or get away with an "I don't know.")

My answers to the "whys" went something like: if we have animal conflict, this relationship is in trouble. Why is that a problem? Because I don't want my relationship to be in trouble. Why is that a problem? Because if I can't make it work with him, I can't make it work with anyone.

That's when Martha called my thinking "retarded" (I love her!) and asked if I could see my false belief. "If I can't make it work with him, I can't make it work with anyone."

Yeah, I could see the problems that thought could create. Well, were creating. The choices that belief gave me were to either make it work or resign myself to being single. And what good can come from having that kind of pressure? Not a lot.

Your limiting beliefs are likely just as entertaining and ridiculous, and you know I'd love to hear them! Please post them as comments here if you care to share!

Now you know your limiting belief, how do you liberate yourself from it? If you've got a tough one I recommend Byron Katie's Work.

Katie's inquiry process can be a bit long, so here's a shortcut that can also be very effective: simply name 3 reasons why you know it's not true.

As you name those reasons you know it's not true, you're creating new neural pathways and rewiring your brain. Literally breaking the bonds that old thought had on your grey matter!

Three reasons I know it's not true that if I can't make it work with Russ I can't make work with anyone? Martha actually made me name nine because I hesitated - so I won't repeat them here. But naming the reasons (I actually would love you to say them out loud) is crucial to liberating yourself from that old stinker of a belief.

Here's to your new found freedom from whatever's standing in the way of what you want!

PS - when you're ready to "add in the solution" - try Psych-K for rewriting new beliefs. I love this technique for its immediacy!

Got Bad Feelings?

One of the most asked questions I get from LOA savvy folks are what to do with negative feelings. We know we get what we vibrate, so if we're immersed in something negative, how do we get out of it?

Answer: stop trying to get out of it.

Feel your feelings.

They're not as scary as they might seem.

I'm not saying revel in them, or stay stuck in them. I'm just saying we aren't going to be able to avoid feeling them by ignoring them or wishing them away. It's okay to feel them. That's actually a rich part of the human experience, don't you think?

You're irritated at your sister for changing the family's holiday plans? That's okay. Be irritated. So what? Once you let yourself be irritated, it's much easier to get over it. It's trying NOT to be irritated that keeps you stuck in it.

You're mad at the boss for shortchanging you on the raise he promised? It is what it is. If you're mad, be mad. And then you'll be able to leave mad behind sooner rather than later.

It's not that you approach your less-than-fabulous feelings with the AGENDA of ridding yourself of them, rather that's just a beautiful side benefit that those negative feelings are more easily released after you accept them.

Weird, huh?

Well, it's not that weird. What we resist, persists. So don't be afraid of your negative emotions.

When I let myself entertain thoughts of revenge against that neighbor I struggled for weeks with, that actually felt better. (A LOT better. It feels awful to feel powerless, but revenge - now that gave me access to feelings of power again.) That feeling of revenge eventually gave me access to choose other feelings, like peace and appreciation. But if I had sworn off all negative feelings - oh man, I hate to think where I'd still be with him.

Where does deliberate creation fit in all this? In our conscious choice to feel what we feel. And then making deliberate movement up the emotional scale as we're ready to.

When I had Shadow euthanized, I felt sad. I didn't try talking myself out of it, although I did remind myself I didn't need to be sad for him. I let myself be sad for me. It's amazing how much more quickly I move through grief now that I know to let myself feel it. Instead of trying to pretend it's okay or wishing the pain away or doing everything possible to avoid thoughts of my favorite cat, I just feel sad.

So I felt sad.

And then ... I didn't.

Instead of dealing with buried grief that I'm afraid would just bring me more things to grieve over, I honored what I felt. That allowed me to move on to appreciation and love for what great company he was for those 18.5 years. As I find my way to thoughts that feel better, I welcome those. No need to dwell in something that doesn't feel great when there are other options available.

But until those other options become available - in fact, what ALLOWS them to become available - is feeling what's up for you now.

So here's to your fabulous feelings, including the revenge and anger and despair and all the other wicked ones. Let go of your judgment and fear of them, and enjoy playing with the full deck.

(Unless of course judgment or fear is what's up for you. ha In that case, enjoy them too!)

Cool Money Class

Is it just me, or does this look like one of the coolest teleclasses on Money you've ever seen?

