December 31, 2007

It's Happening

Something I used to be incredibly self-conscious about is that my right eyebrow and eyelashes are dark while my left eyebrow and eyelashes are blond. I've had them dyed since I was 13 years old.

(This is why I have virtually no pictures of myself - it's easy to spot the difference in photos for some reason.)

For most of my life, I went to one person to have my lashes & brows dyed. Every month for an hour and a half I would sit in my aesthetician's salon chair while she applied dye to make my lashes & brows appear normal.

Sometimes I wondered what would I do if it weren't for her. No one does as good a job as she does. No one gets the match quite right; no one else cares as much as she does. No one else makes me feel as beautiful.

And then she went to Europe for the summer. Which was potentially devastating, as I'd relied heavily on her to feel good about myself.

But then I met Renae. Who did an even better job than my original girl! I never dreamed it possible to improve on the service I was already receiving, but there it was. Even better than before! I wouldn't have thought it possible! But it was undeniable. Even better than before. How lucky am I?!

And now Renae has injured her shoulder and isn't working.

Instead of being devastated, this time I know there is another good surprise in store for me.

This is what I'm thinking of as I reflect on 2007 and look forward to 2008. This last year was amazing in so many ways, that I wouldn't think it possible to improve on. If I didn't already know better, that is. It really CAN get better! In fact, it DOES! That's how it works.

Three years ago when I was dating online every guy I met was even better than the last. It was surreal!! I don't think I stopped smiling the entire summer! I tell people all the time that I had so much fun that summer I'm sure it was illegal.

So I know it can get better than it already is - even when it's already fabulous. I also know that as I reflect on how wonderful it is, it can't HELP but get better. That's how the system works.

Life is already SO good, what more could I ask in this upcoming year? 2007 treated me very well ... I can't imagine what more to look forward to in 2008. But then I remember Renae.

And I remember life just keeps getting better.

Better and better.

Are you ready? Are you ready for it to get even better than it has been?

Because it's coming.

Actually, it's happening already. In every moment, it's getting better. Can you feel it?

It's happening now.

Here's to 2007, and 2008, and all the wonderful years ahead and behind us. Aren't we the lucky ones?!

See how your year was wonderful, and you're automatically a guaranteed shoe-in for another one. Namaste, my friends.

December 27, 2007

Got What You Wanted?

Okay, let's check in. Who got what they wanted for Christmas?

Were you pleased to see just what you wanted under the tree? Or do you even know what you wanted? Did you expect to get it? Did your loved ones have to guess, and did they guess right? Or did you not have anything in particular in mind?

It seems to me how we do Christmas could be symbolic of how we do life.

I was reflecting on how easily kids say what they want. They're not shy about telling us what they want; they make lists well in advance, and they get excited about the process. They also seem to be fairly successful at getting what they want. (I've never seen such ridiculous gift-giving to little people! They have more stuff than I do!)

But what do we adults do? "Ohhh, you don't have to get me anything." "Anything you pick will be fine, I'm sure." "Let's keep it to a minimum this year."

I want to learn to be as particular as my 11 year old friend, Alyson. She's covering all her bases, making sure everyone knows exactly what she wants, down to the color, flavor, size and model number. Anyone who has any vested interest in her gets a copy of her list. In that way, she takes responsibility for her own happiness and sets herself up for big success Christmas morning.

Are we as clear about what we want? Do we make it known to others? Do we expect good things, or are we just glad to get through it, harboring vaguely formed desires that leave us feeling inexplicably dissatisfied when they're unmet?

Although Christmas is over, it's never too late for us to get what we want. Year end is a great time to get more clear about our true desires, and to set ourselves up for success in experiencing them.

How does that work? Let's look to Alyson as an example:

1. She knows what she wants. Nothing wishy-washy from this girl like, "oh, you don't need to get me anything." In fact, you don't even have to ask her. She'll tell you! And she's paid attention all year long as to what would thrill and delight her. She knows how to ask big, and isn't afraid to do so. Gotta admire that.

2. She communicates those desires, and asks anyone who might be able to deliver to do so. She even goes through ads to find the best deals and makes sure the adult shoppers in her life know how easy it is to satisfy her. If she sees someone with one of her items, she'll ask where they got it and pass the info along.

3. She expects to get what she wants. She knows the people in her life love her and want to please her, and she does her chores and follows instructions so she knows the good stuff is coming. It's a given, in Alyson's mind, that she will enjoy her Christmas morning.

4. Best of all, when something isn't quite right, she doesn't throw a fit. She's grateful for what she gets, and that's what makes her such a pleasure to give to.

Some folks might think it's better to be unassuming and undemanding. I have been one of those folks on occasion. But I see Alyson's sense in asking big, being clear, having high expectations, and enjoying.

Who's ready to ask big in 2008? This is our year coming up, if you didn't already know. If ever there was a time to flex our asking and expecting muscle, this is it. Let your Alysons show you how its done if you don't already have this one mastered. : )

Thank you, Alysons of the world, for showing us how to let it be even better than we're used to expecting.

December 19, 2007

Big Duh Moment

Well, you gotta love coaches.

I just hung up with mine who gave me immediate homework of lying down. "Go lie down," she said.

Knowing full well I wouldn't be good at it, she told me to let my boyfriend get cable in my house (he's gonna love that), and also get TIVO.

(I'll lie down after I write this post. I'm pretty sure.)

My coach recommended watching "Intervention" on Lifetime. And decorating shows at night, where the biggest problems people encounter is that the tile doesn't fit quite right.

All right, I never had a coach insist that I watch tv. (And somewhat purposeless tv at that.) In fact, several friends and colleagues are a little righteous in saying they not only don't watch tv, but they don't even OWN one.
And now I have not only permission, but INSTRUCTION, to watch it guilt free. (I think I love her.)

She also told me to stop reading for growth, and start reading for pure fun and pleasure. Whatever entertains my brain. Not something to "work" at, master, or create more to-do lists with.

All this because I somehow didn't make the connection for myself in the ezine I just sent out (Eliminate the Middle Man).

I had told Martha about Lindsey the massage therapist who told me I was fueled by adrenalin and insulin and that my gallbladder was shot. I thought the adrenalin and insulin observation might be right. And then reading Martha's description of adrenal burnout on page 221 in "4 Day Win" was confirmation that my gas tank is approaching empty.

She asked what I do that contributes to burnout. I gave a typical daily example of how I roll out of bed, go straight to the office, turn on the computer, let dogs out while it boots up, then open emails to see what's happened during the night. After I get out of the shower (before I'm even dressed), I pop back in to check email and see what happened during the 15 minutes I was away. I sometimes don't even eat breakfast until 1. The UPS guy knows all my pajamas, because sometimes I skip the shower part.

"Yep, you're addicted," she said.

She asked what I was hoping to find in those emails I obsessively check. "What's the best thing that could happen there?" It took me a few minutes to articulate, but it was something along the lines of some really good news that would allow me to relax a little and take a break.

So Martha told me to eliminate the middle man. (And no, she doesn't read my ezine. Is this the Universe talking loud and clear or what?)

She told me take a break now. "Go lie down."

Eliminate the middle man? You mean the middle-man good news that allows me to bask in success for a moment so I can relax? You mean just relax now?

The thought brought tears to my eyes. Relax now? Watch tv? Read for fun?

I think I've died and gone to heaven.

And because my COACH is telling me this, I will do it. My ex-boyfriend, current boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, even dogs - no one else could get me to relax on that couch. But I'll listen to my coach.

You gotta love coaches, and the "big duh" moments they inspire.

All right, I'm off to lie down for a bit. :)

Eliminating the Middle Man

I sent this out in yesterday's "Get What You Want" ezine. Because it's related to a post I'm writing now, I thought it would be helpful to include it on the blog:

What do you want and why do you want it?

Take a moment to reflect on those two questions. What do you want, and why do you want it? Write both answers down if you've got pen & paper handy.

