June 29, 2007

Vegas Wedding!

In March my dear friend, Peggy, was at the end of her romantic rope. In the two years since her divorce she'd met 41 men, none of whom worked out for her. She wasn't asking a lot, and she sure wasn't getting it, either.

I remember the conversation where she told me she was throwing in the towel. She was done with the disappointments, the letdowns and the tears. She was giving up - not forever, she said, but for a while, at least. She'd been hurt too many times.

Three weeks ago she invited me to her upcoming Vegas wedding.


Let's look at that timeline again. She gets divorced, is intent on finding the romance that was missing in all those years of marriage (I think it was over 12), spends two years looking for it. (And she wasn't looking with an "easy eye" out for it, she was hunting it down!)

The entire time it eludes her and she has mostly miserable experiences with new men. After the "last straw," she throws in the towel. "That's it," she declares. "I'm done!"

Within a week she gets an email from a guy on an online dating site that she was letting her membership expire on. She tells him she's done. He persists. She doesn't even have the energy to argue with him. She meets him just to get it over with so he'll leave her alone. (Because she can tell from his profile that he's not her knight in shining armor.) That was late March.

They're getting married on August 4th. And this guy .. wow! What a keeper!!! He reminds me of Sam Elliott, with an absolute heart of gold. And he treats her like a queen.

I laughed with her today: "If I would have told you in early March that you'd be married by fall, would you have believed me?" Absolutely not, she said!!

How does this happen?

People who don't understand law of attraction might say this is an example proving that LOA doesn't work. She wants it, doesn't get it. She gives up, and THEN she gets it?! How is that "like attracting like"?

But those who understand LOA - especially the concept of resistance and allowing - can easily see how a Romeo couldn't come into Peggy's life until she threw in the towel. (Or at least released her iron clad grip on it.)

Peggy was VERY attached to having a new guy in her life. She'd lived without love and romance for long enough, in her opinion (those of my clients who have been coached by me to practice self love can hear me biting my tongue on that one, right?) - anyway, she was beyond bound and determined to have this thing. She was desperate for it. Her life did not work without a love partner. And she was going to find him.

Can you feel that energy? If you were on the other end of the phone with her, trust me, it would be unmistakably "attached." And you know what that means, right?

There was no ease or allowing present.

Until she gave up.

Then, voila!! The floodgates were open!!

It's not my favorite way to get to allowing, but it sure is a common way. lol

I've done it myself.

Anyway, I'm just so smiling at how quickly things can turn around after we thought all was lost. Isn't it beautiful how our vibrational escrow can come swooshing in so fast?! When we LET IT?!

Amen to that.

And congrats, Peggy. You deserve all the happinesses in the world! (As do we all.)

June 26, 2007

Rampage of Appreciation

Referencing the June 26 edition of "Get What You Want" ezine (sign up at http://www.goodvibecoach.com/ if you're not already receiving it):

We don't need vacations or special occasions to acknowledge our favorite moments in life. They're right here, in every day, when we look for them. What was your favorite moment today? Give a nod of thanks to the Universe by posting your comment here.

Mine was when my feral foster cat meowed at me as I walked in her room; she actually approached me with interest (this is a BIG change in behavior!), and didn't run away when I stretched my hand out to her. I think she and I are going to be friends one day. That was my favorite moment today. Friends with a feral cat. I liked it. ; )

June 23, 2007

Breathe When It's Light

After all these posts about the river trip, are you starting to feel like you were there? I hope so! My intention is to give you the benefits of being there, so thanks for indulging me while I dwell on it! : )

When Lorenzo finished his safety speech on day 2, he asked Brie (my hero) if he'd forgotten anything. She piped in with one of my favorites of the whole trip: "Breathe when it's light, not when it's dark."

"Breathe when it's light, not when it's dark" ... ?

Who needs to be reminded when to breathe?

Sounds simple, but all three guides assured us it's easy to get confused when you've been tossed about by class 5 rapids. If it's dark, you're under water. Don't breathe then. Wait till it's light. That's when you'll take in oxygen instead of water.

