October 19, 2007

Leaving Reality Behind

I've got three clients telling the same story: "I can't get the relationship I want." (Hmm, note to self: am I flowing any of that? When it shows up repeatedly on the outside, it's worth looking within to see if I'm vibing it too.)

But these LOA savvy people have a long list of reasons to back up that "truth." You know those reasons, right? "I've never been able to attract the kind of person I want." "There aren't any honest men left." "The women I meet are only interested in my money," etc.

Many of us have used similar "reasons" at some point to stay stuck in our story of reality.

I got stuck recently. My reason for being there was my mentally unstable drug dealing neighbor made multiple death threats against several of us in one weekend (including the vet who came over to euthanize my cat). My neighbor was the reason I was upset, angry, frustrated, and vengeful. And I had good reason to be (can you hear me stuck on it?). Here were some of them:

He was training his dog to kill my cats, laughed out loud when he knew he'd woken me up in the middle of the night, deals and does drugs in his front yard in the middle of the day (and night), tried to engage my boyfriend in a duel, swears at his grandmother when he catches her talking to me, threatened to kill me, drives recklessly down the street while kids are out playing ... the guy is truly off-kilter.

The "truth," as I told the detective, was that this guy was a drug dealing addict who respected no one (including the police) and was a danger to everyone in the neighborhood.

My list of reasons was long and well-documented by the police. My other neighbors had similar reasons too - which made it even more true. It wasn't just me - lots of us felt that way! And we reinforced it with each other. The "reality" was we were dealing with a dangerous psychopath who could take all of us out at any moment.

So that's where I was. Can you feel what a strong story I had going?

And I know how this works. I know that as long as I'm flowing anger, frustration and other negative vibes, that's all I can attract -more experiences that inspire more anger and frustration.

I know that as I continue to send this energy out, I continue this same reality.

And I know that to change the reality, I have to change my energy.

So before I have any "reason" to feel differently, I have to find a way to start feeling differently. Or I'll be stuck here forever.

I know moving isn't the answer, because I'll just take my "hate my neighbor" vibe with me, and voila -there will be a new problem neighbor wherever I go.

My work is right here. With my best next door teacher.

What do I want? That's the question I (sometimes) remember to go to when I'm tired of feeling awful.

Well, I want Peace, Quiet, Appreciation, and Love. I write these words down on a sticky note. They're still taped to my computer terminal as I type this, even.

That's what I want. How does that feel? I conjure up feelings of peace, quiet, appreciation and love. Okay, I got it. That feels good. That's what I'm after. That's a good start to shifting the energy.

And two hours later the neighbor is cursing at my dogs who are barking while he conducts business in his front yard with yet another shady character. As I connect with feelings of anger and resentment and fear again, I remind myself what I'm creating. That's not what I want.

What I want is peace, quiet, appreciation and love. I can get there. Even here, while I'm in the midst of something that would normally inspire very different feelings, I can get there. Because I'm in charge of how I feel. I'm in charge of what I create.

I talk myself to a better place. I conjure up the good feelings again. All is well. It's okay, Jeannette. He's just here to give you practice. It's all good. Where would you get a better teacher than this?! Tough to imagine. God bless him for being willing to wear the black hat to teach you unconditional love.

Sometimes I could go with those thoughts. Sometimes it was more like, "He's digging his own grave and can't last much longer," or "That sounds like a nasty cough - maybe he'll get sick enough to die" or "Maybe he'll move in with his new girlfriend" or "The recidivism rate is 87% for h*ll's sake, it's just a matter of time before he's back in prison."

So it wasn't always love and light, but I regularly practiced talking myself into a better feeling place. For weeks. I certainly didn't get there overnight.

And I've been getting better at it. I can feel the difference.

I knew that if I could consistently get on the vibe of Peace and Appreciation and Love, that he couldn't continue the way he has been. I thought he'd end up in prison or the morgue or at least someone else's neighborhood.

But I was wrong.

Over these last few weeks I practiced finding my way out of frustration and anger to Peace, Appreciation and Love. Late Monday night I got a phone call from him.

He spent five minutes apologizing for being a bad neighbor, asking my forgiveness, promising to change (including seeking out mental health support), and wanting me to know that he respects me and would never hurt me or anyone I loved or any of my property. He was in tears within seconds of talking, and so was I after we hung up.

There it is.

There's the Peace, Appreciation and Love I've been calling in. I didn't think he was lined up for it, but I was wrong.

I knew he meant it when he said it, and the next day he had a dramatic opportunity to prove it.

