October 30, 2007

Entertaining Emotional Guidance

I received this entertaining email from a friend and former client, but it was her comment at the end of the note that made me burst out laughing.

"To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway.

Fortunately it was not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife

P.S. Your girlfriend called."

The way the email goes, you read the love note first, THEN see the photo, and then the PS about the girlfriend. (This program only allows me to put photos at the top, so I couldn't do it real justice.)

But my friend's note at the end made me proud that my message of always seeking the downstream action had gotten through. Her words:

Before she got into the truck, she asked herself,
"what would feel better?" . . .

Indeed! lol Sometimes the "feel better" action may very well result in something that looks like the above photo. Lord knows I've been there!

Which is why no one else can give us direction as good as we can give ourselves.

Checking within about what feels best offers us expert guidance.

We hear Abraham say all the time that our tendency to shun anger sometimes keeps us from climbing up the emotional scale. Although it doesn't necessarily feel good to stay in the angry vibe for lengthy periods, sometimes it's exactly the bridge we need in order to get to higher vibrations.

And that's as much as I'll say about that. For now, anyway. :)

October 29, 2007

It's Not You, (Really) It's Me

Holy Hannah - sometimes I freak myself out! I just flipped through my notebook for a client quote to include in this new post I was going to write, and happened to run across the list I made a few months ago of what I wanted in my next web developer.

I just now realized the person I hired last month is all that AND a bag of chips!! I mean, to read this page and a half list of traits including:
  • personable
  • so knowledgeable
  • great reputation
  • very responsive
  • proactive
  • supportive
  • tactful
  • great new ideas
  • 'gets' me
  • loves animals
  • refers perfect clients my way
  • teaches me
  • gives extra value
  • is fun to work with
  • easy to understand
  • goes the extra mile
  • appreciates my business
... I mean I go on and on. You'd think I was ordering up the impossible!! Or at least the very unlikely!

But here she is in real living life - working on MY site & blog. (& ecourse. I'm getting her in on that ecourse someday, too.)

I got exactly what I wanted. It's freaky! Even after all this time, it still amazes me how we get just what we ask for. In REALLY strange ways!! (If she gives me the good word to share her contact info, I'm all over it.)


I had one majorly screwed up vibe on web people for a while. After my fourth service provider, I realized - hello - it's not them; it's me. So before I hired my fifth person I knew I had some cleaning up to do.

Which I've been aware of all year long. I was easy on myself for this work. I didn't require overnight change; rather gave myself plenty of time to develop a new expectation and thought pattern about web people.

Which is also why my site doesn't give a link to this blog - that's how long I've been out a web person.

(What are they really called? It's probably not "web person." Sorry, web people! Web designer? Web maintainer? Web expert? I don't know.)

Anyway, I'm officially proclaiming myself free and clear of that old vibe, and LOVING the new one I've got going!! WOO HOO!!

Does that mean everything will go perfectly from here on out? Well, probably, but I'm not going to be flustered if it doesn't. Sometimes there are bumps in the road; that's fine, it won't cause me careening off the path if we hit one.

Okay, I'll get back to the post I was really going to type up.

Before I go, let me ask what vibe are you cleaning up? Have you got one that consistently delivers what you don't want? Maybe you get incompetent wait service or ..

... oh, stop me now! lol ... I was just about to list a whole bunch of possibilities of what we might have bad vibes on. (No need to activate THAT.)

You are spared!

Bottom line, if you've got a subject that consistently brings trauma or drama to your life, consider perhaps it's not them - but rather your vibe that's responsible. Let them off the hook, clean up your vibe, and move on to the good stuff. It's all waiting there for us when we just take the time to get aligned. : )

October 26, 2007

Managing Far Away Goals

Every Friday I join dad for a 6 mile mountain hike. Today I noticed we have very different approaches toward this outing.

After we get a couple of turns up the switchbacks, if we look up we can see our end point - a big white rock that stands out on the next mountain in the faaar off distance. I mean FAR off distance. (The first three miles are uphill, too.) Like, when I take other people on this hike, I don't even say that's where we're going because they get too discouraged to finish. (In fact, along the way, I like to point out to dad, "this is where Russ turned around; this is where Verrall turned around." hee hee)

On this morning's hike, dad made a point of stopping to look at the big rock in the distance and said jovially, "hey, that's where WE'RE going!" As I also looked at the FAR OFF rock, I thought, "that's a long frickin' way" and felt my energy fade.

While it totally energized him to see the end goal, I experienced a different feeling altogether. It seemed really long, really hard, and very out of reach.

But when I put my head back down and watched the trail in front of me, I was right back to enjoying the hike as usual. I realized it works better for me when I think of the bend just ahead, and then the next creek we cross, and then my favorite tree after that. Thinking of it in bits and pieces suit me best for making it to the end.

I thought how this relates to other goals in life. How some of them seem so ridiculously far away that we give up before we even start. And yet, if we just point out a couple of milestones along the way, and shoot for the closest one of THOSE, one at a time, we make amazing progress.

