"I Secreted It ... "

Yesterday I met a new girl at the salon who asked what I did for a living. I told her I was a life coach specializing in the Law of Attraction, and asked if she'd heard of "The Secret."

Oh boy, had she heard of it!

The tone in her answer clued me in that she wasn't a fan.

She said doesn't believe in it. At least not fully. (She added that last part in an effort to minimize offense.)

She went on to explain that she used the Secret to get pregnant, but still had three miscarriages. So it didn't work for her at all.

Despite the fact that she was seven months pregnant as she told this story (happily expecting to deliver a healthy boy in mid-December), and despite the fact that she said she used the Secret to get pregnant (versus give birth) - four times no less! - she was steadfast in her belief that the Secret didn't work.

Her exact words: "I Secreted it and it didn't work." (I enjoyed hearing the Secret as a verb!)

I also njoyed not feeling compelled to point out the fairly obvious contradiction in her experience and belief. And I thought how odd that the very same situation is proof for one person it doesn't work and proof for another it does.

We each do truly get what we think.

I think it works, and I see in her situation the proof of it. She thinks it doesn't work, and sees in her situation the proof of it.

We really are each creating our own little world, huh?!

I offer this story as an opportunity for each of us to examine where a new perspective might serve us better.

My tried and true neighbor gave me such an opportunity this morning. A mobile vet I’ve never used before arrived to euthanize my 18 year old cat, Shadow, and mistakenly parked in the neighbor’s driveway instead of mine. My neighbor came raging out of his house with expletives afire about how he couldn’t park there.

As I met this new vet I learned he just arrived from Iowa, and has only been in Utah a few months. One of the nicest guys you’ll ever meet. “Good people” is what my father-in-law would call him. And here he is getting a greeting like that from my neighbor. I was mortified.

And angry.

Which I caught on to pretty quick. As you know, I have much experience with the “angry at my neighbor vibe,” which I’m purposely deactivating. So I found my way to a new perspective fairly quickly.

After apologizing to my new vet friend and explaining that the neighbor’s on crack and isn’t in charge of his behavior, I realized my neighbor probably has very few things in life he can control. Who parks in his driveway is likely one of them.

We all know how good it isn’t to feel powerless, and when a stranger’s parked in your driveway, that’s likely to activate “powerless.” I can see that.

So, with those thoughts in mind, I can cut him some slack. I’ve probably been mad at someone blocking my driveway a time or two. He and I aren’t that different, I remind myself. And that feels better.

Plus, I’m probably feeling a little powerless myself as I have to say goodbye to my Shadow. So .. it’s easy to see how “powerless” would show up in my world.

And then I remind myself we’re far from powerless. We’re creating all of this! And when I practice managing my feelings, I’m creating the kind of live that makes it all worthwhile.