My work with clients has taught me that we much more easily know the answer to the first question than the second. But it's worth getting clear on, because author and coach Michael Neill says it's not the first thing we really want, it's the second.

What do you want and why do you want it?

Some might say "I want to find the perfect house because it will give me more peace." Or maybe, "I want to drop a couple pounds because I want to feel good about how I look." Or perhaps, "I want to reduce my work and increase my income because that will allow me to enjoy life more."

(Can you tell what's on my mind these days? Those are my personal favorites.)

I have to agree with Michael; no matter what it is we say we want, what we're really after is how we think that thing or experience or person is going to make us feel.

So what do you say we drop the middle man, huh? Let's go direct!

When we identify the real target we're much more likely to succeed. I mean, how many times have you (or someone you know) got the thing you thought you wanted, but afterwards felt let down or unfulfilled? Like, we drop ten pounds but once we get there, we just think we need to drop five more before we're satisfied? Or we get the relationship we said we wanted, but after the newness wears off we still feel empty inside? Or we achieve our career success, but instead of being thrilled we're just worn out?

That's because we were shooting for the first thing (what we want) when we really wanted the second (why we want it - i.e. the feeling we think it will give us).

Many of you have heard me talk about how in the corporate world I wanted to pay off my mortgage so I'd feel free to quit my miserable job. For three years I made triple house payments until I got that thing down to zero.

How did it feel making that last payment? Relief? Celebration? I wish. Actually, I felt nothing. Nada. Flat. Empty. It was surreal how I didn't feel anything at all. No freedom, no enjoyment, no accomplishment.

What was wrong with me? In hindsight, I realize what I really wanted was "freedom" and yet that wasn't the vibration I'd practiced at all. All my vibe knew was "slaving away" making triple payments. I didn't know at the time that I couldn't get anything other than what I was feeling - which was more like "trapped & lifeless" than "free & easy."

But I know better now. And I'm not falling for it again.

So my formal list of what I want this upcoming year looks more like this: love my life, love my body, love my animals, love my world, love my people.

Now don't get me wrong ... I have specific ideas about what that might look like. I imagine it will involve being more toned and fit, living with my boyfriend, and managing my workload better. But the reason I want those things is because I think that will allow me to love my life even more than I already do. For me, it boils down to "loving my life." That's my accurate target.

And I know enough about how this deliberate creation stuff works to know that the way to get there is to vibrate that now. Love my life now. That's my entire to-do list for the new year. As I feel that love for life now, not only do I get what I really truly want - but my life also gets even easier to love.

You gotta love how this system is set up, huh?!

December 12, 2007

Recommended Stocking Stuffers

If you're cutting Santa some slack this year and shopping for your own holiday treats, here are a few things I suspect you'll enjoy:

Zoe Routh picked the brains of ten of the best LOA coaches and made the total package available for less than $100. This is one of my favorite LOA products I've ever seen, and not just because I'm in it. Zoe's the real deal. She delivers profoundly, and also packs in oodles of delicious extras that will get your new year off to a nice start.

Check it out for yourself and note that the price goes up next Thursday. So if you're picking it up, do so before December 20th!

If you haven't already caught on to Jen Blackert's Fearless Millionaire teleseries, there are still two free days to take advantage of. She let me check out her new Seven Dragons book and I have to say, it reminded me why I am so drawn to this girl. She knows her stuff, and compiled a unique, insightful fun-to-read personal development book. Good job, Jen!

Other books I enjoyed this past year are:

The Intention Experiment for amping up left-brainers' belief about LOA.
How We Choose to Be Happy for nine steps to a good time.
4 Hour Work Week for blasting through old patterns of "business as usual."
Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer - I'm so in love with Gregg!
Emotional Options - Mandy's on to something here. It's short, sweet & powerful.
The Alchemist - what can I say? I just discovered it!
Eat, Pray, Love - thank you, Iyabo, for making me read this!
Notes from the Universe - Mike is my all time hero. My wish is that everyone has a copy of this for managing funky days.

For you business owners and coaches, I highly recommend Michael's Book Yourself Solid, Milana's Coaching Millions and of course, the business owner's bible for getting clients: Attracting Perfect Customers. (That and a pray rain journal is how I built a full coaching practice in three months.)

And if you just need a cheap laugh right now, check out 2 Hot Girls in the Shower on the Secret. Thanks, David. Who else could have sent me this?

Looking for good music? It doesn't get much more rewarding than Mark Romero's instrumental guitar. It's more than just good music. It is literally (scientifically proven, and I can vouch for it based on personal experience) vibe-raising. Mark's got a gift, no doubt about it.
Maybe custom made jewelry that serves as an LOA reminder is up your alley this season. The bracelet Barb made for me that reminds me to "Relax & Enjoy" is virtually the only jewelry I regularly wear. Still loving it, Barb!

What am I asking for this Christmas? Donations. I asked family and friends to put their money to work (toward a cause they deem worthy) in better ways than just buying more stuff, even if it is stuff for me. I like buying my own stuff, anyway - and ever since I watched Earthlings (purposely I'm not giving you the link to watch it online), I'm thinking if we invest where our passion is with the end result we want in mind, surely that's a step in the right direction.

If anyone has other ideas, I am open to hearing them! Namaste, friends.

PS - this just in: http://www.thenowwatch.com/ Pretty cool gift idea, especially in light of Eckhart's dog interview I posted earlier today!

We Knew It!

Eckhart Tolle included in his Winter 2007 newsletter the trascript from a recent interview he gave to Connie Wilson, editor of Modern Dog. I thought you dog lovers would also appreciate an excerpt of his perspective:

GUARDIANS of BEING
Our DOGS, our GUIDES:
an interview with spiritual teacher Eckhart Tolle

Modern Dog Publisher and Editor-in-Chief Connie Wilson recently sat down with Eckhart Tolle, number one New York Times bestselling author of The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment. Widely recognized as one of the most influential spiritual books of our time, The Power of Now has been translated into over 30 languages and has helped countless people around the globe awaken to the spiritual dimension in their lives, find inner peace, increased joy, and more harmonious relationships.

When I recently learned that, like me, Tolle has a dog that figures prominently in his life, I felt compelled to contact him to see if he would grant me an interview for Modern Dog. It’s through this dog connection that I got the opportunity to meet this remarkable human being and his Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Maya, in their peaceful home on the edge of Pacific Spirit Park in Vancouver, British Columbia. I hope you find as much inspiration in his thoughts and teachings as I have.

CW: Just looking at Maya right now…she’s sitting and playing with her toy. I guess that’s a perfect example of being “in the Now”—in the present moment. Can you give us any other examples that are dog-related?

ET: To simply watch a dog without any kind of mental commentary, just tune in…there’s a link. Something else that’s very important for many people is they realize, consciously or unconsciously, that their dog is not judging them. For some people, it’s the only relationship that they have where there’s no fear and where they realize they are being accepted and not judged. For many people it’s the only relationship they have with another being. That’s a pity, because really they should have deep relationships with humans also, but that’s difficult because every human being has a mind and every human being judges and so people become afraid, they withdraw, they put up barriers.

I believe that dogs are keeping millions of people sane who would otherwise become deeply neurotic in our alienated world. So, the dog keeps you in touch with Being—beyond mind—Being, the innermost core. You can look into the eyes of the dog and see that innermost core. There are teachings that say every being is a spark of the divine or God. You can see it sometimes more clearly [in dogs] than in a human being because the human being has the veil of mind, negative emotions, and ego, and plays a role. I believe that dogs fill a vital function in the collective consciousness of humanity. I would call them “the Guardians of Being.” They show us what we have lost and, once we realize that, they can help us in our shift into a deeper state of consciousness.

Of course, we don’t want to be confined to only deep relationships with dogs, but they can teach us how to relate deeply to another being and then we can learn to relate deeply to humans also. That has to be the next step.