I also thought of how some people do better when the going gets rough to stay strongly connected to the end result - to remember WHY they're trudging up this hill that makes everyone else think they're crazy.

And then I realized focusing just on the end result can be tricky, too. After all, we know it's not the destination that matters, but the journey.

So although I might have thought dad's end result was the big rock (and mine the bench next to it), I realize it's more likely the time spent together enjoying nature and the dogs. Making new friends along the trail, saying hello to the regulars, and updating each other about our lives as we go.

"That's where we're going."

I've been interested lately in thinking where WE'RE going with our deliberate creation work. I have to imagine that when many of us get this stuff down pat life is going to be VERY different than as we know it now. Don't you think?

Regardless - what's before us now is the next step. It seems prudent to focus on that, and find the thoughts that most help us enjoy taking it. (And for some of us, that thought may very well be of the big rock ahead.)

I'll practice this myself as I work towards my birthday present to self of "best shape ever." Instead of wondering how I'm going to get back to looking fabulous in that size four little black Anne Taylor dress, I'll look at the next step ahead. (Getting my thoughts in alignment is MY first step.)
Once there, I'll look at the step after that, and so forth. And I'll get there. Maybe seeing that little black dress on the hanger once in a while will help - I'll feel that out as I go. And I'll enjoy the journey along the way. Simply because I said so. :)

So the next time you're feeling deflated because what you want seems so far away from where you are, remember you can get there from here. It starts with the next step, and deliberately enjoying your journey will make all the difference in the world for your continued progress and eventual, inevitable success.

October 25, 2007

Swift vs Struggling Manifesting

To be fair to all the male creators out there (who read my October 23rd ezine with the genders showing the swift creator as female and the struggling creator as male), I'm giving you your due:

Swift Creator:

Believes what he wants is possible
Willing to try
Gives himself credit where he can
Practices what he learns
Is open and trusting
Doesn't hinge his wellbeing on the outcome
Feels connected to the world and others
Easily finds something to appreciate
Leaves the past in the past
Open to guidance (from higher self and others)

Struggling Creator:

Doubts it's possible; fear it's not
Fears disappointment
Sees failure instead of progress
Doesn't give it a chance to work
Is "shut down" and suspicious
Everything depends on a positive outcome
Feels isolated and alone
Sees little to be grateful for
Feels compelled to analyze what went wrong in the past
Closed to guidance from self and others

Hope that feels better. I actually understand how offensive that may have been for some to read, as I couldn't bring myself to use "she" or "her" in describing the struggling creator here.

My sincerest apologies!!

And a clarification in the same issue: my ecology professor (in fact, my high school ecology teacher, too) in college is inspiring because of his enthusiasm and love for his field of work. I rarely meet others so engaged and in love with what they do. Which is why he's my model for joy and passion.

(See guys, my ecology professor/hero was male ... !!) : )

Seriously, the simple fact is that most of us show up in both lists at one time or another. Which is fine. That's how we work. It's not unusual and it doesn't make us bad or wrong or incompetent.

What I like is for us to be aware of where we're holding ourselves back in order to free ourselves from habits that don't serve.

Awareness is the first step.

So, along those lines: I'm willing to try to help and believe that I can (and am). I give myself lots of credit (in fact, the "thank you" emails outnumbered the "what were you thinking" emails 9 to 1, so thanks to those of you who give me credit, too). I'm practicing what I know every day (and doing so in this post now), am open to correction and new learning, I'm feeling the love for and from those I'm in this go-round with, loving life in general and appreciating that people read and think enough of what I've written to write back!

And with that said I'm off to write a new post that's been on my mind for a few days.

Thanks for being here! You likely have no idea how much you mean to me! : )

October 21, 2007

Deliberate Creation: Take 2

After receiving an unprecedented number of personal emails (thanks, everyone) following the last post about recreating reality with my neighbor, I thought it would be helpful to offer another less dramatic example.

We all have small opportunities sprinkled throughout every day to show our commitment to the life we want. Sometimes those are the easier ones to start playing with, rather than the big deal that's got us tied up in knots.

Thursday I experienced a new challenge at the computer. Emails were coming in, but nothing was going out. My outbox was filling up, and each time I would try to send another email, I'd get another error message about being unable to connect to the server, or something to that effect.

After 20 minutes or so, my concern grew. I make a living by phone and email, so to not have email access is more than a minor inconvenience. I'd never experienced this problem before. It definitely wasn't my internet provider, because I was online and receiving emails just fine. Tried researching Windows Mail help. Sheesh. I should know better. It gave me a couple of suggestions that seemed irrevelevant and the fixes they offered didn't make a bit of difference. I shut the whole thing off, and rebooted. Still nothing going out.

I started wondering who I could call that could walk me through an easy fix. Everyone I thought of would have been happy to help, but I "knew" they wouldn't be available immediately. Plus, I have a tendency to prefer not to ask for help.

