April 1, 2007

Struggling With a Naysayer?

Clients often ask, now that they're turned on to the law of attraction, how to get a spouse or close friend to embrace deliberate creation too. After all, it's easier to practice when those close to us are on board with what we're up to, right?

Yeah, probably. But live and let live, huh? I usually suggest they not push it on anyone, live the example, others will figure it out eventually, etc. Easy words to preach until my boyfriend joined the ranks of naysayers last week.

My boyfriend! The guy I spend most of my free time with! Doesn't believe in the law of attraction?! I could hardly believe my ears. He maintains I heard him wrong, but I distinctly recall hearing "thought alone cannot result in physical manifestation."

Come again??

He repeated it for me. "You cannot sit in that chair and create a million dollars just by thinking about it." He was hot (not in a sexy boyfriend way) and vehemently adamant.

"Oh yeah? You wanna watch me??" That's what I thought, but I didn't say it because I was in shock to realize I was sleeping with a non-believer.


I mean, it's fine for my clients to be married to someone who thinks they're up in the night to believe thoughts are things - but not me! My entire LIFE is built on the principles of law of attraction. How could I share it with someone who thought I was high? How could my partner not believe in what my entire life was founded on? And how was I just learning this after eight months together?

The things is, now that the Secret's not a secret, plenty of deliberate creators are experiencing backlash from those who aren't on board. Joe Vitale wrote about this in a recent blog. The Manifest Life people, just for the humor factor, forwarded an angry letter from a non-believer who attacked Oprah for spreading evil (because she believes and shares the Secret).

Well, hey, Galileo was imprisoned for suggesting earth was not the center of the Universe and Louis Pasteur was ridiculed for believing in germs. So it's not unusual we would take heat for an idea that scrambles people's understanding of reality. Part of the package in walking the leading edge, I guess.

So what to do when the one you love thinks you're off your rocker? I don't have all the answers, but here's what worked for me:


  • Don't get defensive. They're not attacking you, although it might sound that way. They're just taking a while longer to get used to the idea of a round planet. Cut 'em some slack. We were in the dark once upon a time, too. ; )
  • Find your common ground. Instead of focusing on the problem, look at what you agree on. For example, my guy (thinks he) understands the power of right thought. And I was quick to agree that inspired action is a critical part of successful manifesting. Common ground is good.
  • Live and let live. Everyone gets to choose for themselves what to believe. Resisting your partners' beliefs just makes them that more stuck. You say tomato, I say tomatoe - we can still get along.
  • My favorite way for someone to see the light about the power of thought is to simply invite them to pay attention. Especially if I have no attachment to their realization, people usually see quite readily how their thoughts, expectations and beliefs come to fruition.
Last, a word about the power of thought and the role of action in creating what we want. Could I manifest a million dollars just by sitting in my chair thinking about it? The answer is if I can imagine it, it can happen. But it's more likely I'd get tired of sitting in the chair after an hour or so, and go do something I enjoyed. Which is what would lead to my million if I maintained that desire. My boyfriend would point to the "feel good" action as the reason I made a million bucks. I'd point to the thought (just to prove my point), and we'd both be right. Bottom line is they're a powerful combination: right thought and inspired action. Just like me and my guy. ; )

2 comments:

  1. This is something I find myself struggling with, so thank you for addressing it. (I actually asked this question during the teleseminar the other night!) I totally agree, live and let live; and the example people see in the great life you make for yourself will speak for itself. Even if it's too big for them to wrap their minds around, they will have to admit, "She must be doing SOMETHING right!"

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  2. Thanks for your thoughts on this, Eloni!

    (I love typing "Eloni"! How fun for you to have such a beautiful and unique name!)

    You're absolutely right - by living the example people will sooner or later pick up something from it. Even if it's just envy. lol

    Seriously, that's the best way to share this work: live the example. I know when someone tries pushing something on me, I'm automatically resistant. But when they're just doing they're happy thing, I'm curious.

    Plus, we're getting more and more great company as deliberate creators every day! More people are hearing about it, and talking about it, and practicing it!

    Thanks for your comment, Eloni. And for your participation in class! It's a joy to have you with us!

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