CW: I think that’s very well said. In your book, you say we operate in a “fear-based society” and I think that has a lot to do with whether or not you want to show somebody how you honestly feel about them—you really love them but maybe they’re not going to give you that love back, so you’re afraid to demonstrate love and you close yourself off.

ET: Yes, it’s wonderful to see, when I walk with Maya, people come and immediately their hearts open…they may not even look at me, they look at Maya; they pat her. They wouldn’t dare do that to me though it would be quite nice. (laughs)

CW: To what do you attribute the increasing popularity of dogs?

ET: It’s the alienation of modern society and the human need to relate deeply to another being, which they are unable to do with humans. I hope this is changing, but in the meantime, dogs offer the opportunity to relate to and to have an open heart towards another being. To be able to show love to another being which is always [reciprocated]. That’s why I think dogs have a function that is absolutely vital, to keep humanity sane in this transitional period between two states of consciousness.

CW: You start The Power of Now with a caption, “You are here to enable the divine purpose of the Universe to unfold. That is how important you are.” Do you think that dogs are here for that purpose as well or are they here to act as muses to help assist us on that journey?

ET: Right now, part of the dog’s divine purpose is to assist humans. That’s why they have chosen to be with humans. They have been with humans for thousands of years and now there is a link between dogs and humans, much closer than it has ever been. So part of their divine purpose is to help us. But it always goes both ways. Because by living with humans, dogs also grow in consciousness… it is reciprocal. They are helping us; we are also helping the collective, one could say, the “dog consciousness.” The two species are part of the evolution of consciousness itself. They are different expressions of the evolution of consciousness, which is the purpose of the universe.

They Show us what we have lost that, once we realize that, they can help us in our shift into a deeper state of consciousness.

Lessons to be Learned from Your Dog:
Eckhart Tolle on Being in the Now

There are various portals that you can use to enter the Now. One portal is to become aware of the energy field of your body as you sit there. To feel that you are actually alive in your hands and your arms and your legs, throughout your body. There is an aliveness that most people cannot feel because they are only in their heads, thinking. All their attention is absorbed by thinking and they are not present where they are.

So you can use this portal, the aliveness of your inner body. You can use sense perceptions…watch nature—trees or animals or your dog. Just be alert as you watch a dog, playing, resting; play with a dog…you can learn being present from an animal. Your dog can teach you to be present because the dog is ready to enjoy, celebrate life any moment… the Now. The dog is in the Now so it can teach you or remind you.

When you become burdened with problems, look at your dog and see how the dog is always ready to celebrate life. Another opening is to ask yourself whether you are friendly with the present moment or whether you are making the present moment into an obstacle or enemy. If you are against it or want to run away from it, you create stress, you create anxiety, you create past guilt or resentment…all these things that people carry around, they are in the past, and then you have the burden of the future which you can’t control, so to come to the present moment is actually a transformation of consciousness.

They show us what we have lost and, once we realize that, they can help us in our shift into a deeper state of consciousness.

December 6, 2007

Expanding Your Repertoire

After taking piano lessons for eight years, you'd think I'd be pretty good at playing piano, right?

Actually, I am. Or rather, I am really good at playing two songs. That's it. They're the only two songs I kept playing after I stopped lessons as a teenager.

When I play these two songs, I sound REALLY good. Like a gifted pianist. It's pretty impressive! (Or at least I like to think so.)

But ask me to play anything else and I'm lost. I actually won't even attempt it any more, because it ruins my fantasy of being talented.

I thought about this as I've been giving clients the example lately of a girlfriend who has practiced misery so well she can turn any situation into a reason to be miserable. (She's doing it right now, as a matter of fact, because I won't pick up the phone to hear her complain about her brother.)

Any self-respecting girlfriend would drop me as a friend. But since she's doing the misery tune and I fit perfectly into that song of hers (since I won't listen to her complain), she uses me as another reason to be miserable. Yes, she's gifted at "miserable."

Her story is that she was miserably married for 14 years, got a divorce, then was miserably single, then started dating, then was miserably dating (that was really miserable), then got a boyfriend (fabulous guy), then was miserable because she wanted to be married to this guy, then got married (after dating four months), then was miserable because the family integration was challenging, then got counseling for that (which helped), then was miserable because the honeymoon was over WAY too fast in her opinion, then was miserable because her parents like him more than they like her, then was miserable because ...

That's her tune. Miserable.

I tell clients until we practice the vibration we want, it won't matter WHAT happens in our lives. If we only know a small repertoire of vibrations, we can't experience any others.

We have to practice the vibration we want FIRST, before we have a "real life" reason to sing that tune. We have to expand our repertoire by practicing the feeling(s) we want.

I realized I can stop using my girlfriend (whom I love dearly) as an example because I have my own example.

Years ago when I quit my job to start coaching, I was stressed out because I had no clients and thus no income. (I was still holding the belief that I had to earn money. Can't say I've dropped that one 100% yet - but making good progress.)

Anyway, I was stressed out for having no clients, then stressed out because I had only a few clients, then stressed out because I had all the clients, but wasn't sure there would be more in the future, then was stressed out because I continually had too many clients than I could fit in my schedule.

I went from where I was (no clients) to where I wanted to be (successfull coach) without my vibration changing one iota. Okay, maybe an iota, but not enough to really notice the difference.

I was stressed out from start to finish. Because I hadn't practiced anything but "stressed out." That's all I knew.

It started in my corporate world with a management change, and I didn't do anything to manage my vibration other than quit my job, which I thought would change how I felt. As you just read, that didn't happen for me.

Taking the action, changing the circumstances, making things happen isn't what makes us feel better!

Changing how we feel is what makes us feel better; outside circumstances don't do that. They can't. I don't care how many times we get married, or quit our job, or pay off our debts, or lose ten pounds ... it isn't the "thing" that makes us feel better. You make you feel better. Nothing and nobody else can.

So if we don't practice a new feeling, we'll never get to it.

The new song I'm learning next? How to be happy in a long term relationship where we live under one roof and expect that's a wonderful, beautiful, rewarding thing. Because we are house hunting right now, so it's time for me to get good at this one.

Luckily I know how to practice new vibes.

Otherwise, you KNOW the posts you'd be reading about next, right? Right. I'm not playing that song.

Instead I'm playing the one where I am so glad to have learned enough about myself and myself-in-relationship that I know how to be flexible and appreciative and focusing on what matters and considerate of my partner and believing that everything works out deliciously. And how nice it is to truly be in an intimate partnership where we know, love and support each other in ways neither of us has ever experienced before. Delicious!!

So, anyone who cares to join me in expanding their repertoire, I'd love to hear what new vibration you're practicing, so that your next success feels as good as you expect it to. Maybe even better.

Namaste.

December 4, 2007

More Powerful Prayer

I was asked to post last month's ezine article, as some of you wanted to be able to access it online. Ask and it is given! Here's the (slightly) edited article:

Gregg Braden suggests most of the prayers we offer for peace may likely perpetuate the exact opposite because we're not using the right language. He said we've got a whole globe offering prayers of peace, and that's very likely why war and violence seem to be getting worse!

A right and wrong way to pray? How could that be?

Well, it isn't so much "right" or "wrong" as it is effective or ineffective. And as John P. commented on my related blog post, it's not as intuitive as you might think.

Here's the skinny: when we pray FOR something, we acknowledge its absence. Thus we empower the very condition we don't want.

That's an eye-opener in itself, huh? I mean, how many times have we asked for more money, a better relationship or job, or improved health? Whether we ask for it through formal prayer or just a despairing cry to the heavens at a low moment, we may very well hold our true desires at bay in the way we ask for it.

Gregg's presentation brought together information from both the leading edge scientific community as well as ancient spiritual traditions to teach us the language that the Field (aka Universe, God, Matrix, One Mind, Web of Creation, etc.) speaks. That language is the one of feelings and beliefs.