So then my frustration grew right alongside concern.

I started thinking about whose fault it was that there was a breakdown here. I thought about Microsoft, Geek Squad, and Comcast always gets thrown in this group, too, when I go down this road ...

I wondered about recent emails I'd received and tried to reply to, thinking maybe one of those was the culprit.

All the while the clock's ticking, and my anxiety is growing. Clients expect to hear back from me within a certain period of time. What if this was more than just temporary? What if ... ?

Then I got conscious to what I was flowing.

Frustration, worry, tension, anxiety.

How's a solution supposed to show up when THAT'S what I'm flowing?

Right, it can't.

I've got to get to relief, easy, smooth, pleased.

So I walked away. I took a shower, which always seems to help clean the vibe up. During the shower I smiled my big smile for seeing my outbox empty and everything flowing again just the way it usually does. I said out loud, "Ah! I KNEW it!" and imagined my pleasure with myself for remembering to shift the vibe.

After the shower, I thought about checking in on computer. "Ah, give it another minute," I thought. Meaning give ME another minute to get really solid on "this thing works great."

I swapped out a load of laundry and gave the dogs a treat, remembering to feel my "relief" vibe about the outgoing email.

Then I came back to the computer. "All is well," I reminded myself, as I sat back down. I could really feel it - not just a pretend "all is well" vibe - but a sincere one. (I get there pretty easy because I practice this one a lot. It gets easier the more you practice it.)

And sure enough, all was well. The outbox was empty, everything was in sent mail just as it belongs, and we were in business again. I couldn't explain what changed - except my vibration. Which is all that matters.

It doesn't matter whether we're shifting the vibe to create world peace or make it through the next green light - it's the same process. Remember what you want, feel how that feels, and relax.

This is what deliberate creation is all about, right? Flex your muscles, and have fun with the process. It will lead you to a whole new world. :)

October 19, 2007

Leaving Reality Behind

I've got three clients telling the same story: "I can't get the relationship I want." (Hmm, note to self: am I flowing any of that? When it shows up repeatedly on the outside, it's worth looking within to see if I'm vibing it too.)

But these LOA savvy people have a long list of reasons to back up that "truth." You know those reasons, right? "I've never been able to attract the kind of person I want." "There aren't any honest men left." "The women I meet are only interested in my money," etc.

Many of us have used similar "reasons" at some point to stay stuck in our story of reality.

I got stuck recently. My reason for being there was my mentally unstable drug dealing neighbor made multiple death threats against several of us in one weekend (including the vet who came over to euthanize my cat). My neighbor was the reason I was upset, angry, frustrated, and vengeful. And I had good reason to be (can you hear me stuck on it?). Here were some of them:

He was training his dog to kill my cats, laughed out loud when he knew he'd woken me up in the middle of the night, deals and does drugs in his front yard in the middle of the day (and night), tried to engage my boyfriend in a duel, swears at his grandmother when he catches her talking to me, threatened to kill me, drives recklessly down the street while kids are out playing ... the guy is truly off-kilter.

The "truth," as I told the detective, was that this guy was a drug dealing addict who respected no one (including the police) and was a danger to everyone in the neighborhood.

My list of reasons was long and well-documented by the police. My other neighbors had similar reasons too - which made it even more true. It wasn't just me - lots of us felt that way! And we reinforced it with each other. The "reality" was we were dealing with a dangerous psychopath who could take all of us out at any moment.

So that's where I was. Can you feel what a strong story I had going?

And I know how this works. I know that as long as I'm flowing anger, frustration and other negative vibes, that's all I can attract -more experiences that inspire more anger and frustration.

I know that as I continue to send this energy out, I continue this same reality.

And I know that to change the reality, I have to change my energy.

So before I have any "reason" to feel differently, I have to find a way to start feeling differently. Or I'll be stuck here forever.

I know moving isn't the answer, because I'll just take my "hate my neighbor" vibe with me, and voila -there will be a new problem neighbor wherever I go.

My work is right here. With my best next door teacher.

What do I want? That's the question I (sometimes) remember to go to when I'm tired of feeling awful.

Well, I want Peace, Quiet, Appreciation, and Love. I write these words down on a sticky note. They're still taped to my computer terminal as I type this, even.

That's what I want. How does that feel? I conjure up feelings of peace, quiet, appreciation and love. Okay, I got it. That feels good. That's what I'm after. That's a good start to shifting the energy.

And two hours later the neighbor is cursing at my dogs who are barking while he conducts business in his front yard with yet another shady character. As I connect with feelings of anger and resentment and fear again, I remind myself what I'm creating. That's not what I want.

What I want is peace, quiet, appreciation and love. I can get there. Even here, while I'm in the midst of something that would normally inspire very different feelings, I can get there. Because I'm in charge of how I feel. I'm in charge of what I create.