Brie said it was those words from Lorenzo, drilled into her head, that saved her on a particularly tumultuous ride. She was ejected from the raft, disoriented and scared, and his simple mantra: "Breathe when it's light, not when it's dark" came to mind. It's what kept her from breathing a mouthful of churning river water into her lungs.

Those mantras! Don't you just love 'em?! Our anchor when we would otherwise drift. They can be lifesavers when we remember to use them.

Lorenzo's mom, a third grade teacher for 20 plus years, told him the best way to teach was through repetition. So he not only repeated those words several times to us during each speech, but gave the safety speech several times throughout the trip. Ha!
Since his responsibility was to keep us safe, he gave us instruction we could hold on to when times got tough.

The mantra I use that keeps me on track most is "Nothing is more important than that I feel good." (Got that from Wayne Dyer at a Louise Hay event, and again on his PBS special. I suspect he picked it up from Abraham, but it was Wayne that I heard it from first. I repeat those words to myself with the same conviction he had.)

I'm also a fan of memorizing top core values, so whenever it feels like I'm straying from my"self," I remember "Connection, Authenticity, Nature, Freedom." With that in mind, I can't get too far from who I am.

What are your life-saving words? What keeps you grounded and on track? If you don't already have a phrase, affirmation or mantra that works for you, keep you ears open for one that inspires you. It comes in handy when the river gets choppy and life gets scary.

June 19, 2007

Woman's Best Friend?

At the campfire last week a couple of us girls were chatting about how much we loved our dogs. We went on and on about how much we spoiled them, and what joy they brought to our lives. One of the gals said when her brother-in-law ran over her dog she didn't talk to him for a year and it caused a separation in her marriage because she was so traumatized.

A few of us said there was no amount of money that was too much money to invest in our dog's health. (Apparently I'm not the only one who's used a home equity line for expensive surgeries.)

After a few minutes of this, one of the guys said something like, "Sheesh! To be a dog!"

I retorted that if guys were as good to us as our dogs were, then we would treat our men that well too.

Can you see where this was going? I sure didn't ...

He retorted back, "If you treated us guys like you treat your dogs, we WOULD be that good to you!"

Why hadn't I thought of that? lol

He's probably right.

My sweetie piped in with, "Yeah, every time Joe rolls on his back he gets a first class belly rub." I immediately realized how widespread it was: the dogs keep me awake at night, but that's okay because they're dogs. If Russ, on the other hand, keeps me up with snoring, that's not cool. My dogs never run out of food. People food, though, I'm not nearly as intent on keeping on hand. If my boyfriend goes hungry, so what? He can eat tomorrow if he didn't pick something up on his way over. I ran out of his favorite drink? Oh well.


What have I been creating?? lol

I wonder how it would work if I treated my guy like a king? If he knew he could do no wrong in my eyes?

Okay, that's just crazy talk!

lol But, I'm willing to experiment. Maybe I'll start treating my boyfriend like my dog. Just to see what happens.

Jeez, this is going to be weird. I let him sit wherever he wants. I don't run the vacuum until he vacates the area. I go out of my way to have all his favorite treats on hand. I make sure he gets plenty of play dates with friends. I take him to do what he loves most. I tell him all the time how much I love him, even if he can't hear me or doesn't answer back. I hardly ever get mad at him, because he just doesn't know any better. I let him distract me from my work. I let him break a few house rules. I'm basically here just to support and enhance his enjoyment of life.

Wow, I'm starting to sound like a pretty good girlfriend, huh?

June 18, 2007

Zo Life Wisdom

River raft trip leader Lorenzo (known as "Zo" by everyone on the river), said there are three key things to remember in the rapids:

  1. Don't panic
  2. Hold on
  3. Have fun
Here's how that goes:

When we're in the boat in the rapids, first of all, don't panic. Some people do. He told us not to. It doesn't enhance enjoyment for anyone. Second, hold on. It keeps you in the boat, having a safe ride. Last, have fun - that's what we're here for, after all!