As we say a prayer to end war, bring soldiers home safe, or let the turkey be thawed in time, we are likely sending out a feeling contrary to what we want. Other cultures have been taught by their ancestors that the key is to feel what we want as if it's already happened.

(Sound familiar, Abraham followers?)

Their prayers are designed to help them feel those feelings. They know it isn't the mudra or chant or gongs that matter; but rather how they FEEL is what the higher power responds to. (Gregg pointed out that Jesus shared this same information, but much of this info was edited out of the Bible by Constantine's Council in the 4th century.)

This is why when I walk around the house muttering "PLEASE help me find my keys!!" I walk around endlessly looking for them. When I remember to feel the feeling of found keys, and look for them with THAT feeling, they quickly appear. (And yes, it feels strange to walk around happily saying, "Oh, there you are!" before finding anything. But you don't have to do it for long before they appear.)

So instead of praying from a place of lack, if we form our prayers in such a way that we feel now what we would feel after it happens, we speak the language that serves us.

How quickly can a properly formed prayer work?

Abraham says we can expect things to happen quickly (as in DAYS) when we work with the law of attraction. I tell people it takes two weeks maximum of adjusting the vibration to yield the results we want (when we do it consistently, which is often the trick).

But I've got a higher standard in mind now.

Gregg showed us a video clip of a woman with a three inch cancerous tumor who was healed in under three minutes (as shown on the ultrasound monitor) when three healers in unison "felt her" as healthy. Her tumor DISAPPEARED before our very eyes. (This "medicine-less" Beijing hospital has a 95% success rate!)

Atoms can rearrange instantly; there doesn't need to be any lag time on this stuff. We're conditioned to believe change takes time, that things happen gradually, but it doesn't have to be that way!

So how do we create instant results?

Well, as Gregg surmised, instant manifestation may be where we're headed (in the next dimension, 2012, who knows?) and it may be that this "reality" we're engaged in now is to help fine tune our skills for the "next level." That's an interesting thought.

The first question is what you believe is possible. Do you believe it's possible to lose 10 pounds in two days? Two hours? Two minutes?

I know, me either.

But if I watch that tumor video enough times, I'll get there!!

The second step is to be sure you're not focused on the lack or absence of what you want as well as remaining judgment-free about it. Those three healers weren't focused on eliminating the tumor; they didn't see it as bad or wrong. They simply focused on what it felt like to feel this woman as healthy.

John DeMartini says (in "You Can Have an Amazing Life in 60 Days") that the highest most powerful prayer "is a prayer of gratitude. Not a prayer of 'I need a change in,' but a prayer of thankfulness for what is, as it is."

So what does this all mean? Let's sum it up:

1 - Believe it's possible. (We're not asking for miracles, rather we're simply employing the technology that's available to us. Which might seem like a miracle, but it's not. This is simply how things work.)

2 - Release judgment & resistance. (With practice, you can.)

3 - Recognize that your feeling is the prayer (or "order up" as I like to think of it). It's not about the words, it's our feeling that matters. And we're having those all day long, right? Let's start paying attention to what we're calling up.

4 - Feel as if it's already happened.

5 - Gratitude for "what is" helps the process.

Perhaps this perspective will help you change the way you approach your process of prayer. Happy holidays!

November 30, 2007

How to Enjoy the Journey?

We hear Abraham advise us over and over again to enjoy the journey; not to suspend our "feel good" for when this that or the other happens, but rather find a way to feel good NOW. To appreciate the unfolding of the manifestation, and enjoy the desire we're feeling for something that hasn't unfolded yet.

That sounds great, and from an LOA perspective it makes good sense - but practicing it can be a whole 'nuther story.

I mean, how do we enjoy being single while we'd rather be in love? How do we appreciate our bodies when we desperately want to drop 20 pounds? How do we feel good about our jobs that we're dying (sometimes literally) to leave behind?

Although enjoying the unmanifested desire is easier said than done, it is a skill worth cultivating.

Because when we learn to enjoy NOW .. when we don't lose hold of our "feel good" just because a big new desire reveals itself, we stay in vibrational alignment with that new desire which allows it to manifest more swiftly. Plus it just plain feels good!

So how do we do it? How do we stop hinging our joy and happiness on something happening (or not happening) and learn to be joyful and happy no matter what, right now?

The answer may be right under your nose.

... if you're a dog lover, that is.

Dogs have this skill mastered, as any dog lover knows. They know all about joy in THIS present immediate moment. For them, there is no "feel good when ... " Rather, it's ALL good, all the time. 24/7, they are good to go.

It's time for a walk? Yay!! Time for a nap? Lovely!! We're eating next? Woo hoo!! The mail is here? Ruff ruff! It's time to play? OMG!! Going for a ride? wag wag wag

These guys are ridiculously easy to please. Sadie thumped her tail on the floor last night just because I looked at her.

What if we could adopt their attitude? Ed Mills' said in a recent post that he uses the phrase "it's all good" to remind himself that everying is right. I like that, and I like even more that a dog never has to remind himself that it's all good. He gets it. That's all he knows. What a blessing!

"Think like your dog."

In fact, those were Martha Beck's parting instructions to me on my call with her this week.

She meant it in terms of don't hold it against your boyfriend that he is a callous meat eater who refuses to acknowledge his role in the misery and suffering of millions of animals. Well, she didn't say it exactly like that, but you can probably tell the part that was her and the part that was me. (My part didn't sound very much like my dog.)

This came up because I told Martha my current point of suffering was that Russ refused to watch Earthlings when I asked him to. I was frustrated not only because he denied my request without consideration, but also because he's choosing willful ignorance. I know it doesn't sound very good vibe of me, but there I was. Frustrated. Resentful. Going from sunny to cloudy & gray in an instant.

She asked, "What good are you doing anyone by suffering?" Is it helping the animals? Nope. Is it helping your relationship? Definitely not. Is it helping you? Uh, big no.

"Then let go of the suffering," she said. Stop torturing yourself. You'll make a better contribution when you're not miserable.

Shoot, I know all this. It's a little embarrassing to have to be told.

But it is what it is. I'm letting myself off the hook and getting back on track.

And frontloading my schedule with dog time. Knowing that not only will it be good for me, but more time with them teaches me even better how to enjoy the journey.

Enjoying the journey. It's all good now. Everything is perfect. We are not here to fix a broken world. The world is not broken. We are not broken. We are perfect, whole and complete eternal beings of love, light and joy. Completely worthy and deserving of all happiness, right now, just as is.

(Repeat if necessary.)

Let's have a good time, huh? Ed's right. It IS all good. Let's enjoy the journey, and if you need help, look to your dog. As Doug Autenrieth told me at the international coach conference last month, dogs are the original coaches.

And hats off to whoever had the idea of dogs. That has to be one of the most brilliant manifestations ever!

November 26, 2007

Expecting Perfect or Problem?

Last weekend Gregg Braden asked us whether we're following doctors' instruction to do breast exams and check moles regularly, that sort of thing. Conventional wisdom says we're remiss if we don't, you know!

I ignore conventional wisdom all the time, so my answer to was his question was of course NOT I don't go looking for lumps or growths or anything that I don't want! Are you kidding me?! Who would do THAT??

Gregg went on to say that "reality exists only where we create focus." So as we look for something, we create it. He thinks (as do I) that it's ridiculous to look for problems with our bodies. Most people reading this blog will understand that perspective, I'm pretty sure.

But does that mean we shouldn't be paying attention to what's going on with our bodies? Gregg says most certainly not. He said the important distinction is that you can conduct an examination with the expectation of perfection rather than a problem. And that makes all the difference in the world.

So rather than checking that mole every week to see if it's changed in color or growing in size, instead we could notice our mole and thank it for being perfect. We could look at it with the expectation that it is serving us beautifully, and that it's an indicator of what fabulous health we have. I made that example up, but I think that's what Gregg had in mind.