I talk myself to a better place. I conjure up the good feelings again. All is well. It's okay, Jeannette. He's just here to give you practice. It's all good. Where would you get a better teacher than this?! Tough to imagine. God bless him for being willing to wear the black hat to teach you unconditional love.

Sometimes I could go with those thoughts. Sometimes it was more like, "He's digging his own grave and can't last much longer," or "That sounds like a nasty cough - maybe he'll get sick enough to die" or "Maybe he'll move in with his new girlfriend" or "The recidivism rate is 87% for h*ll's sake, it's just a matter of time before he's back in prison."

So it wasn't always love and light, but I regularly practiced talking myself into a better feeling place. For weeks. I certainly didn't get there overnight.

And I've been getting better at it. I can feel the difference.

I knew that if I could consistently get on the vibe of Peace and Appreciation and Love, that he couldn't continue the way he has been. I thought he'd end up in prison or the morgue or at least someone else's neighborhood.

But I was wrong.

Over these last few weeks I practiced finding my way out of frustration and anger to Peace, Appreciation and Love. Late Monday night I got a phone call from him.

He spent five minutes apologizing for being a bad neighbor, asking my forgiveness, promising to change (including seeking out mental health support), and wanting me to know that he respects me and would never hurt me or anyone I loved or any of my property. He was in tears within seconds of talking, and so was I after we hung up.

There it is.

There's the Peace, Appreciation and Love I've been calling in. I didn't think he was lined up for it, but I was wrong.

I knew he meant it when he said it, and the next day he had a dramatic opportunity to prove it.

The German Shepherd he's been trying to train to kill my cats actually had a prime opportunity to do so. She took off like a bat out of hell when she spotted Elsa (Russ' favorite) across the street, and Elsa ran like her tail was on fire, and then my neighbor followed suit faster than both of them. He ran after his dog like his life depended on it, because he did NOT want a bad ending for my cat, certainly not at the jaws of his dog. I loved him for his sincerity.

We've turned a corner. I can easily feel the Peace and Appreciation and Love. Even as he's chasing down his dog chasing down my cat (who easily found a safe spot). Nothing but love for a guy that I ... well, didn't easily find love for before.

We live with our best teachers. Mine has taught me even better how to flow what I want, even in the midst of a very contrary reality. (Dad reminded me at lunch this from Carolyn Myss: "Your task is to learn the lesson that the teacher has for you rather than to resent the teacher.")

For my clients who continue to repeat the reasons they can't get the relationships they want - they have the same work ahead of them. Finding a way to feel what they want before they have any reason to. That's the deliberate creation work for ALL of us.

Once you're there vibrationally, the Universe MUST yield to you. And it will seem like a miracle when it does. :)

October 18, 2007

Feeling the Universe's Humor?

During yesterday's group course session, my coach partner, Amy, told a story about how she used to wish for fame when she was little. She distinctly recalls growing up with the desire that everyone across the globe would know her name.

Her maiden name was Scott. Years later she married a guy (with THE sexiest voice I've ever heard, by the way) whose last name is Grant. Which officially made her Amy Grant.

Not what she had in mind!! lol (Most reading this blog have likely heard of Grammy winning Amy Grant.) So my partner got her wish for having a name that everyone knew. Just not how she intended.

Her point in the story was:

Did she get what she wanted? No.
Did she get what she asked for? Yes.

I'm inclined to believe that Universe knows our true desires, and doesn't play games like this with us often.

But I realized Universe is playing with me along these same lines, too.

I've been toying with the idea of a new residence. One of the things I would love in a new place is dirt paths instead of cement sidewalks. Gravel drives instead of concrete driveways, and natural growing native plants rather than perfectly manicured landscaping. Squirrels, and neighbors that wave howdy each time we pass, whether we know each other or not.

Over the last week, I realize I got what I asked for, although not remotely what I had in mind.

My two young dogs have taken a toll on this yard that my senior dogs didn't. Whereas my senior girls kept an eye on the neighborhood from the porch, these pups run up and down the fence line which ensures no grass grows. In fact, on most days their muddy feet track dirt at least halfway up the cement path leading to the front door. Voila ... my dirt path.

And no matter how many walks they get, they dig like nobody's business. Which turns up a fair number of rocks, which somehow end up on the driveway. Not exactly what I had in mind for a gravel driveway ...

I met with a friend a couple blocks from my house at the library the other day, and saw a squirrel run across the traffic-packed road. (I think he made it across okay.) So there's my city squirrel.

It gets better ...

Since we've had trouble with one of the residents on the street, more neighbors stop by to chat than used to. My neighborhood's getting closer, although I didn't expect it would come about from having a drug dealing person in our midst. And on a dog walk today, several trucks passed us and responded in kind to my "howdy" wave.

So as far as Universe is considered, it can cross me off its "to do" list. Mission accomplished.
Got what she asked for.

While I appreciate the evidence that I've been heard and answered so succinctly, I recognize some clarity about what I really want might come in handy.