Zo said if we forget the second instruction, and we let go, and are ejected from the boat, same 3 things apply:

Remember, don't panic. (From an LOA perspective, I'm sure that first instruction could be better worded. But, in the heat of the moment, it probably works.)

You're out of the boat. Don't panic. It's okay. Keep your head, maintain your cool. Everything's fine.

That's good instruction in life, too, isn't it? You lost your job. It's okay! Your girlfriend broke off the engagement. You'll be fine! The doctor just gave you a diagnosis that doesn't sound good. Don't panic. It all works out.

Second instruction: hold on. Lorenzo told us to hold on to our life jacket, it'll keep our head above water. Air is good.

This makes sense in life, too: hold on. You know what works for you in life, right? Hold on to that. Whether it's your watercolor hobby, your workouts that keep you sane, yoga that keeps you grounded, your Starbucks latte that makes life worth living. Hold on to what's working for you.

Third instruction: have fun. You're in the water, and you're in the rapids. And you're in for the ride of your life!! Enjoy!

When it seems like life's going to hell in a handbasket, have some fun! lol There's something to enjoy here, I'm positive. Look for it, and appreciate it. When my beloved best friend retriever Sophie died last year, right on the heels of losing my even bigger best friend chow Kita, I took a deep breath and fostered some puppies. (Two of whom are my newest family members.)

When my guy makes his exit, I get to flirt with strange men again! When the boss tried to fire me, I relished the thought of being free. It's what gave real life and inspiration to my fantasies of starting a coaching practice.

There's a way to enjoy the ride. When we have our attention pointed in that direction, it's inevitable that we will. So, remember to have fun! : )

Lorenzo, who thought I'd find my mentor on the river?

June 16, 2007

It's Okay

Just rolling into town after a four day river raft trip down Cataract Canyon on the Colorado River out of southern Utah. Wow! What an experience!!

As I get back to the computer to catch up on client emails, I wanted to share one of my favorite teachings from Trip Leader Lorenzo (aka "Zo").

We got our safety speech morning of day two, after floating flat water the prior day. It was chock full of life wisdom, which I can hardly wait to share - but my favorite was how we were guided to remember/realize that we are okay. Already. And always.

Our wise guide said if we end up in the water, the first thing he's going to do is make eye contact with us and ask the question "Are you okay?" Since we won't be able to hear each other (because the rapids are LOUD), he'll ask the question by patting the top of his head with his hand. "Are you okay?"

That's our cue to answer "Yes, I'm okay," which we also give by patting the top of our heads.

So he pats his head (asking, "Okay?") and I pat my head (answering affirmatively, "Okay").

Our guide went on to give us the distress signal, and some tips on when to use it.

He said if you've just been thrown out of the boat, and an oar hit you hard in the neck on your way out, and while under water you took on a mouthful of water and scraped your leg on the rope, which you're pretty sure is bleeding, and you're really really really scared, Lorenzo reminds us, "You're definitely, positively OKAY!"

The wisdom of this practically brings me to tears.

Even when you think it's bad, you're really okay. You're here! You're alive!! And you're now in for the ride of your life!! Because surely there's no better way to run the rapids than in your life vest!! Ha!! (I SO believe that!)

Lorenzo says that not only will our stories will be the best, but we'll also be up close and getting real familiar with Nature, in all her glory - and man, are WE OKAY!!! What could BE more okay??

I can't imagine!!

Why people run rapids ... it's clear to me now. The part where we just float on quiet, flat water ... ? That part is nice and peaceful and everything, but it gets kind of boring after a day or so.

Those rapids, though?! WOW! First time you hear those coming up around the corner!! Woo hoooo hooooooo!!!!!! Now THAT'S exciting!

It's the same reason we're here, living these lives, facing these challenges, isn't it? Getting our hearts broken, birthing our projects and our works of art, experiencing the full range of emotions from anger and joy and depression and revenge and hope and all the rest - living life full out!