This was a new perspective for me, because I've done the "don't look" at all routine. Not the "look with expectation of perfection" routine.

I mean, if I HAD to look at something, especially something that I knew would potentially take a toll on my good vibe, I'd set myself up to see what I wanted. But I preferred not to look if I didn't have to.

Like when I take a foster kitty's temperature ... sometimes it feels better not to take a temp and just let them heal without intervention, but sometimes there are symptoms present that make me feel neglectful if I don't. So when I take that temp, I'm running feelings of "ahh, that's perfect sweetie. Right where we want you." Rather than "What will I do if it's high?" worries while waiting for the thermometer to beep.

Or, sometimes I wanted a high temp so that it could fit in with an easily fixed illness. In that case the vibe I'd run was, "Ok, good, that makes perfect sense kitty. Just a little bug you're working on. No big deal."

What Gregg taught me was how not to be afraid to look. Not just bury my head in the sand and hope for the best, but be a conscious creator of what I want.

Having said all that, am I really going to start doing regular breast exams? Hmm. I'll let my higher self decide on that one.

But I do know that the next time I see an ad in some magazine trying to scare me about cancerous moles, I'll repeat to myself - or shoot, maybe out loud to everyone in the room - "I love my perfect moles. They are so cute and healthy!" Ha ha!

November 23, 2007

My New Hero

As I told the Good News group tonight, I just got back from Disney's latest movie ("Enchanted") that connected me with so much joy and delight that I was laughing louder than any of the kids in the theater, cried twice, and at one point was literally on the edge of my seat. I was expecting a good show, but man, did Universe deliver!!

The scene I wanted to share was when Gisele was provoked to anger for the first time in her fairy tale life by her McDreamy lead who has a habit of saying no. The way she handles it ... well, she's my new hero!
I watched a Byron Katie clip on You Tube that included a brief bit about anger last week. (I wish I could remember which one it was so I could post it here, but maybe someone will know it and post it in comments.)

Anyway, Katie said something along the lines of how lovely it is to be angry, which would sound ridiculous to most and probably only Katie can really get away with saying something like that. But she said something like, "You never know, this might be the last time you're ever angry - so you better enjoy it!"

And then in the movie tonight there was Gisele giddy with delight over "anger"! I mean, she comes from a fairy tale world where everything is ALL GOOD.

I often suggest to clients how boring it would be if we didn't have the ups and downs of life, and feel a complete range of emotions. That suggestion might sound kind of fabricated, but Gisele couldn't have provided a better example of its truth!

Not that I'm promoting anger .. but when we go there, let's not miss out on the deliciousness of it! Being able to appreciate it for what it is makes the ride much more enjoyable.

Thank you, Gisele!

November 22, 2007

Uncommon Gratitude

This morning I wondered how to do gratitude different since it was Thanksgiving. I wanted it to be more outstanding today. I thought about my plan to ask everyone at Russ' family dinner table to share something they're grateful for. That's nice, but I wanted something more.

My mind took me to all the things I haven't been grateful for because I just take them for granted. Like being grateful that:

- I've never had to quit smoking
- I've never regretted my divorce
- I've experienced what it feels like to be in the minority
- I get to choose whether to be married or not; a parent or not
- I have blue eyes
- I've never had a boyfriend's parole officer stop by on a holiday

And then my mind took me to the things I used to be grateful for, but have taken for granted the last few years. Like:

- that I get to choose when I wake up
- that I choose my own dress code
- that I decide how and if I want to answer my phone
- that I don't have to commute in traffic
- that I get to spend my day with my dogs
- that I'm debt-free with financial cushions in place
- that someone right now is reading this (thank you!)

And then I thought of things I used to be grateful for when life was different that I probably didn't properly acknowledge back then. Like:

- having co-workers to swap stories with each day
- having an abundance of restaurants within walking distance to choose from
- being able to run errands on the way home from work
- having extensive professional relationships with other colleagues in town (I miss those guys)

I see things Russ experiences that he might not be as grateful for because he takes them for granted. Like:

- having kids he can visit any time he cares to pick up the phone
- having employer sponsored health insurance
- living in a city that offers a variety of entertainment and life enjoyment
- that cats are drawn to him

I wondered if my dogs and cats were grateful for things different than I was. It seems to me they're most grateful for:

- a warm spot to sleep
- a friend to sleep with
- food
- play
- visitors

and rolling on their back. Especially in the sun or in front of the heater.

Then I wondered whether I could find gratitude within for the things that I wouldn't normally be grateful for. Like

- that I can't figure out how to do bullets on this stupid program
- that I won't get to see my nieces and nephews this year
- that I don't have any client sessions today (I did last year, with my UK folks!)
- that my front lawn is hammered from having two young dogs on it

That's where my stretch is. Finding a way to be grateful for ALL of it, not just the nice and easy parts. The good news is I've got all day to get there. Well, all my lifetime, actually.

Whether you're celebrating Thanksgiving or not, my wish for you is that you find your way more easily to Gratitude than ever before. Namaste.

November 18, 2007

Good Time With Gregg

I learned SO much from Gregg Braden's workshop in Salt Lake this weekend that I'm not sure where to start! I'll hit the highlights and post more during the rest of the week.

One of Gregg's key points was his explanation of the language of the Field (aka Matrix, ethers, Universe, God) and how we can best interact with this Field to turn quantum possibilities into our physical reality. (PS - he said the Field is not a theory, it's a fact. And scientists have known about it a lot longer than I thought they did.)

He says we would do well to learn the language the Field speaks in order to live life the way we'd like. That language is the one of feelings and beliefs.

Gregg went on to explain that thought originates from our top three chakras, emotion from the bottom three, and feelings come from the meeting of thought with emotion in the heart (the fourth) chakra. So the top three combine with the bottom three in the middle chakra - to create feelings. In the heart.

Feelings. In the heart.

This is where the action is!

Gregg said emotion is pretty simple; it's usually one of two. Either love or whatever we think of as the absence of love (fear). When we combine a thought with emotion we create feelings. And feeling is the language of the Matrix. (Or Field. Universe. Whatever you call yours.)

So our thoughts combine with our emotions to create feelings, and those feelings program our Field. You could say it's our "order up." We get what we feel.

You know me, I'm Abraham-trained and thus talk about all this in terms of Vibration. I think that fits in nicely with what Gregg says.

Which is why, as I've mentioned before in the Pray Rain Journal posts, when we ask/want/pray FOR something, we can't get it because we're acknowledging the absence of it. We have to FEEL IT (can anyone say Lynn Grabhorn?) in order to manifest it.

No news there; you know this. (But do you practice it?)

Gregg talked about a woman who had been diagnosed with bladder cancer. Her ultrasound revealed a three inch inoperable tumor. Western doctors told her to prepare for death. She then went to a medicine-less hospital in Beijing (okay - "medicine-less hospital" - how cool is that?) and had three healers work on her. They felt what it would feel like for this woman to be healed.

They didn't wish the tumor away, they didn't make it wrong, they didn't fight against it. Tumor wasn't part of their gig. Let me repeat: they didn't have judgment about it and they didn't try to make it disappear. They just felt what it would feel like for her to be a healed woman.

(This is where many of us get tripped up in our own manifestations. We get caught up in tumor energies, if you know what I mean.)

While these three healers intensely felt feelings of her healing, the ultrasound machine showed that three inch tumor disappearing in two minutes and 40 seconds. It happened before our very eyes!

Gregg's point was that this manifesting stuff doesn't have to take a long time! It doesn't have be a gradual progression ... atoms can rearrange INSTANTLY in the presence of the right feelings and beliefs!

He also pointed out that we're conditioned to look at what's wrong and try to fix it. But looking at the tumor won't make it go away. Rather, feel the feeling of healing (if we're doing this for ourselves, then we can acknowledge where we ARE healed and healthy) and give thanks for it.

