December 19, 2007

Big Duh Moment

Well, you gotta love coaches.

I just hung up with mine who gave me immediate homework of lying down. "Go lie down," she said.

Knowing full well I wouldn't be good at it, she told me to let my boyfriend get cable in my house (he's gonna love that), and also get TIVO.

(I'll lie down after I write this post. I'm pretty sure.)

My coach recommended watching "Intervention" on Lifetime. And decorating shows at night, where the biggest problems people encounter is that the tile doesn't fit quite right.

All right, I never had a coach insist that I watch tv. (And somewhat purposeless tv at that.) In fact, several friends and colleagues are a little righteous in saying they not only don't watch tv, but they don't even OWN one.
And now I have not only permission, but INSTRUCTION, to watch it guilt free. (I think I love her.)

She also told me to stop reading for growth, and start reading for pure fun and pleasure. Whatever entertains my brain. Not something to "work" at, master, or create more to-do lists with.

All this because I somehow didn't make the connection for myself in the ezine I just sent out (Eliminate the Middle Man).

I had told Martha about Lindsey the massage therapist who told me I was fueled by adrenalin and insulin and that my gallbladder was shot. I thought the adrenalin and insulin observation might be right. And then reading Martha's description of adrenal burnout on page 221 in "4 Day Win" was confirmation that my gas tank is approaching empty.

She asked what I do that contributes to burnout. I gave a typical daily example of how I roll out of bed, go straight to the office, turn on the computer, let dogs out while it boots up, then open emails to see what's happened during the night. After I get out of the shower (before I'm even dressed), I pop back in to check email and see what happened during the 15 minutes I was away. I sometimes don't even eat breakfast until 1. The UPS guy knows all my pajamas, because sometimes I skip the shower part.

"Yep, you're addicted," she said.

She asked what I was hoping to find in those emails I obsessively check. "What's the best thing that could happen there?" It took me a few minutes to articulate, but it was something along the lines of some really good news that would allow me to relax a little and take a break.

So Martha told me to eliminate the middle man. (And no, she doesn't read my ezine. Is this the Universe talking loud and clear or what?)

She told me take a break now. "Go lie down."

Eliminate the middle man? You mean the middle-man good news that allows me to bask in success for a moment so I can relax? You mean just relax now?

The thought brought tears to my eyes. Relax now? Watch tv? Read for fun?

I think I've died and gone to heaven.

And because my COACH is telling me this, I will do it. My ex-boyfriend, current boyfriend, girlfriend, neighbor, even dogs - no one else could get me to relax on that couch. But I'll listen to my coach.

You gotta love coaches, and the "big duh" moments they inspire.

All right, I'm off to lie down for a bit. :)


  1. Yup.

    You gotta love Coaches.

    I sure cherish mine.

    You go girl! I mean lie down! LOL

  2. And I think that that is a perfect example of why everyone should have their own coach. My problem is that I relax too much. I deserve to find more to do. would I feel if I had more to do? It's the second thing that I want isn't it?

  3. You know, Rick, after I typed that, it reminded me how when I was sending out the ezine yesterday I was filled with this enormous gratitude for clients. For readers. For subscribers.

    This just SO wouldn't be fun without you/them!!

    Your last line made me laugh out loud. I love your sense of humor! The people in your life are blessed to know you. :)

    And yes, Robert ... what IS that second thing?

  4. As someone who is NOT your coach, I recommend you go get any of the Janet Evanovich books in the Stephanie Plum series. Starting with "One for the Money," "Two for the Dough," "Three to get Deadly," etc. They are seriously hilarious and will totally be escapist fun that you will love. Honest.

  5. I so know what you are talking about sister! That was me - until I got cancer. And cancer sure knocked me on the couch! I wish I'd had a coach at the time to tell me to 'lie down' instead of creating, achieving, going all the time.

    Thee days I've got oceans of time and space. It's a good place to be.

    Time to go lie down again ;)

  6. A recommendation from you, Nikki, I'm sure I will love! Thanks for the tip.

    Your comment made me realize I just ordered books from Amazon today, none of which were in alignment with what Martha instructed - so I'll go back to Amazon with this from you.

    Thank you for the escapist fun!!

  7. Ahh, Zoe! Wow, I get that cancer was your coach, huh? That's the kind of coach that definitely gets your attention, too.

    A full time coach at that. Hmm.

    Glad it was a temporary engagement as you got the message and found the couch. :)

    Martha said to me "It does not work to work that hard." And she quoted Abraham saying decrease your work by 30% and increase your success by 10,000%. I was like, "Really?" And she said, "I don't know. It sounds good." lol

    It DOES sound good! I like it!

    I'm retaking my title as Goof Off Queen. I'll see YOU on the oceans of time and space! ha ha!

    Thanks for posting, Zoe. You're a dearheart!

  8. Some more book suggestions for you and can be found in the young adult section (but are for all ages!); Harry Potter (man, I love the books movies, whatever! I'm mad about Harry!), and I just recently discovered the Twilight series by Stephenie Meyer (Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse) and now I'm all about vampires and werewolves:) Great imaginations on these women!

    Have fun relaxing, Jeannette!