Make Peace With Your Finances (4 week telecourse)

Here's the course summary:

You will learn techniques to release your old beliefs about money (i.e. money is scarce) and open up to your true abundance. Simply by changing your old patterns, you will begin to remove the fear, greed, and anger that contaminate the energy of money and replace them with love, joy, abundance and goodwill. In so doing you will find peace in your finances and joy in your life.

I am NOT receiving referral fees or commissions for promoting the class (I'm a paid participant myself); I don't even know Barbara Wilder. It's also rare for me to promote someone else's work. I just thought it sounded like a good time to get in the energy of someone who sees money for what it is: ENERGY!

I don't hear too many people talking about money like this, and I firmly believe this kind of shift in thinking about money is what allows it to flow in abundance, so I wanted to share this opportunity with those who might be interested.

Since I won't be offering my "Change Your Money Vibe" course until early next year (and it's much more expensive than this one), I thought I'd let those who want immediate financial help know about this call. Here's the link one more time: http://joyandsuccess.com/seminars/BWilder_class.html

Happy November, everyone!

Entertaining Emotional Guidance

I received this entertaining email from a friend and former client, but it was her comment at the end of the note that made me burst out laughing.

"To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife

P.S. Your girlfriend called."

The way the email goes, you read the love note first, THEN see the photo, and then the PS about the girlfriend. (This program only allows me to put photos at the top, so I couldn't do it real justice.)

But my friend's note at the end made me proud that my message of always seeking the downstream action had gotten through. Her words:

Before she got into the truck, she asked herself,
"what would feel better?" . . .

Indeed! lol Sometimes the "feel better" action may very well result in something that looks like the above photo. Lord knows I've been there!

Which is why no one else can give us direction as good as we can give ourselves.

Checking within about what feels best offers us expert guidance.

We hear Abraham say all the time that our tendency to shun anger sometimes keeps us from climbing up the emotional scale. Although it doesn't necessarily feel good to stay in the angry vibe for lengthy periods, sometimes it's exactly the bridge we need in order to get to higher vibrations.

And that's as much as I'll say about that. For now, anyway. :)

It's Not You, (Really) It's Me

Holy Hannah - sometimes I freak myself out! I just flipped through my notebook for a client quote to include in this new post I was going to write, and happened to run across the list I made a few months ago of what I wanted in my next web developer.

I just now realized the person I hired last month is all that AND a bag of chips!! I mean, to read this page and a half list of traits including:

• personable
• so knowledgeable
• great reputation
• very responsive
• proactive
• supportive
• tactful
• great new ideas
• 'gets' me
• loves animals
• refers perfect clients my way
• teaches me
• gives extra value
• is fun to work with
• easy to understand
• goes the extra mile
• appreciates my business

... I mean I go on and on. You'd think I was ordering up the impossible!! Or at least the very unlikely!

But here she is in real living life - working on MY site & blog. (& ecourse. I'm getting her in on that ecourse someday, too.)

I got exactly what I wanted. It's freaky! Even after all this time, it still amazes me how we get just what we ask for. In REALLY strange ways!! (If she gives me the good word to share her contact info, I'm all over it.)

WOW.

I had one majorly screwed up vibe on web people for a while. After my fourth service provider, I realized - hello - it's not them; it's me. So before I hired my fifth person I knew I had some cleaning up to do.

Which I've been aware of all year long. I was easy on myself for this work. I didn't require overnight change; rather gave myself plenty of time to develop a new expectation and thought pattern about web people.

Which is also why my site doesn't give a link to this blog - that's how long I've been out a web person.

(What are they really called? It's probably not "web person." Sorry, web people! Web designer? Web maintainer? Web expert? I don't know.)

Anyway, I'm officially proclaiming myself free and clear of that old vibe, and LOVING the new one I've got going!! WOO HOO!!

Does that mean everything will go perfectly from here on out? Well, probably, but I'm not going to be flustered if it doesn't. Sometimes there are bumps in the road; that's fine, it won't cause me careening off the path if we hit one.

Okay, I'll get back to the post I was really going to type up.

Before I go, let me ask what vibe are you cleaning up? Have you got one that consistently delivers what you don't want? Maybe you get incompetent wait service or ..

... oh, stop me now! lol ... I was just about to list a whole bunch of possibilities of what we might have bad vibes on. (No need to activate THAT.)

You are spared!

Bottom line, if you've got a subject that consistently brings trauma or drama to your life, consider perhaps it's not them - but rather your vibe that's responsible. Let them off the hook, clean up your vibe, and move on to the good stuff. It's all waiting there for us when we just take the time to get aligned. : )