"A more relaxed lifestyle, closer connection to nature, surrounded by easy-going people."

Then my question becomes: What makes me think I have to move for that? Universe already proved its possible right where I am.

So this is where I get to be even MORE clear about what I want. I may just find I've already got what I want - right under my nose.

What are YOU asking for these days?

What's the true essence of that desire? Boil it down to the heart of it and consider letting the Universe deal with the details. Lots of times we micro-manage when we'd be much better off getting clear about what we really want and leaving the nitty gritty details to the Universe. (Or at least not being attached to the details.)

And Amy, if you ever wished for a Grammy on your mantle, just get that husband of yours out in the spotlight. He's got an award-winning voice if ever I heard one! (Just kidding! We all know fame and fortune is your destiny!)

October 17, 2007

Celebrating the Middle

I've never done this before, but I so enjoyed this piece by Tama Kieve that I felt inspired to post it here. It's well worth the read:

Tama's Musings
Celebrate the Middle of Things

We live in a society where only "big success" is acknowledged. We don't care about the small steps. We don't hear about the stumbles. Yet it takes outrageous courage to be in the middle of your journey. The middle is where it's at, baby.

Maybe you're growing a new business, writing the book of your dreams, or healing from a necessary divorce. These are the times when alligators are nipping at your raw feet, the rain keeps beating down, the moon is fading, your mother is calling, and you wonder if you are going to age in poverty with hopes that never came true. Yep, these are the moments that need celebration.

These are the times we need applause and ribbons and massive hot fudge sundaes and witnesses to our magnificence. These are the times we must love ourselves through the hunger and exhaustion. These are the times when we must celebrate our courage, the power, belief, and stubborn pluck it demands to just keep lurching and wobbling forward.

Please give yourself the benefit of true perspective. Do not reject yourself for "not being there yet," wherever that great "there" is for you. You are on the path. You are on the path. You are on the path. The path begins wherever you are, when you embrace your life with honesty, patience, and compassion.

Don't join that dismal bandwagon of thieves, those silly addle-brained fools in the streets who only believe in the gods of People magazine, or the ones who believe that it's more successful to just tack things together than to be naked on the path of pursuing your truth. Don't accept the measurements of those who uphold flawed and obsolete standards. Do not borrow knowledge from the ones who do not dare. The ones who dare---absolutely know the pain of being in the middle of things. If you're life is unsettled, imperfect, unpredictable, wild at the core, stuck, or yet to "come together," congratulations. You're one of the awakening tribe. You're in the stream of being holy alive.

I spent 12 plus years writing This Time I Dance! Creating the Work You Love, without an agent, publisher, or writing mentor in sight. I spent years feeling bad because I wasn't done with it. I watched others whiz by in their perfect neat lives, crisp definitions, and big fat paychecks and I felt foolish, foolish because I was in the middle of things. I faced self-doubt every day, but I chose self-love in the end. I decided to stay true to myself even if that looked as though I would walk for years through the deep blue sea. I wanted to follow my own instincts, hold my own hand, and see where that led me in the end. It's led me here, a time in my life where I am so unbelievably grateful for all those essential "middle moments," all those experiences that shaped me, fed me, grew me, and made me what I am---and what I have always been meant to be. In This Time I Dance!, I said, "It takes a hero's journey to create a hero," and I'll say it again. Those middle moments are our ashrams, boot camps, graduate schools, and launch pads. They are anything but useless, empty, or ordinary.

The middle of things is where change takes place, where the great big barge of how things have always been turns around in the ocean and goes a new way. It's slower than a long red light, but it doesn't take place forever.

The real heroes are in the middle of things, sweating in the middle of the night alone, doubting the future, crying the tears of self-doubt, burning holes in the ground with their mad desire to flee. Celebrate these ones, the ones who are making choices right now that others will not see. Celebrate these ones who dare to make uncelebrated choices. Celebrate yourself, right now as though you are the biggest winner of all time, because you are dear one, you are. You are sticking with the wonderful and terrible confusion of creating an authentic life.

Bestselling author Pema Chodron, a beloved Buddhist nun, says, "To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest. To live fully is to be always in no-man's-land, to experience each moment as completely new and fresh. To live is to be willing to die over and over again." And Deepak Chopra, tells us to look at times of process as "pure potentiality." I think "pure potentiality" sounds like a destination spa resort, and so much zestier than a "big fat zero," or "swamp." I suggest you try on language like that that empowers you. Remember, those "pure potentiality" times are when we make our life's most significant choices. It's where we craft, envision, and realize our future.

This month I'd love you to truly celebrate the experience of being in the middle of things. Write yourself a letter of congratulations or buy yourself a small token of appreciation at this juncture, a totem of support. While you're at it, celebrate someone else who is in the middle of their evolving lives as well. We all know someone in the thick of a break up, a layoff, an illness, or someone who had their manuscript rejected or their contract cancelled, someone whose circumstances are pushing them to a new and uncomfortable edge of being.