Because it's FUN!!! We love it!! Even when we've been hit in the throat, and we're cold and not in the boat, and getting tossed about in the stream - which just wants to spit us back to the top to take another big breath for our next big ride anyway - even when it looks not so bad, guess what? We're OKAY!!!!

What could be better?

We picked a fabulous ride, didn't we?!

And we're okay. I'm okay. You're okay. We're here! Doing our thing!! Having the time of our lives!!

Wow, doesn't it just make you want to go climb something, fly somewhere, build something, or love someone?

It does me. And I'm sending that love to you. Along with the reminder that it's all okay.

I'm okay. You're okay.

And if I ever forget, I'll remember Zo patting his head, reminding me of it. I'm okay. He's okay. It's all okay.

Thank you, Lorenzo. : )

June 10, 2007

Crucial Message?

Columnist Barb Guy emailed an interesting query after reading about a Utah man's efforts to place posters reading "In God We Trust" in every classroom across the state.

Barb asks: "If you were the type to insist one crucial message be posted in each every classroom, what would your message be?" She's compiling results for her column, and her question inspired me to wonder what message I thought school age children would most benefit from.

Hmm. Fun one, huh?

I quickly landed on: "You create your world."

That's what I'd like to see kids reminded of. That they're in charge. That by choosing how they feel, they dramatically alter their life experience.

"You create your world."

They would learn no one else is to blame. That the answer lies within. And that anything is possible. As P'taah says: "Imagination and emotion is what creates your reality."

But then I realized that message would be better placed in workplaces across America, because adults could probably benefit more from being reminded of it than our children. : )

What message do you wish you'd had reinforced as a child in school? I'd be interested in hearing it.

June 8, 2007

What We Really Want

On the heels of exploring what we "need," I'm now thinking about "want" and the true essence of desire. What is it we really want?

I suspect we don't really want what we think we want. When we say we want a certain amount of money, or a particular number on the scale, or a loving partner in our life - that's not what we really want. Is it?

What we want, I believe, is the feeling we think that thing will give us.

Bottom line, we want to feel good. And we think having financial freedom or a beautiful body or true love - or whatever we set our sights on - will take us there.

Which it may. But it's not what we really want. Because if I got the guy and didn't enjoy it, I'd feel ripped off. If I landed financial freedom but didn't feel the high I thought that would bring, I'd be disappointed. If I reached my weight goal but still didn't feel good in this body - I missed the true target, right?

What if I cut out the "middle man" and went straight for the true essence of my desire: which I'm arguing is feeling good .. ? What would change?

Hmm. Maybe everything.

Maybe I'd stop focusing on creating a toned, swimsuit-ready body for this month's river trip, and instead relax and enjoy these weeks leading up to it more.

Maybe instead of working to get these rabbits adopted out, I'd appreciate having them here more than I am.

Maybe instead of straightening out my relationship and knowing where it's going and what it is, I'd just appreciate the quirks of it.

Seems like my "feel good" is strongly associated with appreciating "what is" now.


Kinda takes the pressure off. Feels kinda good.

I could be onto something here. : )

June 5, 2007

What Do You Need?

Fun question to explore, isn't it? "What do I need?"

What does it feel like to "need" something? Whether it's better sleep, someone to return our call, a dog to stop barking .. what does it feel like to "need" it?

Doesn't it feel like your peace of mind or happiness was put on hold while you entertain this energy of "needing"?

What if we didn't need anything? And where does the belief that we need anything come from?

Surely we don't. Like some things, sure. Desire lots of stuff, absolutely. But need it? I'm not convinced.

Even oxygen, water, food, shelter ... I mean, I don't really need those things, right? Because who I am isn't this body. My survival isn't at risk. Ever. At least, not who I REALLY am.

When I look at it in the calm moments, it's clear that the energy of "need" doesn't serve me. It prevents the 100% allowing energy to be present.