Basically, we just feel as if it's already happened - whatever it is we're wanting. He suggested asking the question: "What is your life like in the presence of your ______(healing/abundance/relationship/whatever)?" Feel that now.

Two more quick things before I sign off:

Gregg said he's shown that two minute 40 second tumor clip in hundreds of presentations, and told the story many more times than that in the last three years.

Guess what he got diagnosed with recently?

Something funky in his bladder. In hindsight, it didn't surprise him. I mean, here he is talking about this woman's bladder cancer over and over; not a surprise that he'd be a match to a bladder problem. And it gave him the opportunity to practice what he preaches. Which he did. Successfully.

Here's something else he said that hit home: once we really get that we're empowered to change our reality, the irony is that we feel less of a need to do so. It's our ego that wants to make changes. Once we accept that we are powerful creators, all of a sudden the desire to change things decreases.

I know what he's talking about and suspect some of you can relate too, huh?

All right, I'm off to try to make sense of 40 pages of notes and exciting new ideas and understandings from my good time with Gregg!

PS - at the workshop I picked up one of his books: "Secrets of the Lost Mode of Prayer." I thought about "2012," but also picked up Neville's "Power of Awareness" and "The Lost Books of the Bible" based on his recommendation. I'll keep you posted!

November 12, 2007

Manifesting Space

Last week between client sessions I had a quick minute to post an article online (it was on Thought Vs. Action, if you'd like a look-see) before I ran to a couple different stores for people food, dog food, cat food and paper. As I was driving along trying to decide what I had time for, what was most important and thinking of the article that didn't get properly edited, I felt tension creeping in.

Awareness of the tension was my red flag to release it and remember all is well. No need to be tense. But it kept creeping back in. Three times I remember consciously releasing tension, before I finally checked in as to where it was coming from. A general feeling of being rushed was behind it.

By then I'd kind of lost patience with myself. After all, I had work to do.

So we get to the first store (the dogs came with), pick up the dog and cat food along with a couple treats, no time to chat with the owner, barely time to pet the store chihuauhua on the way out.

We're on the road again and I'm deciding what I have time for next. Paper or people food, I don't have time for both. It probably has to be paper cause that'll be quicker. And I better not get distracted by any fun colored stuff - because I know I have a tendency to be drawn to colored paper, pens, folders .. it's like a magnet. No time for fun, though. We have to be efficient!

Which is the thought I was holding when my cute little car got slammed in the rear end by a woman who didn't know the rest of us were stopped.

Now, I haven't been in an accident since I was 18 (when I was also rear-ended by a girl watching cute boys on the corner). That's over 20 years of a virtually perfect driving record. This is something that simply doesn't happen to me.

And here it was happening to me. Deep breath. New priorities. Everyone okay? Yeah. Two sheriffs and a tow truck driver saw it happen and were on the scene immediately. The woman who hit us was very nice. Luckily enough I didn't hit the car in front of me, and no one hit her. Both cars were driveable (after cute tow truck guy pulled my bumper off the rear tire).

We took care of business and I headed home late for my next client session. Before my next one started, I had 15 minutes to reflect.

What had I been feeling that put me in alignment with a wreck? Albeit a very minor wreck that actually wasn't that bad an experience, it still isn't the sort of thing I thought I was lined up with.

I remember feeling tension on the drive and trying to release it several times. I realized the tension came from trying to do too much in too little time, and the thought came up that I "need more space in my life."

More space, indeed. That's exactly what the other driver got cited for not allowing between our cars. I need more space. More breathing room. I'm cramming too much in. I need to relax in lots of ways - errands, client work, in myself.

So that was my "thank you, Universe" moment where I could see the gift of my fender bender. A message that I couldn't ignore to take this space thing seriously. I've been talking to my coach about it for a while now, and only made superficial improvements. Time to show I mean business.

You better believe next time I walk through the dog food store I'm going to hear all about the owner's fun weekend, pet the store dog AND store cat before I go. I'm indulging my "feel good" at the office supply store next time, shopping for whatever I'm drawn to. I'll remember there's always plenty of time for everything important, and I'll also appreciate all the drivers who keep their safe distance.

I'm also newly committed to keeping a smaller client roster and booking more "me" time in every day - not just every week.

I share that here because I know as I say so, I'm much more likely to live up to it. Thank you for hearing me.

If anyone has any messages from the Universe you care to share with the rest of us so we don't have to get slammed in our own rear end, I welcome hearing them!

November 10, 2007

Lessons from Storm Chasing

Oh my gosh, I just got hooked into watching four straight hours of Storm Chasers on Discovery Channel, where three teams of experts spent six weeks of prime time tornado season trying to place themselves in harm's way to gather data and capture never before seen footage of tornadoes.

Although the researchers were able to gather data here and there in narrow misses with various storms, the filmmaker needed to experience a direct tornado "intercept" in order to get the shot he wanted.

You can imagine how tricky it is to predict where a tornado will travel, in order to place your reinforced tank on a road in perfect timing to get in the middle of the action.

Day after day these teams chase various promising storm systems, and day after day they come up empty. After six weeks of narrow misses, their morale is taking a big toll. On the LAST day of storm season, they head out with little energy for the project that they were once so enthusiastic about.

What really got my attention was on the start of their last desperate morning, the filmmaker walks his crew through a visualization of encountering a tornado. He asks them to imagine a beautifully forming storm system, dark clouds, a nice funnel, debris collecting underneath, winds picking up speed ... all indications of conditions for the much-anticipated tornado interception.

(I was wondering when they would use their creative powers to get what they wanted!)

Long story short, they FINALLY, after six weeks of chasing storms, actually experience a direct intercept. They got their very cool TIV (tornado intercept vehicle) in the right place at the right time and the tornado passes directly over them.

Mission accomplished? Almost. Although they intercepted the tornado (actually two in one day, after six weeks of NOTHING!), it wasn't the dramatic film experience they were after.

Their story offered a couple learning opportunities:

1 - PERSISTENCE. These guys didn't quit. Without a lot to go on, and even though they were running on fumes at the end, they stayed committed to their dream. The filmmaker had been chasing storms for over eight years, and this was the closest he'd been. Although he didn't get his "money shot," he said he'll gear up for next year, and the year after that, and the year after that if he has to.

How often do we give up before we get what we want? Universe rewards commitment.

2 - ACCURATE TARGET. Their visualization was great for conjuring up a tornado and putting them in the right place at the right time. But what they really wanted, apparently, was to also get impressive film footage of it. All they got on this last day was dusty frames of a lot of debris being blown about. Not exactly what they wanted. Maybe their next visualization will include THAT last part, I hope.

How often have we done the same thing? Thinking we're locked on exactly what we want, only to discover after getting it that we left something key out. I know I have.

So here's what my four hours of goofing off with Discovery Channel lent me tonight. Let's make sure we're clear about what we truly want up front, call in our manifesting powers early on in our endeavor (rather than after we get desperate), and remember our commitment throughout the journey.

With that being said, I'm dedicating the rest of my weekend to a review of my business and personal goals, just to make sure they're complete and on target, and renewing my commitment if I find it's lapsed at all.

Happy weekend, everyone!

November 8, 2007

How to Get Paid Using Law of Attraction

Someone owes you money or is slow to pay? While it's easy to blame the other for the situation, that energy isn't likely to help you get the money you're due. Use the Law of Attraction to let the payday in.

First of all, it couldn't have happened if you weren't aligned to it. You played a role in this co-creation. That doesn't make you bad or wrong, it just is what it is. Don't use it as a reason to feel bad, but rather as a way to lift resentment that might be present toward the debtor. After all, they're the ones that got sucked into your "I didn't get paid" or "I got shafted" vibe. (Maybe they deserve some sympathy too, huh?)

How to remedy the circumstances so the money's flowing in? Simple: shift the energy. Specifically, shift YOUR energy. You've got to change how you feel before you can get what you want.