Let's clap for all the winners, now, the winners who are on their way, the winners who are not yet recognized, the winners who are walking through the desert, the winners who are allowing themselves to win at last, and those who are even boldly allowing themselves to "lose," because they know they will never lose by staying true to their souls.

I want you to know that I celebrate you all in my heart. I am so moved by your dogged steps forward, your hungry self-inquiry, your shaky new belief in possibilities and your emerging commitment to your own inspired life. You are the brave ones, the alive ones, the ones who deserve medals right now.

Yours in the dance,
Awakening Artistry
Tama©Copyright 2007
Tama J. Kieves.
All rights reserved.

October 14, 2007

Work Wanted

I liked this story from my girlfriend Anne so much, I asked her permission to share it.

She's been on the job hunt for a couple months now. After joining her boyfriend in California last year, she burned through a couple of different positions that for one reason or another weren't right for her. She's been out of work now for several weeks, and is getting unnerved by her extended unemployment.

Anne wrote the other day, saying she's been searching job listings, sending out resumes, writing cover letters, reviewing web sites, trying to line up interviews, all to no avail. She was frustrated, to say the least.

Her note to me said she recognized she was "needing" this new job, and knew from an LOA perspective that that was keeping it from her. So she was going to work on "believing" it.

But before she got around to that she decided to give herself a break and go see her favorite band perform live. Her boyfriend took her, and even though he's not nearly the fan she is, he stayed for entire concert and they had a really good time. (She's such a big fan that her personal email address is the band's name, and she's travelled the country to see them live! I mean, the band members know her name!)

Can you guess what happens next?

The very next day she got four messages. Three from employers asking to set up interviews, one asking her to come in that same day.

So now she's feeling in "high demand" and her whole vibration is turned around.

What a difference a day makes, huh? Especially a day that includes us doing something that feels fabulous!

You know as well as I do that lots of folks would have given her advice about how to "make it happen" in her job hunt. They'd counsel her to work her network, beef up her resume, or take some other conventional action to make herself more desirable to prospective employers.

Not too many "experts" would suggest a night out with her favorite band for the solution to getting a job.

But that's often exactly what shifts the energy - doing what feels good. Which is what allows our escrow to squeak through our "real life" door.

Congrats, girlfriend, on letting the Universe do some of the heavy lifting. And I know since you pre-paved this next job that it will be a keeper!

PS - that's not say that taking real life conventional action doesn't make a difference in getting what we want. For lots of people, that "real life conventional action" is what shifts the energy, right? We do what we "believe" will work, and that believing is sometimes exactly what creates our vibrational alignment.

It's just a matter of finding your way to what feels best to you. :)

October 11, 2007

Scripting Miracles

(This is the Scripting story I promised Martha in the Pray Rain Journaling post:)

Once upon a time I was in a lifeless job and dead end relationship. The only love I had in life was volunteering as a foster mom for animal rescue groups.

But my misery in my work and love life bled into my passion, which soon contributed to my first (and I like to think only) nervous breakdown.

For various reasons I'll spare you details on, I had eight big dogs in my 850 sq ft house. EIGHT. That's a lot of canines. (I also had cats and a boyfriend. It was a full house.) Sometimes that might sound fun, but after three months it was NOT. Five dogs were up for adoption, and I was breaking new records in the rescue community for length of time without an adoption.

Every weekend we hauled dogs to the adoption fair, and every weekend they came back home.

To my overcrowded unhappy home.

One hot August day I was scooping poop in the backyard when I realized I couldn't scoop poop any more, because there was no grass left. (I loved grass. And it was gone because of the high dog traffic in the hot summer.) The poop wouldn't scoop. It just rolled along in the dirt as I tried to scoop it. It was my breaking point.

I threw the pooper scooper in one direction (it landed on the garage roof) and the bag of poop in another (landed in the neighbor's bushes), and I went to bed for four days.

Which is when I read Adrian Calabrese's "How to Get Everything You Ever Wanted."

Now this girl was truly strange. She wanted me to set up sacred space and burn incense and weird stuff like that. It was very "out there" to me.

But before I could put the book away, I knew I would have to do at least one thing in it. Just to say that I did.

The least strange thing was Scripting.

Where you talk out loud about what you want as if you already have it.

So I did that. I came out of the bedroom Thursday night. I said to my boyfriend, "This is going to sound crazy. But just listen."

(He had seen my poop flinging moment four days prior and knew I was hanging on to a very thin rope. He didn't say a word.)

I started "scripting."

"Isn't it great how Jeff"(our hardest to adopt dog - I didn't name him, by the way) ... "Isn't it great how Jeff got adopted by that nice couple. That husband and wife. Who have two kids. And a dog. A dog for Jeff to play with. And how they live nearby."

(This story chokes me up every time I tell it.)

"They live nearby, so we can visit him whenever we want. And they have plenty of money, so we know they'll take care of whatever needs he has."