  9. What wonderful support I'm getting from you guys in my relaxation quest!! Thanks, Lauren!

    I actually spent ten quiet minutes on the front room floor this morning (Sadie and Joe joined me, but we kept it quiet) and I only looked at the clock twice. ("Five more minutes." "Okay, two more minutes.") lol


    And last night I took time to read some of Temple Grandin's Animals in Translation. She's the autistic woman who redesigns slaughter houses for cows. AND, I've already had breakfast with my milk thistle supplement (gallbladder/liver support) - so although I won't get any trash tv in today (working till 9 pm), I'm feeling really good about things!

    Thanks again for the book recommendations. I'm a novice in this area, so taking your suggestions to heart. :)

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  11. Hi Jeanette and Everyone,

    As I read this post I was nodding my head. Yes, yes, what good advice. Couch time. Everybody needs it. And then I thought, no they don’t!

    I don’t.

    Admittedly, my mornings are carbon copies of Jeanette’s. But I look at the futon covered with cushions and think, yuk!

    That’s not my idea of relaxation—to me it’s just plain boring.

    Martha’s right, we all need to unwind, but we all do it in different ways. Astrology is a wonderful help here especially if our cultural biases (that say you need a couch and TV to relax) have gotten in the way of authenticity.

    It’s like this (in the tiny nut shell)

    The Moon at birth tells us something about what calms us down—what nurtures us on a core level so that we feel peace, comfort and ease. A person that knows how to look after their Moon and self-nurture is one healthy specimen. But its not a cookbook recipe. It’s a case of different strokes . . . .

    Here’s an example.

    Let’s say Martha has the Moon in Taurus (just a hunch). For her relaxation would come in the form of a comfy couch, a kind of melting away from mental activity or physical demands into a feeling of quietude and peace.

    That’s great—great for Martha and/or anyone with a Taurus Moon.

    But what if, like me, you have Moon in Aquarius? That kind of couch time will contribute to more stress that it could possibly relieve. Moon in Aquarius needs stimulation! It says, “If you love me, surprise me!” It’s not about reclining, I promise you! It’s about ideas, and concepts and challenges and electricity. I relax by taking hikes in treacherous terrain, swimming in shark infested waters (I’m not kidding) learning ridiculously hard instruments without instruction and conjuring the most ‘edge of your seat’ stories my mind can imagine. That’s my couch time. That feels good to me.

    What’s yours?

    Martha’s saying ‘relax’ and I agree...but let’s really cut the middle man and say, “why do I want to relax?” I don’t burn out? So I don’t get so crazy I repel all my friends? So I can be happier still? what is it that I really find relaxing? Not the couch.

    Think about it. What do you find relaxing?

    It may not be stereotypical.
    Bottom line—what feels good? If you are checking the clock every three minutes, that’s probably not it.

    Kim xx

  12. Kim, your post made me burst out laughing!! I feel the truth here.

    Huh. My authentic way of relaxing ...? I'm giving this one good thought. Thanks for helping me see the situation in an astrological light. I love it, and you rock, Kim!!

  13. I second that Jeannette, you Rock Kim. I loved your post and having moon in Aquarius I recognize that stimulation is way more appealing to me as well - time to myself to read and be inspired by new ideas rather than sit on the couch and watch t.v.
    I love your insights with astrology and how user friendly you make it all. And of course we are all unique individuals and cookie cutter solutions hardly works.
    I wonder if Martha was also tuning into your giving nature Jeannette and recommending to you to create time to give to yourself.
    I understand the joy of email communication but I also see the need for balance where we remember to live for ourselves and live what we feel instead of looking for other's validation.
    Ed Mills had me laughing with his upgrade on his blog and then sweating for a day when no one made a comment, until he thought to tweak something on his computer. My point being sometimes its a good thing to just be with your own thoughts and validate and honor them for yourself. Know what I mean?

    Love Leslie

  14. Indeed, Leslie, I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for the gentle and important reminder. :)

  15. I came to your page because of the Law of Attraction title. I got a kick out of reading your latest entry, though! It will be interesting to see what you get out of relaxing, I bet it will be far more than you expect! Anyway, I've been looking over a new book out by Marci Shimoff (featured teacher in The Secret, co-author in some of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books) called Happy for No Reason and wanted to see what other Law of Attraction stuff was out there. Maybe it'll be a fun read book for you?

  16. Wow, Anna, I think I actually have that one on its way from Amazon ... someone recommended it to me recently, and with a title like that I figured I couldn't miss it!

    Thanks for highlighting it for me again - I'll put it on top of my reading list!

    And thanks for posting, too. I know some of these blog posts might not seem directly related to LOA, but when it comes right down to it, our work is to relax and feel good, go with the flow of the stream, release resistance and embrace allowing. That's the intended theme of this blog and my life - ha!

    Would love to hear what you think of the book after you get through it, Anna. Thanks again for the tip. Much appreciated!

  17. Hi, I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say "Hi". I have to say, I can identify with obsessive e-mail checking. Too much time spent on the computer always winds me up, and not in a good way either. Laying on the couch is my new found past time:)

  18. I like, Bon Ami, that you made the distinction that being "wound up" by spending too much time on the computer wasn't a good thing. It's like Kim pointed out to me earlier - we can't pretend to know how something feels to anyone else - all we can do is know how it truly feels to US.

    I've found my couch time feels fabulous as long as I don't overdo it. There comes a time when my body says, "Okay, that's enough." And then wants to do something else.

    Kudos to us for paying attention to and following the feel good!!

    Thanks for posting, Bon Ami. Very nice to meet you!!


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