There are a variety of ways we feel when someone's not giving us what we think we earned: upset, angry, resentful, fearful, victimized, resigned, ungrateful, etc. And we know what that energy attracts, right? More reason to feel that way. So that doesn't work.

We've all been down that road to know it.

Before someone can pay us, we have to feel a way that's aligned to that result. Which could be a variety of feelings - different for each of us. For me personally, getting paid what someone owes feels like relief. Relief of those bad feelings I was trying not to flow while they owed me money!

The work is to feel this way BEFORE they pay you. I know it can be tricky, but think of it as good deliberate creation practice. They're giving you an opportunity to flex your manifesting muscle! It helps to find new thoughts that allow for new feelings. Get creative in finding which ones work for you.

While I'm noticing someone still owes me money, and growing more irritated with every week that passes without payment, or even word from them that they intend to pay, I'm flowing energy that keeps that payday in the future. In this way I'm responsible for the delayed payment.

To bring that payday to the present, I have to feel NOW how I would feel then. So I can practice feelings of relief; that "FINALLY!" feeling. I imagine the feeling of a clean slate again. Maybe running "It's about TIME!" through my head or "Thank GOD" I can give this up now.

As I give this up NOW, I open the door to getting paid.

Also, as you flow this newly aligned vibration, check in on whether it feels good to take any particular action. Like sending a reminder invoice, making a call, or asking them to sign a promissory note.

If you take any action, make sure it feels good and do it with the feel good "I just got paid" or at least "I'm on way to being paid" energy - not the "pissed off I'm still not paid" energy. It makes all the difference in the world!

It also helps to release your attachment to receiving the money. If you find your way to knowing you'll be fine either way, that helps let the money in too. Easier said than done, I know, but it works if you can get there. (You have to really mean it for it to work, not just saying the words. The Universe knows the difference.)

I've had luck in the past with this forgiveness exercise that Connie Domino's "Develop Irresistible Attraction" offered from Catherine Ponder:

“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” - Catherine Ponder

Holding the person you wish to forgive in your mind, state your affirmation of forgiveness something like this:

“I forgive you completely and freely, I loose you and let you go. So, as far as I’m concerned, the incident that happened between us is finished forever. I wish the best for you, I wish for you your highest good, and I hold you in the light. I am free and you are free, and all again is well between us. Peace be with you.”

You might have to read it a time or two before you feel a shift, but stick with it. That shift is what releases your attachment to getting paid, which is very likely exactly what allows you to let the money in.

I myself am having a hard time on releasing attachment to a particularly large sum that I'm owed (not by a client), so I know getting to forgiveness is easier said than done. And if it doesn't feel good to go there, don't! We know how this works ... find your feel good wherever it is, and that's what'll let the money in.

Here's to a happy payday for us all!

November 6, 2007

Liberate from Limiting Beliefs

How many of us are carrying limiting beliefs? In my experience, virtually everyone. (Hey, is that another one? They're everywhere!)

The more important question is not so much do you have limiting beliefs (since we all do), but do you know what they are? What are the thoughts that keep you from getting what you want? And what are you doing with those thoughts/beliefs?

Last week Martha Beck shared with me her belief that the reason most western approaches fail (whether in medicine or therapeutic counseling) is that we try to add in the solution before we subtract out the problem.

Not everyone would agree on that; but when you're talking to Oprah's life coach who pretty much only works with royalty and celebrities, you don't argue. (At $350 an hour, you just pay attention!)

Martha tells me that our work is to identify and dissolve the "crap" beliefs (her technical term). She walked me through her process to show how it works. It was such a simple and cool procedure I wanted to share it so you could do the same:

1. Look at an area of dissatisfaction in your personal life. Underneath every dissatisfaction is a false belief. If something's making us unhappy, it's because we're believing a lie.

Here was my dissatisfaction: my boyfriend doesn't like it when Joe sits on the couch. (Joe being my 74 pound pit bull sweetheart.)

2. Ask why that's a problem. And then repeat that question four more times or so. Eventually you'll get to a core belief that's the source of your struggle. (Coaches come in handy here, because if you get slippery on yourself a coach won't let you squirm or get away with an "I don't know.")

My answers to the "whys" went something like: if we have animal conflict, this relationship is in trouble. Why is that a problem? Because I don't want my relationship to be in trouble. Why is that a problem? Because if I can't make it work with him, I can't make it work with anyone.

That's when Martha called my thinking "retarded" (I love her!) and asked if I could see my false belief. "If I can't make it work with him, I can't make it work with anyone."

Yeah, I could see the problems that thought could create. Well, were creating. The choices that belief gave me were to either make it work or resign myself to being single. And what good can come from having that kind of pressure? Not a lot.

Your limiting beliefs are likely just as entertaining and ridiculous, and you know I'd love to hear them! Please post them as comments here if you care to share!

Now you know your limiting belief, how do you liberate yourself from it? If you've got a tough one I recommend Byron Katie's Work.

Katie's inquiry process can be a bit long, so here's a shortcut that can also be very effective: simply name 3 reasons why you know it's not true.

As you name those reasons you know it's not true, you're creating new neural pathways and rewiring your brain. Literally breaking the bonds that old thought had on your grey matter!

Three reasons I know it's not true that if I can't make it work with Russ I can't make work with anyone? Martha actually made me name nine because I hesitated - so I won't repeat them here. But naming the reasons (I actually would love you to say them out loud) is crucial to liberating yourself from that old stinker of a belief.

Here's to your new found freedom from whatever's standing in the way of what you want!

PS - when you're ready to "add in the solution" - try Psych-K for rewriting new beliefs. I love this technique for its immediacy!

November 2, 2007

Got Bad Feelings?

One of the most asked questions I get from LOA savvy folks are what to do with negative feelings. We know we get what we vibrate, so if we're immersed in something negative, how do we get out of it?

Answer: stop trying to get out of it.

Feel your feelings.

They're not as scary as they might seem.

I'm not saying revel in them, or stay stuck in them. I'm just saying we aren't going to be able to avoid feeling them by ignoring them or wishing them away. It's okay to feel them. That's actually a rich part of the human experience, don't you think?

You're irritated at your sister for changing the family's holiday plans? That's okay. Be irritated. So what? Once you let yourself be irritated, it's much easier to get over it. It's trying NOT to be irritated that keeps you stuck in it.

You're mad at the boss for shortchanging you on the raise he promised? It is what it is. If you're mad, be mad. And then you'll be able to leave mad behind sooner rather than later.

It's not that you approach your less-than-fabulous feelings with the AGENDA of ridding yourself of them, rather that's just a beautiful side benefit that those negative feelings are more easily released after you accept them.

Weird, huh?

Well, it's not that weird. What we resist, persists. So don't be afraid of your negative emotions.

When I let myself entertain thoughts of revenge against that neighbor I struggled for weeks with, that actually felt better. (A LOT better. It feels awful to feel powerless, but revenge - now that gave me access to feelings of power again.) That feeling of revenge eventually gave me access to choose other feelings, like peace and appreciation. But if I had sworn off all negative feelings - oh man, I hate to think where I'd still be with him.

Where does deliberate creation fit in all this? In our conscious choice to feel what we feel. And then making deliberate movement up the emotional scale as we're ready to.

When I had Shadow euthanized, I felt sad. I didn't try talking myself out of it, although I did remind myself I didn't need to be sad for him. I let myself be sad for me. It's amazing how much more quickly I move through grief now that I know to let myself feel it. Instead of trying to pretend it's okay or wishing the pain away or doing everything possible to avoid thoughts of my favorite cat, I just feel sad.

So I felt sad.

And then ... I didn't.

Instead of dealing with buried grief that I'm afraid would just bring me more things to grieve over, I honored what I felt. That allowed me to move on to appreciation and love for what great company he was for those 18.5 years. As I find my way to thoughts that feel better, I welcome those. No need to dwell in something that doesn't feel great when there are other options available.

But until those other options become available - in fact, what ALLOWS them to become available - is feeling what's up for you now.