"Yeah, isn't that great?"

It was a fairly lifeless script.

But from the dark place I was coming from, it was the best I could do. It was two minutes tops.

I went back to bed.

Saturday morning Verrall drove the dogs back to the same adoption fair he'd been taking them for the past three months.

An hour later we got a phone call from Trish, who ran the event. "You guys have to get over here RIGHT NOW."

I was sick. I knew the only reason they call that early is because your dog is either sick, misbehaving, or there's no room for him. No one gets adopted that fast. And I needed them to be there all weekend. I couldn't make it another week with these dogs. I knew it. I didn't have it in me.

SOMEONE needed to get adopted. It just wasn't optional that we go another week without an adoption.

But Trish went on ...

"There are two families over here fighting over Jeff. And I don't know who to give him to!!!!"

Okay, that didn't compute. I didn't understand. This had never happened.

Verrall drove us to the adoption fair. I walked in. There stood two families on either side of Jeff. Two couples, with their two kids, and their one dog. I read their applications. Perfect. You know how often that happens? Never.

We usually have to take a dozen apps before we find someone we'd even consider adopting to. And this was two perfect apps within one hour of the first day of the adoption fair!

I handed the paperwork back, turned around, and went back to sit in the car. I was in a stupor. I couldn't believe it.

It was just like I said. TWICE. Two families! With their two kids! And their dog!! Living close by!!

It had happened! Jeff, whom no one ever even LOOKED at in the three prior months, was being argued over by two perfect families!!

And the next day Oakley got adopted, too. To an absolutely amazing guy with the patience of a saint who owned a crazy dog who needed a crazy friend.

Two adoptions in one weekend after a three month dry spell!!

I doubt you can imagine my relief.

Scripting. I was hooked!

From that moment on, I read everything I could get my hands on about law of attraction. Which wasn't much back then. I didn't even know that's what it was called. (This was before "The Secret" and "Ask And It Is Given.")

And I couldn't stop talking about it. Anyone talked to me about their problem, I was telling them about this great thing I just learned.

And I've been talking ever since.

Talked my way right out of that miserable job, unhappy relationship, financial fears ... and more.

Our words create our world.

Are you paying attention to what you're saying? Are you choosing your words deliberately? Are you talking about what you want?

When you do that, especially when you talk about what you want as if you already have it - miracles happen.

What are you creating with your words today?

To this day, I don't get out of the shower without thanking angels in advance for what I want as if it were already here. Shower is a safe place to speak it out loud so no one thinks you're crazy. Plus, doing it with gratitude - that's a good vibe. And then you add the water element, which amplifies energy - that's a powerful practice.

I highly recommend it. :)

October 10, 2007

All Is Well

I've been inundated with emails from kind readers who are wanting to help ease my pain and attachment to Sasha, based on the story I told in yesterday's (Oct 9th) ezine. Several also expressed surprise that I was married. (I'm not.)

I failed to mention in yesterday's ezine that those events took place over a decade ago.

Sasha was Kita's sister, both have been gone for a while now. As has been my dear husband. He didn't die, but we're still great friends to this day. lol (Okay, that just makes me laugh that I said "but" instead of "and" in that last sentence.)

Between Kevin, Sasha, Kita, along with many other cats, boyfriends, jobs, and girlfriends, I've had plenty of practice to learn how to release attachment.

We all have plenty of practice, don't we?

Learning to let this be easy; to recognize that how we feel is up to us, no one and nothing else; and to embrace our power to feel good right now, despite what is or isn't happening - that's what will set us free.

That's where life gets unconditionally good.

Anyway, I just wanted to set the record straight that this took place in the mid-90's and thank everyone for writing. Here's a reprint of the story for those who aren't receiving my bi-monthly ezine and have no idea what I'm talking about. (And if you want the tips & tricks to determine whether you're attached, sign up for the ezine using the sign up box in the right hand column here and I'll send you a full copy.)

Before you get what you want, whether it's money, the body, career or love life, you get to learn how to want it without attachment. Because as long as you're attached, it will elude you.

Here's the deal. Although strong desire is helpful in a speedy manifestation, when we desperately want something, or have to have it, or condition our happiness on getting it, we slow its progress. (Sometimes even halt progress.)

So releasing attachment to what we want allows cool things to happen.

Knowing to do it is one thing; practicing releasing attachment is another.

"I can't live without him/her." Have you ever heard someone say those words? Or maybe you have yourself.

I felt that way about my first dog, Sasha. She turned up missing last morning of a camp
trip. My husband went to work, but I searched for her on that damn mountain for three days before Kevin finally made me come home. I was devastated.

On the front porch steps I fell to my knees. I literally couldn't come home without my girl. (Kevin
thought he was going to have to take me to the hospital for a sedative. I was that kind of distraught.)

Can you feel my attachment? It's an extreme example, but it's important to be able to tell when you're attached to an outcome.