The German Shepherd he's been trying to train to kill my cats actually had a prime opportunity to do so. She took off like a bat out of hell when she spotted Elsa (Russ' favorite) across the street, and Elsa ran like her tail was on fire, and then my neighbor followed suit faster than both of them. He ran after his dog like his life depended on it, because he did NOT want a bad ending for my cat, certainly not at the jaws of his dog. I loved him for his sincerity.

We've turned a corner. I can easily feel the Peace and Appreciation and Love. Even as he's chasing down his dog chasing down my cat (who easily found a safe spot). Nothing but love for a guy that I ... well, didn't easily find love for before.

We live with our best teachers. Mine has taught me even better how to flow what I want, even in the midst of a very contrary reality. (Dad reminded me at lunch this from Carolyn Myss: "Your task is to learn the lesson that the teacher has for you rather than to resent the teacher.")

For my clients who continue to repeat the reasons they can't get the relationships they want - they have the same work ahead of them. Finding a way to feel what they want before they have any reason to. That's the deliberate creation work for ALL of us.

Once you're there vibrationally, the Universe MUST yield to you. And it will seem like a miracle when it does. :)


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  2. I don't think your neighbor is such a dumbie contrary to what he has been portraying. I mean hello, he has managed to manifest you as his neighbor. And being the bright beacon of light you are, he seems desperate to keep the contact.

    So not such a dumbie, just doesn't seem to have too many tools. So good for you Jeannette for raising the bar and not buying into that. And giving him a hand with learning how to be a decent human being.

    And even more to the point how wonderful you chose to maintain your power and intent. Nothing short of amazing. What a superstar you are!

    Love Leslie

  3. Thanks, Leslie, although you can imagine I sure didn't feel like a superstar through the process. But, this is what LOA in the real world sometimes looks like ... at least in mine, anyway! lol

  4. Jeannette,

    Wow, thanks to you for writing this. I was just working with someone who had "bad neighbor" things going on. I'm going to send her a link to this post! You're the best!


  5. Well, it happened to also be the big challenge in my life lately - but the process works no matter what we're struggling with.

    Whether it's a boss, a physical body condition, financial situation, employee, spouse, kids, landlord, house issues - whatever we're dealing with - shifting the energy we're flowing gives us access to new experiences.

    And man, is it fun to use! lol

    Thanks for spreading the word, Alora. And thanks for reading!!

  6. this is just an awesome post. well done you! how very amazing and inspiring. i really needed to read this today, too. so thanks :)

  7. Thanks for saying so, Holly. It's certainly not the kind of situation I'm proud to have created in the first place, but ... it is what it is. Another learning opportunity! :)

  8. Jeannette, this was a great post. I can think of 2 or 3 "bad neighbor" things that I'm dealing with and feeling completely justified in my negative vibes. I can see that I have the choice to shift my thinking. Thank you for this story!

  9. Thanks for your post, Anonymous! I'm holding good thoughts for you on getting what you want with YOUR neighbor.

    In fact, I just now hung up with the detective who called to ask how everything was (he also left a voice mail earlier this week - what great follow up!) and I said it has been about as dramatic a turnaround as anyone could expect.

    I gave him specifics about how the neighbor's keeping normal hours, or at least not waking everyone up at night, doesn't have "friends" coming over continually throughout the day, he's taking his dog in at night so she doesn't bark through the night, he doesn't mutter at people passing by, he drives responsibly down our street, and about the phone call he made last week to me apologizing and promising to improve.

    As I described it, I realized how unbelievable it sounded. And I said so to the detective. But it all makes sense from an LOA perspective.

    What power of influence we yield when we choose to line up, huh?!

    Good luck with your situation, Anonymous, and thanks for posting!

  10. Wow, I feel so different about my neighbours after reading this post. At least they don't get into trouble with the law.

    My neighbours who are staying one floor above like to put their wet mop out to hang, and it drips on my clothes. In addition, one of them is a heavy smoker, so the smoke whiffs into our apartment quite often.

    I guess I will use the law of attraction to attract better behaviour from them, and make things more pleasant.

    P.S. I love your blog!

  11. Ha ha - yeah, sometimes comparing DOES make us feel better, huh Sarah? lol Thanks for posting!

    I often use that technique with clients (well, myself too) when we're starting to think we have it so bad - look around and see how good we actually have it.

    Like, at least my neighbor is afraid of the police. lol Some neighbors shoot at police, so ... it could have been worse! And at least I had a good relationship with his grandma - it's not like I had issues with everyone in the house.

    All right, that felt pretty wimpy, but you know what I mean. It can be effective. Thanks for bringing that up! : )

    And thanks for the positive feedback. It means much to me!!


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