So here's to your fabulous feelings, including the revenge and anger and despair and all the other wicked ones. Let go of your judgment and fear of them, and enjoy playing with the full deck.

(Unless of course judgment or fear is what's up for you. ha In that case, enjoy them too!)

November 1, 2007

Cool Money Class

Is it just me, or does this look like one of the coolest teleclasses on Money you've ever seen?

Make Peace With Your Finances (4 week telecourse)

Here's the course summary:

You will learn techniques to release your old beliefs about money (i.e. money is scarce) and open up to your true abundance. Simply by changing your old patterns, you will begin to remove the fear, greed, and anger that contaminate the energy of money and replace them with love, joy, abundance and goodwill. In so doing you will find peace in your finances and joy in your life.

I am NOT receiving referral fees or commissions for promoting the class (I'm a paid participant myself); I don't even know Barbara Wilder. It's also rare for me to promote someone else's work. I just thought it sounded like a good time to get in the energy of someone who sees money for what it is: ENERGY!

I don't hear too many people talking about money like this, and I firmly believe this kind of shift in thinking about money is what allows it to flow in abundance, so I wanted to share this opportunity with those who might be interested.

Since I won't be offering my "Change Your Money Vibe" course until early next year (and it's much more expensive than this one), I thought I'd let those who want immediate financial help know about this call. Here's the link one more time: http://joyandsuccess.com/seminars/BWilder_class.html

Happy November, everyone!

October 30, 2007

Entertaining Emotional Guidance

I received this entertaining email from a friend and former client, but it was her comment at the end of the note that made me burst out laughing.

"To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife

P.S. Your girlfriend called."

The way the email goes, you read the love note first, THEN see the photo, and then the PS about the girlfriend. (This program only allows me to put photos at the top, so I couldn't do it real justice.)

But my friend's note at the end made me proud that my message of always seeking the downstream action had gotten through. Her words:

Before she got into the truck, she asked herself,
"what would feel better?" . . .

Indeed! lol Sometimes the "feel better" action may very well result in something that looks like the above photo. Lord knows I've been there!

Which is why no one else can give us direction as good as we can give ourselves.

Checking within about what feels best offers us expert guidance.

We hear Abraham say all the time that our tendency to shun anger sometimes keeps us from climbing up the emotional scale. Although it doesn't necessarily feel good to stay in the angry vibe for lengthy periods, sometimes it's exactly the bridge we need in order to get to higher vibrations.

And that's as much as I'll say about that. For now, anyway. :)

October 29, 2007

It's Not You, (Really) It's Me

Holy Hannah - sometimes I freak myself out! I just flipped through my notebook for a client quote to include in this new post I was going to write, and happened to run across the list I made a few months ago of what I wanted in my next web developer.

I just now realized the person I hired last month is all that AND a bag of chips!! I mean, to read this page and a half list of traits including:
  • personable
  • so knowledgeable
  • great reputation
  • very responsive
  • proactive
  • supportive
  • tactful
  • great new ideas
  • 'gets' me
  • loves animals
  • refers perfect clients my way
  • teaches me
  • gives extra value
  • is fun to work with
  • easy to understand
  • goes the extra mile
  • appreciates my business
... I mean I go on and on. You'd think I was ordering up the impossible!! Or at least the very unlikely!

But here she is in real living life - working on MY site & blog. (& ecourse. I'm getting her in on that ecourse someday, too.)

I got exactly what I wanted. It's freaky! Even after all this time, it still amazes me how we get just what we ask for. In REALLY strange ways!! (If she gives me the good word to share her contact info, I'm all over it.)

WOW.

I had one majorly screwed up vibe on web people for a while. After my fourth service provider, I realized - hello - it's not them; it's me. So before I hired my fifth person I knew I had some cleaning up to do.

Which I've been aware of all year long. I was easy on myself for this work. I didn't require overnight change; rather gave myself plenty of time to develop a new expectation and thought pattern about web people.

Which is also why my site doesn't give a link to this blog - that's how long I've been out a web person.

(What are they really called? It's probably not "web person." Sorry, web people! Web designer? Web maintainer? Web expert? I don't know.)

Anyway, I'm officially proclaiming myself free and clear of that old vibe, and LOVING the new one I've got going!! WOO HOO!!

Does that mean everything will go perfectly from here on out? Well, probably, but I'm not going to be flustered if it doesn't. Sometimes there are bumps in the road; that's fine, it won't cause me careening off the path if we hit one.

Okay, I'll get back to the post I was really going to type up.

Before I go, let me ask what vibe are you cleaning up? Have you got one that consistently delivers what you don't want? Maybe you get incompetent wait service or ..

... oh, stop me now! lol ... I was just about to list a whole bunch of possibilities of what we might have bad vibes on. (No need to activate THAT.)

You are spared!

Bottom line, if you've got a subject that consistently brings trauma or drama to your life, consider perhaps it's not them - but rather your vibe that's responsible. Let them off the hook, clean up your vibe, and move on to the good stuff. It's all waiting there for us when we just take the time to get aligned. : )

October 26, 2007

Managing Far Away Goals

Every Friday I join dad for a 6 mile mountain hike. Today I noticed we have very different approaches toward this outing.

After we get a couple of turns up the switchbacks, if we look up we can see our end point - a big white rock that stands out on the next mountain in the faaar off distance. I mean FAR off distance. (The first three miles are uphill, too.) Like, when I take other people on this hike, I don't even say that's where we're going because they get too discouraged to finish. (In fact, along the way, I like to point out to dad, "this is where Russ turned around; this is where Verrall turned around." hee hee)

On this morning's hike, dad made a point of stopping to look at the big rock in the distance and said jovially, "hey, that's where WE'RE going!" As I also looked at the FAR OFF rock, I thought, "that's a long frickin' way" and felt my energy fade.

While it totally energized him to see the end goal, I experienced a different feeling altogether. It seemed really long, really hard, and very out of reach.

But when I put my head back down and watched the trail in front of me, I was right back to enjoying the hike as usual. I realized it works better for me when I think of the bend just ahead, and then the next creek we cross, and then my favorite tree after that. Thinking of it in bits and pieces suit me best for making it to the end.

I thought how this relates to other goals in life. How some of them seem so ridiculously far away that we give up before we even start. And yet, if we just point out a couple of milestones along the way, and shoot for the closest one of THOSE, one at a time, we make amazing progress.

I also thought of how some people do better when the going gets rough to stay strongly connected to the end result - to remember WHY they're trudging up this hill that makes everyone else think they're crazy.

And then I realized focusing just on the end result can be tricky, too. After all, we know it's not the destination that matters, but the journey.

So although I might have thought dad's end result was the big rock (and mine the bench next to it), I realize it's more likely the time spent together enjoying nature and the dogs. Making new friends along the trail, saying hello to the regulars, and updating each other about our lives as we go.

"That's where we're going."

I've been interested lately in thinking where WE'RE going with our deliberate creation work. I have to imagine that when many of us get this stuff down pat life is going to be VERY different than as we know it now. Don't you think?

Regardless - what's before us now is the next step. It seems prudent to focus on that, and find the thoughts that most help us enjoy taking it. (And for some of us, that thought may very well be of the big rock ahead.)

I'll practice this myself as I work towards my birthday present to self of "best shape ever." Instead of wondering how I'm going to get back to looking fabulous in that size four little black Anne Taylor dress, I'll look at the next step ahead. (Getting my thoughts in alignment is MY first step.)
Once there, I'll look at the step after that, and so forth. And I'll get there. Maybe seeing that little black dress on the hanger once in a while will help - I'll feel that out as I go. And I'll enjoy the journey along the way. Simply because I said so. :)

So the next time you're feeling deflated because what you want seems so far away from where you are, remember you can get there from here. It starts with the next step, and deliberately enjoying your journey will make all the difference in the world for your continued progress and eventual, inevitable success.