We crack me up. That was my thought, after I caught myself in a tirade directed toward Sadie, who saves her most ferocious bark for nice neighbors walking their dogs down our street every evening.Peacefully engaged in Bruce Lipton's "Biology of Belief," I jumped two feet off the couch when Sadie launched a barrade of barks at the front door.
"All right, that's ENOUGH!" I shouted. "There is no barking here! That is NOT what we do!! There will be PEACE in this house, young lady!"
Even as I adopted as ferocious a bark as hers, attempting to enforce peace in our night, I laughed at my ridiculous self.
It reminded me of a friend who had just recounted how he told his (apparently ex) girlfriend that she shouldn't try to find happiness outside of her. (In this case, in the arms of an ex-boyfriend.) He wanted to lecture her on how happiness could only come from within, and she would continually struggle if she didn't learn this.
His words were right on, and yet the reason he phoned was because he was upset she'd reunited with another man. He was lost, and knew his happiness would return when she understood her mistake and returned to him. How could he make her understand?
It took him a minute to see how he was doing the same thing she was: looking for happiness outside of himself. (We all know it's an inside job, right? But how often do we forget to practice it!)
I suggested the best way to teach her this valuable lesson was by embodying it. Set the example. Show her what it looks like by living it.
As I'm laughing at myself for thinking my shouting will quiet Sadie's, and thinking of my friend who lectures his girlfriend to stop seeking happiness outside herself so he can get her back and regain HIS happiness, I think how easily we fall into the routines that we "know" better about.
Yesterday in the parking lot two young boys argued about pushing the shopping cart when dad boomed out, "Strike TWO!" The older one pleaded, "But daaaad ... " Dad admonished elder son for whining, which is when mom stepped in and said something that made dad whine back to wife, "But I already told him once!" in the same tone he just reprimanded son for using.
How funny are we? We think we'll return to peace with noise; or find happiness by controlling another; or teach our children to be different than the example we set ...
We get what we vibrate. So for me, that leaves my work to make peace with Sadie's barking, and maybe sprinkle on top a couple visions of how I'd like her to be. Lynn did it with her dogs; I'm sure I can do it with mine. It starts with releasing my resistance to what is, and finding my way to peace.
In fact, I'll start with the accompanying photo for this post. I started to look for a barking dog, but peaceful dog is probably a better start. : )
That is SO true...
ReplyDeleteIn my house, the kids dish back what they have been served. The fact that the way we deal (usually poorly) with those we love is so ingrained, so familiar, that it is particularily insidious.
Today I'm going to practise not being too tough on myself, and laugh at my tendency to expect others to give me something other than I give them....
AND I still have some "find happiness within" work to do. Thanks for the great post!
I suspect we all have room for improvement, Leah, in truly embracing the "happiness within" way of life.
ReplyDeleteIt's easy to get something in our sights and hold our "happiness breath" while we pursue it. Enjoying the journey truly is a practiced art.
In fact, that's one of my top tips to new coaches I work with - that they find a way to enjoy the process of building a practice (because I sure didn't). What's more fun than building your business? If you know your success is inevitable, and you release fears of failure, enjoyment is inevitable (if you love what you're doing).
Anyway, yes, I love your practice of laughing at your tendency to expect something other than you give. Laughing IS a nice way to shift the vibe and maintain self-love.
Very good. Last night I mildly reprimanded my grown daughter for poking fun about how another person conducts themselves. She had an audience as she strutted across the room, walking and talking like this other person. Everyone was rolling with laughter as she is very funny. I called her into another room and reminded her there is no room to "make fun" of anyone. We are all alike anyway....She took my point and agreed and even thanked me for bringing it to her attention. Then, this morning.....I did the same thing on a "more brief" measure. Wow, talk about practicing what I preach?????? I appreciate your words!
ReplyDeleteJeannette,
ReplyDeleteI loved that you said, "We get something in our sights and hold our 'happiness breath' while we pursue it."
Wow. I am going to think about that!
Thank you!
x Kim
You said it perfectly, Teena: "We are all alike anyway"!! Just as she did, you do. And vice versa.
ReplyDeleteOoh - here's a strange one. Has anyone heard the 12 strands thing? It's a little strange, but maybe not so. My dad was quoting P'taah, and he wasn't that familiar with it, and so me trying to repeat will be challenging to get this right - but I like the thought of it, so I'm sharing it despite the fact that I know nothing about it.
But it's that we all come from one source, which isn't that strange a thought these days - at least I don't think it is for most of us. And that from this source, you can think of this one source as dividing into twelve different strands or threads. And then each of those threads divides into twelve more. And so on and so on.
So we are each these apparently different and maybe even separate - looking strands, but we all connect up at the original thread. All connected, from one. I didn't describe that well, did I? lol
Anyway, that's what I thought of when you said to your daughter, "We are all alike anyway."
A client said the same thing the other day as her sister commented on something she didn't appreciate about their mother. My client could easily agree with her sister's opinion, and could also easily see that each one of them was the exact same way. We are all alike.
The Universe as a mirror theory fits in well with that, too.
Kim - thanks for commenting on the happiness breath. I've become aware I do that sometimes when I put my peace of mind on hold while working towards some outcome. It feels SO much better to breathe through the process, or the journey, and to feel good now, and not put anything on hold or rely on an outcome to enjoy this present moment.
I get to practice remembering that regularly. :)