We found Sasha a couple days later (on a completely different mountain range). I'm certain the only reason we found her was because Kevin was still connected to Source; I surely wasn't.

He was able to follow intuition and discern inspired action, which led us straight to her. (A miracle, in my book.) I was numb, running nightmare thoughts of life without Sasha. To this day it's a
tough story to tell.

That's what attachment feels like: Shut down. Disconnected. Gotta have it. Won't be happy till it gets here. If this doesn't happen, my life is over.

How attractive is that? (Not!)

Universe doesn't flow good stuff there. It sends the good stuff where there's nice strong desire and "feel good" already present. Where it feels EASY, appreciated, and open.

Are you wondering whether you're experiencing attachment? Tips & Tricks below will help you determine whether you might be

So just to have a happy ending here - when Kevin did finally get me through the front door, we came in to hear a voice mail message from one of the rangers. (This was before we had cell phones. Well, before HE did. I still don't.)

We had posted lost dog signs all over campgrounds and fishing spots and the ranger's place. The ranger from another mountain range was at our ranger's place when he saw our lost dog sign, and told a story about how a couple of his workmen who were making a new trail with heavy construction equipment had seen some sort of strange animal they could not for the life of them identify. (Sasha was a red chow.)

It was so strange they were telling the story back at the office. (They didn't even know it was a dog.)

So our ranger left a message giving a ROUGH idea of where he thought the other ranger's men saw what could have been Sasha. We waited till morning light to start looking on that new mountain, and after a couple hours of driving, Kevin felt a strange impulse to turn where there was no road, and right after he turned we looked to the left and saw her hiding behind a big bush.

She had not done well in the wild. lol

I was too numb to even be happy or relieved. I was just numb. And that was WITHOUT drugs!

Sasha, she was my girl.

Of course, so was Kita. And Sophie. And now Sadie. And I'm sure there will be more.

I don't have digital photos of Sasha, but she was a looker! Here's one of Kita, though - Sasha's big sister and my favorite girl of all (with Soph in the background - my other favorite girl).

As one astute reader said, dogs are particularly gifted at teaching us non-attachment. They are perfect models at how everything is okay, no matter what is or isn't going on.

God Bless the Dogs. :)

October 6, 2007

"I Secreted It ... "

Yesterday I met a new girl at the salon who asked what I did for a living. I told her I was a life coach specializing in the Law of Attraction, and asked if she'd heard of "The Secret."

Oh boy, had she heard of it!

The tone in her answer clued me in that she wasn't a fan.

She said doesn't believe in it. At least not fully. (She added that last part in an effort to minimize offense.)

She went on to explain that she used the Secret to get pregnant, but still had three miscarriages. So it didn't work for her at all.

Despite the fact that she was seven months pregnant as she told this story (happily expecting to deliver a healthy boy in mid-December), and despite the fact that she said she used the Secret to get pregnant (versus give birth) - four times no less! - she was steadfast in her belief that the Secret didn't work.

Her exact words: "I Secreted it and it didn't work." (I enjoyed hearing the Secret as a verb!)

I also njoyed not feeling compelled to point out the fairly obvious contradiction in her experience and belief. And I thought how odd that the very same situation is proof for one person it doesn't work and proof for another it does.

We each do truly get what we think.

I think it works, and I see in her situation the proof of it. She thinks it doesn't work, and sees in her situation the proof of it.

We really are each creating our own little world, huh?!

I offer this story as an opportunity for each of us to examine where a new perspective might serve us better.

My tried and true neighbor gave me such an opportunity this morning. A mobile vet I’ve never used before arrived to euthanize my 18 year old cat, Shadow, and mistakenly parked in the neighbor’s driveway instead of mine. My neighbor came raging out of his house with expletives afire about how he couldn’t park there.

As I met this new vet I learned he just arrived from Iowa, and has only been in Utah a few months. One of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. “Good people” is what my father-in-law would call him. And here he is getting a greeting like that from my neighbor. I was mortified.

And angry.

Which I caught on to pretty quick. As you know, I have much experience with the “angry at my neighbor vibe,” which I’m purposely deactivating. So I found my way to a new perspective fairly quickly.

After apologizing to my new vet friend and explaining that the neighbor’s on crack and isn’t in charge of his behavior, I realized my neighbor probably has very few things in life he can control. Who parks in his driveway is likely one of them.

We all know how good it isn’t to feel powerless, and when a stranger’s parked in your driveway, that’s likely to activate “powerless.” I can see that.

So, with those thoughts in mind, I can cut him some slack. I’ve probably been mad at someone blocking my driveway a time or two. He and I aren’t that different, I remind myself. And that feels better.

Plus, I’m probably feeling a little powerless myself as I have to say goodbye to my Shadow. So .. it’s easy to see how “powerless” would show up in my world.

And then I remind myself we’re far from powerless. We’re creating all of this! And when I practice managing my feelings, I’m creating the kind of live that makes it all worthwhile.