But I'll tell you what - when 3 o'clock rolls around and I'm out of chocolate, I may very well have a different perspective on what I (think I) need.

Maybe this afternoon I'll approach it differently. Maybe I'll recognize I don't need a seratonin fix; maybe I'll recognize I want one enough to go get it. And I can be peaceful in the process.

Hmm. Maybe. :)

June 4, 2007

How Easy Are You?

A lovely woman from area code 503 phoned me last week inquiring about coaching services. I told her I anticipated two open slots for June, but couldn't promise how long they'd last. (Since filled, fyi.)
She was committed to working together although she didn't have the extra money on hand right in that red hot moment. She took one of the open slots.

I knew from her commitment that it wouldn't be long before she did have money in hand. And she had exactly the type of energy I love to spend time with - open, trusting, and delightful.

I emailed her a Welcome Kit and some quick money manifesting exercises late Wednesday night. Thursday she read through the material and returned her completed workbook to me. Commitment! Universe likes that.

Friday she noticed an extra $0.07 coming into her world. She tallied it up, appreciated it and emailed me her success. Yay!

Saturday she got an unexpected $50. Sunday she ran across an extra $1. And counted it! Yay, my friend!! Thank you for not letting "small" discourage you! Thank you for using it as another reason to flow gratitude and excitement and anticipate more abundance!

Monday's mail brought her an unexpected check for over six thousand dollars. (And we haven't even had our first official session together.) She was so excited she screamed. Who wouldn't?!

That's exactly how this works when we let it be EASY.

How easy are YOU letting it be? Are you making it harder than it is? Remember that easy is waiting for you whenever you're ready for it.

And if you don't remember what easy feels like ... it's time to remember. Start looking and feeling for easy, and it'll come back to you. It was our natural state, once upon a sweet time. And it can be again. ; )

Looking at "Gone Wrong"

Does it serve us to look for why something went wrong? I suspect some would say it doesn't, because it keeps us stuck in the vibration of "gone wrong," but I think there may be occasions when it's helpful to understand where something came from in order to learn from and/or break loose from it.

I'm thinking of my former LOA coach who, when I asked why she was sick for three days straight, answered, "Don't know, don't care, movin' on." I was stumped that she would have been a match to severe sickness, and even more stumped that she wouldn't talk about it.

Then I realized it's because she didn't want to vibrate it any more. Duh.

But that approach doesn't always work for everyone in every situation. And is it possible we miss valuable info from it? I suspect so.

For example, I learned a lot from my temporarily disabled refrigerator and dryer over the last year. I got that info by asking "why?" When something's amiss in my body, one of my favorite exercises is asking the body part what message it has for me. I've gotten FABULOUS life direction from this little 5' 9" masterpiece of mine. That info also came from looking into "why?"

Looking at an ended relationship in hindsight gave me lots of good info, I think. Or did it keep me in "ended relationship" vibration? Man, maybe both!!

I just read about Greta's stolen car in June's Catalyst Magazine, and I'm sure there's something to be learned there as well. (May just be that her car took the vacation she was needing herself, which she did indeed award herself shortly thereafter.)

I'm also thinking of a dear friend who had a big presentation scheduled, and allowed himself to get completely sidetracked after experiencing a near miss accident the night before. The near miss shifted his focus so dramatically that he wasn't able to enjoy his successful presentation, and still wasn't himself days later. He's still talking about the accident that didn't happen, and although I started it - now he's talking about why he's talking about it.

So it seems to me there can be helpful information in looking at things "gone wrong," to a certain extent. We don't want to dwell in a vibration that represents a "don't want" longer than is useful. The question them becomes how much is useful?

Maybe it's possible to look at what happened without getting in the vibration of it. I mean, could I look at my ended relationship without vibrating "ended relationship"? Rather, vibrating "curious about events that transpired"? I think so.

But, I could be wrong. Guaranteed I'll be paying attention to the vibe next time I'm inspired to spend time analyzing something "gone wrong."